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Lorazepam Free


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Hi, I have been writing a success story in my head since I started this and I am ready to put something online. I am going to be very brief about my experience with Lorazepam because recounting the whole experience is still difficult for me. I am still processing all of it.

-I started a low dose 2.5mg lorazepam during the pandemic for anxiety, insomnia, and panic

-I took it about 1x per week for a year

-in the second year my frequency of doses creeped up until I reached about 3x per week.

-I hit tolerance about 6months ago and started having bizzarre symptoms that I now know are histamine based

-Tried to talk to my doctor about getting off several times

-Finally was told by my doctor to CT after she incorrectly assumed I "wouldn't have withdrawal"

Withdrawl period

Month 1- honestly not bad. Head pressure, dizzyness kinda thought it would resolve

Month 2- almost ended up in the hostpital for GERD, dehydration, low food intake

Month 3- slow crawl through histamine intolerance

Month 4- residual symptoms headache, tinnitus, sugar and caffiene sensitivity

 

I am now entering a phase of withdrawls where most of my symptoms have resolved. I have somewhat returned to normal in most regards. I struggle with caffiene and sugar sensitivity. I am eating small amounts of fruit for my sugar and I drink almost no caffiene. I am really into exercising and most of my hobbies are fitness related. This has been the biggest difficulty for me as working out has been really really hard. If I overexert myself I get really bad withdrawl symptoms. At month 4 I am now to a point where I can workout at a moderate intensity with little to no consequences. I feel like exercise has been one of the ways I cope with this recovery and it has helped me push forward.

 

I am still processing everything that has happened this past 4 months. I also am having to process a lot of emotions that I was avoiding during the pandemic and surrounding it. To anyone going through this I really leaned on my support group. It has really brought me closer to some of my friends and family. Their support is what has gotten me through some of the toughest times. I wouldnt have been as successful without them.

 

You all can do this! there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am looking forward to making another post in a few months and saying im 100% healed!

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It sounds like even though you’re not completely recovered, you’re in a good place and I’m glad.  It’s wonderful you’ve had the support of your family and friends and its great to know you’re able to exercise again, getting back to what we enjoy is so important.  Congratulations and I hope we’ll hear from you when you’re fully recovered.
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Congrats on your progress. I am so glad that you are doing well. I am in my fourth month coming off of Ativan and hoping to turn a corner soon.
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  • 1 month later...

Hi everyone, I am celebrating my 6 month annviersary of quitting Lorazepam this week. I have a progress log that I have been updating weekly and I told myself when I made it to 6 months I would write a success story. I ended up writing one at 4 months becasue I was feeling a lot better and I can now say that at 6 months I am feeling much much better. I was perscribed a low dose of lorazepam during covid for panic. I used it as needed and was able to take it for 2 years with a lot of success. Seemingly overnight I hit tolerance and my world crumbled under my feet. I dont like to go into detalis of the first months of withdrawls but it was very similar to everything you all have experienced. I ended up in urgent care and then went to a detox clinic. 6 months later I am drastically improved and feel like I am returning to myself.

 

This experience has been such a learning and growing experience for me. I have had to make peace with the feelings I had during covid which involved losing two family members in the span of four months. I have had to confront my anxiety and feelings of isolation. I changed therapists three times until I found one that clicked with me. I had to tell my work somewhat what was going on and ask for the space I needed to heal. I have had to lean on my friends and family which has brought me closer to some people and pushed some away for good.

 

I was an avid runner and training for my first traithlon when I hit tolerance. During withdrawls I was unable to run much less even go for walks. Even with that experience I knew that real recovery had to involve physical fitness as well and I began doing yoga. I credit yoga and swimming for so much of my healing and well being. Sometimes I was so sick I would just go float in the pool just to calm down. With each workout or yoga session I would feel myself grow incrementially stronger. I started hiking and walking which I called my "anxiety walks" when I felt sick and they would make me feel better. 6 months  later I have just now joined a recreational soccer league and play once a week. I run one other day a week, do yoga, and lift weights twice a week. I was so scared sometimes that I would never be able to workout again.

 

Food was a big struggle throughout withdrawls and I had serious histamine intolerance. I went through the holiday season without being able to eat many of the comfort foods I enjoy. I am still not completley healed from this but I am really really close. I can eat almost anything I want but I still try to regulate my sweets and caffiene. I have had a lot of success in this last phase of recovery with pepcid in controlling my histmaine symptoms. I dont take it every day but I will take it after a hefty meal and it helps a lot. I have had to change my relationship with food throughout this process as my appetite has been fickle and unreliable.

 

The last hurdle to overcome is acceptance that this happened. Accepting the denial by doctors that dont believe you. Acceptance that some of your friends wont take your pain seriously. And acceptance that you were hurt by a system designed to make money and not actually heal patients. I have started reading "The body keeps the score" for the first time and I was struck by a quote in the book.

 

"The drug revolution that started out with so much promise may in the end done as much harm as good. In many places drugs have displaced therapy and enabled patients to suppress their problems without addressing underlying issues. The brain disease model takes control over peoples fate out of their own hands and puts doctors and insurance companies in charge of fixing their problems."

 

The author goes on to describe that though antidipressants and other medications can slow down and stop self harm and agressive behavior, but they dont solve the problem. We are prescribing more antidipressants now than ever before and depression and anxiety are no where near being solved. I found this part of the book to be so relateable to my own experience. While I went to doctors looking for a cure, I was willing and able to really do anything. There is a perfectly good reason for my anxiety and if I had been told that I needed to go to therapy 3x a week I would have done it willingly. But I was instead given a drug and basically sent on my way. I had to reach out to get therapy on my own. I had to find yoga, and a support group and all of these things on my own.

 

In the end I still have healing to do but I am so much closer to the end now than I was 2 months ago. I still get brain fog, headaches, and sometimes the occasional nausea and dizzyness. BUT those days are coming to an end slowly. I see the light at the end of the tunnel for the first time and I am happy to be there. I now know from this experience that if something horrible comes my way I will overcome it. I dont need drugs or a numbing solution for my problems. Good luck everyone and heres to 6 more months of healing down the line. I hope to be back in at my 1 year anniversary with even better news.

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  • 1 month later...

Hi, I have been writing a success story in my head since I started this and I am ready to put something online. I am going to be very brief about my experience with Lorazepam because recounting the whole experience is still difficult for me. I am still processing all of it.

-I started a low dose 2.5mg lorazepam during the pandemic for anxiety, insomnia, and panic

-I took it about 1x per week for a year

-in the second year my frequency of doses creeped up until I reached about 3x per week.

-I hit tolerance about 6months ago and started having bizzarre symptoms that I now know are histamine based

-Tried to talk to my doctor about getting off several times

-Finally was told by my doctor to CT after she incorrectly assumed I "wouldn't have withdrawal"

Withdrawl period

Month 1- honestly not bad. Head pressure, dizzyness kinda thought it would resolve

Month 2- almost ended up in the hostpital for GERD, dehydration, low food intake

Month 3- slow crawl through histamine intolerance

Month 4- residual symptoms headache, tinnitus, sugar and caffiene sensitivity

 

I am now entering a phase of withdrawls where most of my symptoms have resolved. I have somewhat returned to normal in most regards. I struggle with caffiene and sugar sensitivity. I am eating small amounts of fruit for my sugar and I drink almost no caffiene. I am really into exercising and most of my hobbies are fitness related. This has been the biggest difficulty for me as working out has been really really hard. If I overexert myself I get really bad withdrawl symptoms. At month 4 I am now to a point where I can workout at a moderate intensity with little to no consequences. I feel like exercise has been one of the ways I cope with this recovery and it has helped me push forward.

 

I am still processing everything that has happened this past 4 months. I also am having to process a lot of emotions that I was avoiding during the pandemic and surrounding it. To anyone going through this I really leaned on my support group. It has really brought me closer to some of my friends and family. Their support is what has gotten me through some of the toughest times. I wouldnt have been as successful without them.

 

You all can do this! there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am looking forward to making another post in a few months and saying im 100% healed!

 

Hi Friend,

I just want to say your post was what I needed today to have hope. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. I appreciate you and your courage. Congratulations on your immense sucess and being a guiding light to many of us. So much love, F

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  • 4 months later...

One Year anniversary update! :clap:

I have been excited about hitting my one year anniversary since day one of my CT. I am so happy to be here and so grateful for the progress. I can honestly say that without a doubt I am 95% healed from withdrawals. My healing went very 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. I never felt like I was making progress until I looked backwards several months and realized how far I had come. 

-Months 0-3- awful

-Months 4-6 basically no change, still having food sensitivity, some insomnia that comes and goes, experiencing waves

-Months 6-8 Big improvement over months 4-6, now able to exercise moderately but no cardio. experiencing more windows than waves

-Months- 8-12 food sensitivity gradually disappeared. one or two waves only 

I went to the doctor for my yearly exam and I had blood work done. I was really curious to see how it would look after a year. My initial blood work during the peak of my withdrawal in month 2 was all over the place. I had high white blood cells, I was severely dehydrated and I was showing other signs of inflammation. I can now proudly say that my blood work is back to normal. 

I have used this good news as a catalyst to start running again. I have been doing some swimming regularly and weightlifting. But I have been keeping it light and easy. I decided to try to run again and am gradually increasing my mileage. I am up to a whopping .75 miles 2x per week! I am proud of that progress but man am I sore. I didn't think it would hurt so bad to start running again after so many months off. 

Residual symptoms

I have some very mild food sensitivity and I still feel the "head pressure" weird feelings after doing strenuous exercise or having a lot of sugar. The big difference now is that its just pressure and not pain. I rarely get headaches and when I do they are mild, not the ear splitting, nauseating, debilitating kind. I am still off caffeine and alcohol and I am not sure when I will try that again. I miss a glass of wine here and there and am considering testing the waters soon. 

I am very happy to be here and wish everyone the best of luck! There is an end in sight and its so much more wonderful and amazing than you ever could have imagined. Hang in there and keep it up. 

 

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On 28/08/2023 at 18:27, [[s...] said:

One Year anniversary update! :clap:

I have been excited about hitting my one year anniversary since day one of my CT. I am so happy to be here and so grateful for the progress. I can honestly say that without a doubt I am 95% healed from withdrawals. My healing went very 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. I never felt like I was making progress until I looked backwards several months and realized how far I had come. 

-Months 0-3- awful

-Months 4-6 basically no change, still having food sensitivity, some insomnia that comes and goes, experiencing waves

-Months 6-8 Big improvement over months 4-6, now able to exercise moderately but no cardio. experiencing more windows than waves

-Months- 8-12 food sensitivity gradually disappeared. one or two waves only 

I went to the doctor for my yearly exam and I had blood work done. I was really curious to see how it would look after a year. My initial blood work during the peak of my withdrawal in month 2 was all over the place. I had high white blood cells, I was severely dehydrated and I was showing other signs of inflammation. I can now proudly say that my blood work is back to normal. 

I have used this good news as a catalyst to start running again. I have been doing some swimming regularly and weightlifting. But I have been keeping it light and easy. I decided to try to run again and am gradually increasing my mileage. I am up to a whopping .75 miles 2x per week! I am proud of that progress but man am I sore. I didn't think it would hurt so bad to start running again after so many months off. 

Residual symptoms

I have some very mild food sensitivity and I still feel the "head pressure" weird feelings after doing strenuous exercise or having a lot of sugar. The big difference now is that its just pressure and not pain. I rarely get headaches and when I do they are mild, not the ear splitting, nauseating, debilitating kind. I am still off caffeine and alcohol and I am not sure when I will try that again. I miss a glass of wine here and there and am considering testing the waters soon. 

I am very happy to be here and wish everyone the best of luck! There is an end in sight and its so much more wonderful and amazing than you ever could have imagined. Hang in there and keep it up. 

so inspiring! this gives me hope. Thank you for coming back! 

Edited by [pe...]
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Congratulations on 95% recovered, thats great news. Thank you for coming back here with update's, they are so important for those following in your footsteps.  Your story will inspire others who are struggling, we are so thankful for these success stories.

On 29/08/2023 at 00:27, [[s...] said:

I never felt like I was making progress until I looked backwards several months and realized how far I had come. 

It's good that you can see it for yourself, we usual rely on others to tell us we are getting better, sometimes we don't see it.

I wish you the very best for your future, and I hope you will be back soon with the other 5% recovered.

Magrita:smitten:

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  • 5 months later...

15 Month update!

Well I really wasn’t planning on coming back to write another update but it looks like there was more healing in the cards for me. On my last 1 year update I noted that I was 95% better. Well that wasn’t really true. Sometime around November or December I just woke up one day and felt amazing. Like a huge weight I had been carrying around got lifted off my shoulders. It’s so hard to describe it but I literally started crying because I felt so good. I think this is one of those situations where “you dont know how bad you feel till you feel good” type of things. I just started feeling really great. 

Since then I have had several months of feeling what I am now calling “normal”. I decided to have my first glass of wine on Christmas and try it out. I felt fine that night and the next day but about 48 hours later I was hit with a huge symptom wave. Many of the symptoms I hadnt seen in 4 months or more came back. I had brain fog, racing heart, insomnia, nausea the works. This went on for almost 4 weeks. I knew it was the benzo withdrawals but I had no idea that alcohol could trigger such a serious wave. (Also a year later?) I was really starting to feel depressed and then one night I went to bed and woke up fine again. The wave had passed. 

So I guess I am not out of the woods. I don’t know how long I will need to stay away from alcohol. I would say that most of the time I feel really good. I am working out, I am sleeping well. I get 1-2 headaches a month, usually around my period. I have some lingering issues with sleep. I go through bouts of time where I have muscle spasms in my sleep or I get up in the night. But I was struggling with that before benzodiazepines. It was one of the reasons I started taking them anyway. 

I will say that the healing continues. I feel so much more amazing than my last update. I feel like I am getting back to myself. I laugh now like really laugh. Deep aching laughs that I haven’t felt in over a year. I also cry more, I never cried when I was taking lorazepam. It’s like it stopped up that part of me. I want to do things, go out and see friends. I want to dance and run around and have a good time. I feel like my joy has returned to me. It’s so crazy how the drug saps your joy away. It may cure your anxiety but it takes something from you in exchange. 

I just want everyone to know that you made the right choice to get off the drug. And also there is no shame in needing help through this process. I have been in therapy the whole time and it has been essential to my progress. 

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[Pa...]

I'm so happy to hear you recovered after drinking the wine, I was afraid you were still suffering, so glad that's not the case.  

I'm thrilled you've found joy again, and can laugh!  Thank you for coming back to share your story with us, you know how important it is for people who can't see past their pain. :smitten:

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[Re...]
On 29/02/2024 at 06:59, [[s...] said:

15 Month update!

Well I really wasn’t planning on coming back to write another update but it looks like there was more healing in the cards for me. On my last 1 year update I noted that I was 95% better. Well that wasn’t really true. Sometime around November or December I just woke up one day and felt amazing. Like a huge weight I had been carrying around got lifted off my shoulders. It’s so hard to describe it but I literally started crying because I felt so good. I think this is one of those situations where “you dont know how bad you feel till you feel good” type of things. I just started feeling really great. 

Since then I have had several months of feeling what I am now calling “normal”. I decided to have my first glass of wine on Christmas and try it out. I felt fine that night and the next day but about 48 hours later I was hit with a huge symptom wave. Many of the symptoms I hadnt seen in 4 months or more came back. I had brain fog, racing heart, insomnia, nausea the works. This went on for almost 4 weeks. I knew it was the benzo withdrawals but I had no idea that alcohol could trigger such a serious wave. (Also a year later?) I was really starting to feel depressed and then one night I went to bed and woke up fine again. The wave had passed. 

So I guess I am not out of the woods. I don’t know how long I will need to stay away from alcohol. I would say that most of the time I feel really good. I am working out, I am sleeping well. I get 1-2 headaches a month, usually around my period. I have some lingering issues with sleep. I go through bouts of time where I have muscle spasms in my sleep or I get up in the night. But I was struggling with that before benzodiazepines. It was one of the reasons I started taking them anyway. 

I will say that the healing continues. I feel so much more amazing than my last update. I feel like I am getting back to myself. I laugh now like really laugh. Deep aching laughs that I haven’t felt in over a year. I also cry more, I never cried when I was taking lorazepam. It’s like it stopped up that part of me. I want to do things, go out and see friends. I want to dance and run around and have a good time. I feel like my joy has returned to me. It’s so crazy how the drug saps your joy away. It may cure your anxiety but it takes something from you in exchange. 

I just want everyone to know that you made the right choice to get off the drug. And also there is no shame in needing help through this process. I have been in therapy the whole time and it has been essential to my progress. 

"I just want everyone to know that you made the right choice to get off the drug."

THIS ^^^^^^^^

I am so so happy that you feel so much better. Thank you for this post.

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[Wa...]

Thank you so much for taking the time to post this.   I have had exactly the same experience as you - trying a glass of wine as an ‘experiment’,  then getting a reaction later on  (I did not make the connection at first because I felt fine the next day).   Good to know it is not just me.  At 15 months off intermittent lorazepam the worst is definitely over, I am broadly ‘functional’ again, but worry that my zest for life will ever return.  So good to hear that it does!   

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