Author Topic: Lorazepam Free  (Read 2653 times)

[Buddie]

Lorazepam Free
« on: January 18, 2023, 03:01:00 am »
Hi, I have been writing a success story in my head since I started this and I am ready to put something online. I am going to be very brief about my experience with Lorazepam because recounting the whole experience is still difficult for me. I am still processing all of it.
-I started a low dose 2.5mg lorazepam during the pandemic for anxiety, insomnia, and panic
-I took it about 1x per week for a year
-in the second year my frequency of doses creeped up until I reached about 3x per week.
-I hit tolerance about 6months ago and started having bizzarre symptoms that I now know are histamine based
-Tried to talk to my doctor about getting off several times
-Finally was told by my doctor to CT after she incorrectly assumed I "wouldn't have withdrawal"
Withdrawl period
Month 1- honestly not bad. Head pressure, dizzyness kinda thought it would resolve
Month 2- almost ended up in the hostpital for GERD, dehydration, low food intake
Month 3- slow crawl through histamine intolerance
Month 4- residual symptoms headache, tinnitus, sugar and caffiene sensitivity

I am now entering a phase of withdrawls where most of my symptoms have resolved. I have somewhat returned to normal in most regards. I struggle with caffiene and sugar sensitivity. I am eating small amounts of fruit for my sugar and I drink almost no caffiene. I am really into exercising and most of my hobbies are fitness related. This has been the biggest difficulty for me as working out has been really really hard. If I overexert myself I get really bad withdrawl symptoms. At month 4 I am now to a point where I can workout at a moderate intensity with little to no consequences. I feel like exercise has been one of the ways I cope with this recovery and it has helped me push forward.

I am still processing everything that has happened this past 4 months. I also am having to process a lot of emotions that I was avoiding during the pandemic and surrounding it. To anyone going through this I really leaned on my support group. It has really brought me closer to some of my friends and family. Their support is what has gotten me through some of the toughest times. I wouldnt have been as successful without them.

You all can do this! there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am looking forward to making another post in a few months and saying im 100% healed!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Lorazepam Free
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2023, 02:03:42 am »
It sounds like even though youíre not completely recovered, youíre in a good place and Iím glad.  Itís wonderful youíve had the support of your family and friends and its great to know youíre able to exercise again, getting back to what we enjoy is so important.  Congratulations and I hope weíll hear from you when youíre fully recovered.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Lorazepam Free
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2023, 05:13:53 pm »
Congrats! Thanks for the hope!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Lorazepam Free
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2023, 05:24:47 pm »
Congrats on your progress. I am so glad that you are doing well. I am in my fourth month coming off of Ativan and hoping to turn a corner soon.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Lorazepam Free
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2023, 04:28:58 pm »
Hi everyone, I am celebrating my 6 month annviersary of quitting Lorazepam this week. I have a progress log that I have been updating weekly and I told myself when I made it to 6 months I would write a success story. I ended up writing one at 4 months becasue I was feeling a lot better and I can now say that at 6 months I am feeling much much better. I was perscribed a low dose of lorazepam during covid for panic. I used it as needed and was able to take it for 2 years with a lot of success. Seemingly overnight I hit tolerance and my world crumbled under my feet. I dont like to go into detalis of the first months of withdrawls but it was very similar to everything you all have experienced. I ended up in urgent care and then went to a detox clinic. 6 months later I am drastically improved and feel like I am returning to myself.

This experience has been such a learning and growing experience for me. I have had to make peace with the feelings I had during covid which involved losing two family members in the span of four months. I have had to confront my anxiety and feelings of isolation. I changed therapists three times until I found one that clicked with me. I had to tell my work somewhat what was going on and ask for the space I needed to heal. I have had to lean on my friends and family which has brought me closer to some people and pushed some away for good.

I was an avid runner and training for my first traithlon when I hit tolerance. During withdrawls I was unable to run much less even go for walks. Even with that experience I knew that real recovery had to involve physical fitness as well and I began doing yoga. I credit yoga and swimming for so much of my healing and well being. Sometimes I was so sick I would just go float in the pool just to calm down. With each workout or yoga session I would feel myself grow incrementially stronger. I started hiking and walking which I called my "anxiety walks" when I felt sick and they would make me feel better. 6 months  later I have just now joined a recreational soccer league and play once a week. I run one other day a week, do yoga, and lift weights twice a week. I was so scared sometimes that I would never be able to workout again.

Food was a big struggle throughout withdrawls and I had serious histamine intolerance. I went through the holiday season without being able to eat many of the comfort foods I enjoy. I am still not completley healed from this but I am really really close. I can eat almost anything I want but I still try to regulate my sweets and caffiene. I have had a lot of success in this last phase of recovery with pepcid in controlling my histmaine symptoms. I dont take it every day but I will take it after a hefty meal and it helps a lot. I have had to change my relationship with food throughout this process as my appetite has been fickle and unreliable.

The last hurdle to overcome is acceptance that this happened. Accepting the denial by doctors that dont believe you. Acceptance that some of your friends wont take your pain seriously. And acceptance that you were hurt by a system designed to make money and not actually heal patients. I have started reading "The body keeps the score" for the first time and I was struck by a quote in the book.

"The drug revolution that started out with so much promise may in the end done as much harm as good. In many places drugs have displaced therapy and enabled patients to suppress their problems without addressing underlying issues. The brain disease model takes control over peoples fate out of their own hands and puts doctors and insurance companies in charge of fixing their problems."

The author goes on to describe that though antidipressants and other medications can slow down and stop self harm and agressive behavior, but they dont solve the problem. We are prescribing more antidipressants now than ever before and depression and anxiety are no where near being solved. I found this part of the book to be so relateable to my own experience. While I went to doctors looking for a cure, I was willing and able to really do anything. There is a perfectly good reason for my anxiety and if I had been told that I needed to go to therapy 3x a week I would have done it willingly. But I was instead given a drug and basically sent on my way. I had to reach out to get therapy on my own. I had to find yoga, and a support group and all of these things on my own.

In the end I still have healing to do but I am so much closer to the end now than I was 2 months ago. I still get brain fog, headaches, and sometimes the occasional nausea and dizzyness. BUT those days are coming to an end slowly. I see the light at the end of the tunnel for the first time and I am happy to be there. I now know from this experience that if something horrible comes my way I will overcome it. I dont need drugs or a numbing solution for my problems. Good luck everyone and heres to 6 more months of healing down the line. I hope to be back in at my 1 year anniversary with even better news.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Lorazepam Free
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2023, 05:23:57 pm »
Congratulations. You are very lucky.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Lorazepam Free
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2023, 01:05:33 am »
Hi, I have been writing a success story in my head since I started this and I am ready to put something online. I am going to be very brief about my experience with Lorazepam because recounting the whole experience is still difficult for me. I am still processing all of it.
-I started a low dose 2.5mg lorazepam during the pandemic for anxiety, insomnia, and panic
-I took it about 1x per week for a year
-in the second year my frequency of doses creeped up until I reached about 3x per week.
-I hit tolerance about 6months ago and started having bizzarre symptoms that I now know are histamine based
-Tried to talk to my doctor about getting off several times
-Finally was told by my doctor to CT after she incorrectly assumed I "wouldn't have withdrawal"
Withdrawl period
Month 1- honestly not bad. Head pressure, dizzyness kinda thought it would resolve
Month 2- almost ended up in the hostpital for GERD, dehydration, low food intake
Month 3- slow crawl through histamine intolerance
Month 4- residual symptoms headache, tinnitus, sugar and caffiene sensitivity

I am now entering a phase of withdrawls where most of my symptoms have resolved. I have somewhat returned to normal in most regards. I struggle with caffiene and sugar sensitivity. I am eating small amounts of fruit for my sugar and I drink almost no caffiene. I am really into exercising and most of my hobbies are fitness related. This has been the biggest difficulty for me as working out has been really really hard. If I overexert myself I get really bad withdrawl symptoms. At month 4 I am now to a point where I can workout at a moderate intensity with little to no consequences. I feel like exercise has been one of the ways I cope with this recovery and it has helped me push forward.

I am still processing everything that has happened this past 4 months. I also am having to process a lot of emotions that I was avoiding during the pandemic and surrounding it. To anyone going through this I really leaned on my support group. It has really brought me closer to some of my friends and family. Their support is what has gotten me through some of the toughest times. I wouldnt have been as successful without them.

You all can do this! there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am looking forward to making another post in a few months and saying im 100% healed!

Hi Friend,
I just want to say your post was what I needed today to have hope. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. I appreciate you and your courage. Congratulations on your immense sucess and being a guiding light to many of us. So much love, F
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.