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Been holding at 11mg Valium for almost a month now. Terrible Insomnia has not left me since my failed rapid taper in September. That is main symptom that is debilitating. Tapering off Trazodone as it doesn’t work on 75mg about to drop to 50mg. Have taken remeron 7.5mg 2-3 evenings in last 2 weeks and helps a little bit. I was thinking of medical detox as this is getting reallly rough and I’m holding. I assume I need to take remeron as needed and continue to hold at 11mg Valium? Just need some positive words since my failed rapid taper. I should have jumped then when insomnia hit at 2.5mg in hindsight as insomnia has not left me since. I am very sad and have a little boy and pregnant wife..
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I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I understand how hard this can be and I totally get the sadness. I also have a wife and two kids. My heart breaks for all of us going through this crap that should've been avoided had we been told about the risks of these drugs.

 

I would try to stabilize where you are and then begin a slow taper at a rate of 5 to 10% every two to four weeks. Medical detox does not work well for benzos. They take you off way too fast and leave you to fend for yourself at home, fighting a dizzying array of symptoms with no help. Unfortunately there is no easy way off these things.

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Do you think if I’ve only taken 3 doses of 7.5mg Remeron in 2 weeks I am ok to discontinue or use occasionally? I guess I’m hoping after 3 doses I’m not dependent…
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Been holding at 11mg Valium for almost a month now. Terrible Insomnia has not left me since my failed rapid taper in September. That is main symptom that is debilitating. Tapering off Trazodone as it doesn’t work on 75mg about to drop to 50mg. Have taken remeron 7.5mg 2-3 evenings in last 2 weeks and helps a little bit. I was thinking of medical detox as this is getting reallly rough and I’m holding. I assume I need to take remeron as needed and continue to hold at 11mg Valium? Just need some positive words since my failed rapid taper. I should have jumped then when insomnia hit at 2.5mg in hindsight as insomnia has not left me since. I am very sad and have a little boy and pregnant wife..

 

I completely agree with hereforhelp… It really can take quite some time to stabilise after putting yourself through a fast taper (it’s much like trying to stabilise from a c/t) and the hardest thing (while suffering intensely) is to have the patience to just hold your dose and trust that symptoms will most likely, gradually begin to settle over time. In many cases, 1 month isn’t long enough to re-stabilise. On a personal level, the best thing I did after a c/t, reinstatement, holding for one month, and then initially tapering too much, too fast, was to eventually hold for 13 weeks and then begin reductions at 5% fortnightly. It all became much more tolerable after the long hold and change to my reductions. Sleep does return, but it’s all about regaining and then maintaining stabilisation while following a sensible and patient taper. If only we all went into this with patience, but it often seems to be something most of us have to learn the hard way. Oh, and I didn’t notice the beginning of my move towards stabilisation until after about 7-8 weeks, and it was a gradual process from there on until at 13 weeks I felt completely ready to begin moving forward with a much more sensible taper again.

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Thank you all so much for your responses. I will plan to hold until severe insomnia subsides or at least don’t have several nights of 0 sleep per week… I will worry about tapering again at later date. My wife is due with our 2nd child 2/25/23.  I have been taking unisom, melatonin, cbd oil no thc, and 75mg Trazodone recently. Had decent night of sleep (10:30-5) two nights ago but reverted back to maybe maybe 1-2 hrs of very poor light dream after a 0 sleep night 3 nights ago. No rhyme or reason to pattern or if anything I’m helping may or may not be helping sleep. Probably need to get off all of it and just accept and stabilize.
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Its weird how members find a combination of sleep supplements that will work for a couple of days but then they stop, makes me wonder if its all just the randomness of our symptoms instead of the miracle we think we've found.

 

You've probably already seen this, it has some great tips for our sleep situation, but the bottom line is acceptance that it will take what it takes. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=235100.0

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You can arrange your doses to fit your needs although I'm not sure if 3 mgs added to your evening dose will make much difference, I don't have experience with Valium. 
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Winters sun, I really appreciate your personal experience.  Was your main symptom for holding insomnia? I’ve been holding at 11mg Valium for 5 weeks and still taking 75mg Trazodone and 60mg baclofen (since late 2020). All medicines were prescribed for muscle spasm issues, which we never found answer to, but medicines worked until I had the failed rapid taper. Now the insomnia is the symptom that will not go away since I updosed back to 15mg from 2.5mg with no help from the updose. I continued to decrease through insomnia and have never stabilized.  I have now read enough on BB to know I at least need to hold. 5 weeks is long time and I don’t know what stabilizing is for insomnia… I know a lot of people get from cold Turkey and after slow taper. I just hope and pray my insomnia stabilizes as if it doesn’t I don’t know how I would continue the taper? I’m just really struggling and sad. Especially for my 6 yo son whom is my whole world (who doesn’t notice anything from Daddy yet) and my wonderful pregnant wife. Any positive words or personal experience would be so helpful right now after another sleepless night last night. I had been getting about 3 solid hours at least each night prior for about 5 days or so. Just so sad that my insomnia is so bad and I’m at 11mg of Valium.
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Hi FHL

 

So sorry this is taking such a toll on you, mentally, emotionally and physically. It’s so difficult on us when we can see others aren’t getting anywhere near the best of us. Please don’t blame or be upset with yourself for not being at your best for others in your life, especially your loved ones. You will come out the other side of this, so just do your best to maintain a clear, positive vision of the future beyond your present circumstances. I know it’s very difficult, because everything drags from moment to moment when you are feeling so unwell and worn down, but just try and keep your mind away from those continuously endless thoughts about how you are feeling in each moment, and how you are possibly going to get though the moments, hours or days that follow. Just try and deal with each present moment as it arrives, and no more than that. This is basically what we are are forced in to learning to do through this experience.

 

I realised I had been very unstable for quite some time before holding for 13 weeks. I had terrible insomnia, crushing lethargy and fatigue, constant nightmares through what seemed to feel like a chemical induced sleep, that’s when I slept. Severely burning skin from head to toe, which I still do have to a certain degree, but not as bad. Depression and intense fear we’re probably the worst, as I couldn’t watch tv, read a book, or listen to my favourite music without perceiving an intense fear through everything. Mild to severe agoraphobia, and my gut had almost given up processing food. I felt terrible after eating as the energy it took to process food caused extreme fatigue and lethargy to the point where I had no option but to drag myself to bed for hours.

 

There were things I did that may or may not have helped the stabilisation process over that 13 weeks. I stopped eating anything processed and stuck to fresh vegetables, plain chicken breasts, Rolled oats with dragonfruit, blueberries, and unsweetened soy milk. Organic wholegrain spelt sourdough, and antibiotic free eggs, and that was basically my complete daily diet. Just as a matter of interest, my cholesterol actually dropped from 6.2 to 4.8 in just a few months. One of the other things I feel really helped with the depression and mental confusion was drinking (intermittently) at least 2 litres of water per day. I never realised how dehydrated I had become, and I think this is very common in benzodiazepine withdrawal. I think it really helped things along when I cleaned my diet right up, hydrated, and started taking longish walks regularly. But stabilisation was a very slow process, and I didn’t realise how unstable I actually was until I continued to allow time to play its role in gradually easing my symptoms. Letting go and allowing things to be the way they were (acceptance), also played a part in stabilisation, as our thoughts are connected to our emotions (and vice-versa), and they have such power in affecting our central nervous systems, which intensifies our symptoms.

 

My sleep did come back, but it’s not like it used to be. It’s broken, and I can’t guarantee when I will get to sleep, but as long as I have the option to sleep late (if need be) I’m ok, and generally I get about 4-6 hrs sleep, sometimes more if I’ve had a particularly poor sleep (or none at all) the night before.

 

I don’t have the same concerns as you… having those loved ones who depend on you with whom you’re unable to be fully present, which must be extremely difficult, but I do get the feeling of looking around and seeing that no one is getting anywhere near the best of me, and I can also see my life passing by and realise that I’m not really ‘living’ in the sense that I’m able to appreciate life the way I should be if it weren’t for the benzodiazepines. But we have to just allow things to be the way they are for the moment, and know that there is so much life to be truly lived on the other side of this. We will get there, FHL, I have no doubt!

 

I can only encourage you to focus on all aspects of your life, as I really do feel that covering all bases gives us the best chance of reaching stabilisation sooner. Just try not to take too much on if you’re not up to it at the moment, as doing so will overburden your central nervous system.

 

I don’t know how much any of what I have written here will help, but I hope you do get at least some encouragement from it.  :hug:

 

 

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Thank you so much for your reply! I obviously reached tolerance and my failed rapid taper sealed that deal as when I reinstated to 15mg again after failed rapid taper (didn’t know any better) the 15mg didn’t seem to change anything. I am at 11mg now however for 5 weeks so don’t see any reason to updose. Nor should I reduce yet, and probably need to listen to my body. Our newest baby arrives 2/25/23 so there is anxiety (and joy) around this arrival. Sleep will be hard to come by. Winter Sun, you seem to have similar situation… do you cut and hold still?
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Thank you so much for your reply! I obviously reached tolerance and my failed rapid taper sealed that deal as when I reinstated to 15mg again after failed rapid taper (didn’t know any better) the 15mg didn’t seem to change anything. I am at 11mg now however for 5 weeks so don’t see any reason to updose. Nor should I reduce yet, and probably need to listen to my body. Our newest baby arrives 2/25/23 so there is anxiety (and joy) around this arrival. Sleep will be hard to come by. Winter Sun, you seem to have similar situation… do you cut and hold still?

 

Yeah, I now just cut 5% and hold for a fortnight. It seems to work well for me.  :thumbsup:

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  • 2 weeks later...
Just looking for reassurance as I’ve been very sad today. I’m still holding at 11mg Valium, 60mg baclofen, and 75mg Trazodone per day. I have also been taking 2.5mg melatonin and 25mg unisom together at bed with slight success for a few weeks (light dream sleep 4-6 hours with interruptions, but still no deep sleep). I decided to cut the unisom in half and that still seemed to work for a couple days then I tried 2 nights in a row with no unisom and maybe slept 30 minutes in light dream both nights. I have got to get stable and do not know what to do as none of the prescription medications I am taking (Valium, baclofen and Trazodone) have any affect on me except for lifeline. I don’t know what to do. I have a baby coming and have to work. I can barely function with the 4-6 but the 0-2hrs I can’t function. I have been holding all prescription meds for 7 weeks yesterday. Any advice would be great. I don’t even know what medicine to get rid of first but do know I will need to sleep 4-6 to get through. Thank you so much for listening and any solid advice I can get. I don’t have anywhere else to turn. My failed rapid taper after a couple previous c/t has put me in really bad spot I feel. Maybe just keeping taking the unisom for now if it is helping?
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Only symptom that bothers me. 3mg morning, 8mg evening. Feel the same after both doses. Thank you so much for trying to help me. The baclofen I have to dose 3 times per day due to short half life.
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Only symptom that bothers me. 3mg morning, 8mg evening. Feel the same after both doses. Thank you so much for trying to help me. The baclofen I have to dose 3 times per day due to short half life.

 

Hi FHL

 

So, it seems you’ve been holding on that dose (11mg) for 7 weeks now, but going over your signature, you really did (over a short period) reduce your dose by a very high percentage after already going through C/T’s and having to reinstate. I know this isn’t news to you, but it can take quite some time and suffering before stabilising again. I wish I could offer you a quick fix for your insomnia, but I feel like the only advise I can offer is to monitor and rate your insomnia and quality of any sleep out of 10 every day. Write it down so you can see if there’s any slight improvement from week to week. I feel if you can detect a slight improvement along the way by monitoring and journaling your sleep, it will help you trust the stabilisation process, which will then help calm your CNS, which in turn will help you further stabilise and improve your sleep.

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Thank you so much for your reply. I read the thread and very sorry for their suffering as well. The difference that always bothers me is that person has jumped completely off benzos, and I’m still on 11mg valium and other medicines which is so disheartening. I’m sure I should not have reinstated in October, but I did as I did not know any better.  When I reinstated it never helped. So now I have just slowed down and not changed anything for 7 weeks. I took half a unisom again last night and it helped me get the 4-6 hrs of broken dream sleep again I guess. If I take just Trazodone and a little melatonin I don’t seem to get much of any sleep.  Should I continue to just hold and take the unisom since it seems to help me right now?  I just don’t know what to do. Part of me (probably irrational) wants to get off these medicines quickly since I’m still not sleeping so I can start to heal. Just very sad. And so worried about my wife and family with baby coming. Thank you so much for taking time to always support and help me. 
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Thank you so much for your reply. I read the thread and very sorry for their suffering as well. The difference that always bothers me is that person has jumped completely off benzos, and I’m still on 11mg valium and other medicines which is so disheartening. I’m sure I should not have reinstated in October, but I did as I did not know any better.  When I reinstated it never helped. So now I have just slowed down and not changed anything for 7 weeks. I took half a unisom again last night and it helped me get the 4-6 hrs of broken dream sleep again I guess. If I take just Trazodone and a little melatonin I don’t seem to get much of any sleep.  Should I continue to just hold and take the unisom since it seems to help me right now?  I just don’t know what to do. Part of me (probably irrational) wants to get off these medicines quickly since I’m still not sleeping so I can start to heal. Just very sad. And so worried about my wife and family with baby coming. Thank you so much for taking time to always support and help me.

 

The thing about a c/t or fast taper is that at this point, you are unaware of the amount and intensity of symptoms you would most likely experience if you allow impatience to get the better of you. I too wish I had pushed through my c/t after relatively short term use, but I reinstated and then had to come to terms with my decision, which I have, and I do know I’m doing the right thing. I had to reach a place of acceptance and gradually, I also became conditioned to feeling symptomatic and unwell, which has made this process much easier. You will find that place of acceptance and become conditioned to your experience also, and it will change your withdrawal experience for the better, I promise. At the moment, your main symptom concern is insomnia, and although I know this can be terribly draining, I am glad you’re not experiencing a combination of many of the other potentially horrid symptoms. Just try and keep your anxiety at a minimum by trying not to focus on how difficult the future will be with a new baby if you’re not sleeping. Projecting what you’re experiencing now (into the future) will exacerbate the anxiety surrounding the insomnia and push sleep further away from you. The answer is never ‘more’ thought, it’s ‘less’ thought, so just deal with one night at a time, and just try and trust that things will gradually improve with time. I’m not actually familiar with unisom, but maybe other members are, so hopefully someone familiar with it can weigh in. For nor now, just try and focus on keeping your thoughts as calm as possible, as this will give you the best chance of getting more sleep.

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Thank you so much for the words.  So your advice would be to just not change anything basically for awhile longer?  I assume if the 1/2 unison tab is helping me sleep, I should keep taking it at this point?  At this point with the baby coming, I don't know if I should hold everything until after this big life event on 2/25/23.  I also feel as if I should get off the Baclofen first through a possibly 5mg a week taper and slow down if needed.  I have to dose this medicine 3 times per day.  This would just leave me with the Valium taper and Trazodone taper after that.  The Trazodone was prescribed for sleep help and never seemed to work really on it's own.  I started at 50mg around Oct.1 and increased to 100mg around Oct. 8, 2022 after failed taper and have since reduced to 75 mg around 12/1/22 since wasn't working anyways.  But from what I've read, I'm not stuck on this medicine as well since I've been on for 3 months.  Any advice would be great, and I am not holding anyone responsible for any advice given obviously.  Just really respect opinions of members on this forum.  Just haven't read much on anyone with this level of insomnia still on this much medicine and holding for 7 weeks.  I doubt updosing would work, and if it did I feel it would have to be a major updose.  In addition, I've been holding for 7 weeks.  I made it through 3 weeks of rapid taper without insomnia or major symptoms, but once it hit at 2.5mg of Valium for 6 days and frightened me (up wide eyed all night for first time in my life), then re-instated back to original prescribed 15mg Valium very next day and it did nothing for me...
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I think if I were in your position, I would just focus on allowing time to do its thing. If the baby is due on feb 25th, this gives you about 7 weeks. Over that 7 weeks, I certainly wouldn’t be changing too much. I would just do whatever I could to relax my mind and continue to allow my CNS to settle down and hopefully sleep will gradually improve over that time. If insomnia is a real problem at the moment, I wouldn’t be changing too much in regard to my other medications, as all these potential changes/tapers will have an affect on your sleep. We taper medications much more successfully, and with much less suffering when we are actually stabile, so I would just use this next 7 weeks to allow yourself to stabilise further, after all, you have been through a couple of c/t’s and an extremely over-aggressive taper. The fact that insomnia is the only symptom that really affects or bothers you, makes me think that in all likelihood, your sleep should gradually improve over that extra time, but don’t expect it to be the normal sleep you once had. I’m stabile now, but a normal night sleep for me is between 4-6 hrs, possibly 7 on the very odd occasion. It is quite a broken sleep, however, you do become conditioned to it, just as you do with the overall withdrawal process. I’m not familiar with the other medications you’re taking, but if you’re changing doses or tapering these medications, it only makes sense to me that it will have an adverse affect on your sleep, so I would just hold your doses where they are and see if your sleep gradually improves over the next several weeks.
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Thank you so much Winters sun.  I will hold prescription medications.  What would you (or anyone else) recommend regarding the 2.5mg melatonin, 12.5mg doxylamine succinate (1/2 unisom tab), and 50mg CBN (no THC) gummy I have been taking at night to sleep?  It seems these 3 combined give me sleep most of the time for the past few weeks (4-6 broken hours).  Just don't know of long term side affects on 12.5mg doxylamine succinate (half tab) per day for a while.  Sleep is important to me however, and I am able to function to a degree, work and be there for my family better.  The 2 nights I didn't take the 1/2 tab unisom Sunday and Monday night, I didn't really sleep any.
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Thank you so much Winters sun.  I will hold prescription medications.  What would you (or anyone else) recommend regarding the 2.5mg melatonin, 12.5mg doxylamine succinate (1/2 unisom tab), and 50mg CBN (no THC) gummy I have been taking at night to sleep?  It seems these 3 combined give me sleep most of the time for the past few weeks (4-6 broken hours).  Just don't know of long term side affects on 12.5mg doxylamine succinate (half tab) per day for a while.  Sleep is important to me however, and I am able to function to a degree, work and be there for my family better.  The 2 nights I didn't take the 1/2 tab unisom Sunday and Monday night, I didn't really sleep any.

 

You’re very welcome!

 

I have melatonin here, but I found that it only worked the first night and possibly (to a lesser degree) the second night, so I don’t really bother with it anymore. However, it may work for me if I use it only very sparingly. My own personal opinion is that we should use whatever works and disregard whatever doesn’t, but we also have to be extremely careful, and educate ourselves about any supplemental medication. With melatonin (I don’t know if this is true), but I read that if you keep taking melatonin, you will eventually stop creating melatonin naturally, and that scared me enough to be wary and decide to only use it sparingly… whenever sleep got too far out of control. As I said, it’s very possible it’s not true at all, but we should consider all potential pitfalls of using various supplements and medications. In regard to the unisom and the CBN gummy, I think you would be wise to post on the Other Medications Board to see what other members have to say about them. You may get more replies and informed feedback there. You just want to be informed about potential downsides or problems with these medications.  :thumbsup:

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  • 1 month later...
Just an update on this thread...mainly for others who search the forum.  I am better stabilizing on the 7.5mg Mirtazapine after getting off the Trazodone fairly quickly.  I wish I hadn't felt the need to add another medication but holding alone did not seem to be sustainable to function.  I have also been holding the 11mg valium for 3.5 months which also seems to be helping.  It has required extreme patience and hope.  I am not sleeping great however much better.  My wife just had 2nd child last week, and I was able to be present and it also has given me something else to fight for.  I plan to start the valium taper again in near future when I feel my stabilization "plateaus".  For now, I seem to be (non-linearly) improving/stabilizing so will hold for a bit longer and baby girl has only been on the ground for 1 week.  The cortisol/histamine/adrenaline surges all seem to be improving as result of holding the valium and/or adding the 7.5mg Mirt.  My next taper plan is to cut to 10.5mg valium (a 4.5% reduction) and hold for at least 2 weeks.
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