Three months free after 25 years of Xanax use

[[Buddie]]

I took my last dose of Xanax three months ago today and I feel great. I was prescribed this medication about 25 years ago and have taken it regularly ever since, only stopping twice for a week and then once for 3 months because of a stay at a drug rehab. The prescription was for three .5 Xanax pills a day.
I won't go into the whole story but what I will say is that a long, slow taper does work, and (from what I've experienced) the brain does heal.
My taper lasted almost an entire year. By the time I was finished taking Xanax I was breaking a 0.5 mg pill into 25 pieces and weighing the crumbs. I would partially empty out milk thistle capsules and put the Xanax in them. This made it so that I could carry the pills around during the day without weighing them each time.
The taper was awful. I felt sick constantly for an entire year and couldn't tell anyone what I was going through. Nobody knew I took this drug and I wanted to keep it that way.
My advice would be to take it very very slowly if at all possible. I didn't tell my doctor I was tapering off because I was afraid she would stop prescribing it for me, so I was lucky to have the luxury of time.
One thing I will say about this site is it made me fear taking that last dose. I thought I would go through the entire taper then once I took my last dose I would be hit with a wall of withdrawal symptoms. That never happened. It was such a slow and gradual withdrawal that by the time I finished taking it there were no more symptoms left. It's been 3 months and I don't feel perfect but I do feel great. I still have tinnitus and occasionally my body will heat up to the point that my skin turns red and I will break out in a nervous sweat, but that comes and goes.
I feel absolutely free! Sometimes I have to just stop and remember what it was like to be a slave to this horrible medication... Taking it every few hours every single day. Ugh it makes me sick to think about it.
The reason I needed to stop, by the way, is that Xanax ruined my ability to swallow properly and my memory is almost gone. I don't recall a lot of the last 25 years and I'm starting to forget what I'm saying right in the middle of a sentence.
To anyone reading this, I hope you find the strength within yourself to go through this process so that you can come out free on the other side. Life is so much better over here.

[[Buddie]]

That's really good news.  I wish everyone would believe that they can get off the benzo's after so long and be alright.

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations!!!!  It is great to read people who heal!!  We need it. We only know the suffering and sacrifice we do.

Do you solve or relieve the swallowing problem?

Thank you for your post!!!

Leo

[[Buddie]]

Thanks for sharing your story! It gives me hope!

[[Buddie]]

I wish you will improve that issue. I think that time will solve it or improve at least like most people. Too many years consuming this drug. Congratulations!!! You are benzo free!!!

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations! Can I ask you if you had mental fatigue and brain fog? If yes when did they lift completely?

[[Buddie]]

Congrats. Welcome back.

[[Buddie]]

So happy for you Fly!  This is great news! 

I’m still waiting for my miracle. 20 years of Xanax as prescribed, 24 month taper and 2.5 years off and I’m still struggling daily!  I know we all have our own timetable for recovery and I’m still holding out hope that I will one day heal.

Thanks for sharing!

[[Buddie]]

Dear Hopper,
I just spent the morning reading through each one of your posts from the beginning.  While we don't share the same history (other than Xanax) or symptoms....I was wondering if you would want to be a benzo buddy of sorts.  I am a psychotherapist in Texas- -was put on Xanax initially following an adverse reaction to levaquin.  Had a mild dlmt taper off of Xanax since June of 2020 when I hit a wall in March (had to come off high powered supplements my doc had placed me on prior to taper) and I think it was masking symptoms plus potentiating the meds I was on (the company, hardy nutritionals, admitted to both)...so I have been in some form of acute withdrawal over the last two months.  I have moments where I can leave my house but they are fleeting.  My symptoms are mostly mental (depression worse in morning, intrusive thoughts, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, anxiety and internal agitation).   Unfortunately, my doc also put me on 15mg of remeron prior to my taper as when I had tried to come off myself and dropped too fast I stopped eating and sleeping.  that said, I was working and functional until the beginning of July.  I like the way you write, think and your attitude.  I am so very sorry that this has been a five year journey for you --- although I feel very certain the end is coming very near for you.   my thoughts are that our bodies are unique and each take a specific period of time to heal.  perhaps you are one that needs 5.5 or 6 years to heal.  time spent tapering is time served so there is your first 24 months -- then the years since coming off.  my benzo coach (after a forced CT and a truly brutal withdrawal) took 6.5 years to heal --- went from pacing 12 hours a day and out of his mind to now back to work.  you are very close.  for me, well I am scared.  I am now back up to 1mg of Xanax (myself and my family panicked and called a dear friend who is a head of psychiatry and we agreed to updose from .65 to 1mg) -- did this about twelve days ago.  I'm not worse - but I am not better.  I may have seen some slight small improvements but then yesterday went and got my first Pfizer shot and today has been really bad again with symptoms.   anyway, would love to keep in touch.......its hard for me to be on these boards lately other than success stories because I am so upset/anxous about the way my taper and health has turned on me in the last six weeks or so.   look forward to hearing from you!

[[Buddie]]

Wow, that is so awesome.  Thanks so much for taking the time to update. Congratulations and best wishes!