Been off Clonazepam for over a year! Healing!

[[Buddie]]

Hello Everyone,

I don't come here very often anymore but wanted to share my success story.  I have now been Benzo free for a little over a year and I am finally healing. 

My journey began in 2006 when I developed panic disorder, after several life tragedies, ending up in the ER after not sleeping for almost a week.  The Dr. put me on Clonazepam and it all went downhill from there.  Although the Clonazepam took away the panic attacks, I ended up taking it for 15 years and even though I had several Doctors through the years, not one of them told me about the side affects or tolerance that can develop from taking a Benzo that long.  It was only after I ended up experiencing a very bad case of vertigo and ended up out of work for 6-weeks, that I finally found answers as to what was wrong with me.  I went to the ER, and visited several specialists... nobody could expain why I had debilatating vertigo with nausea and vomiting that put me literally on my back for weeks.  After healing and not getting answers from the medical community I decided to do a lot of research into possible reasons for the illness. I finally read that Benzo's can cause vertigo, so with that hunch I was determined to get off the drug asap.

I tried to taper unsuccessfully three times cutting pills, etc and the withdrawals were too much for me.  That is when I found this forum.  I read and read everything on this site, found micro-tapering and was immediately drawn to it.  I thought to myself... if I can take liquid I can control the amount that I taper to a minimum and shouldn't experience withdrawals if I keep my tapering small.  I watched every Youtube video I could find, I read every post I could find and with the help of several people here (Builder is my hero) I developed my own personal tapering plan, bought the supplies and started my taper at the end of 2017.  The transition between taking the pill and drinking it as a liquid was probably the most difficult but once I got used to liquid it was easy.  I took only 0.25 ml's of liquid out of my daily dose (100 ml’s) and would hold according to symptoms until last year in February when I jumped off my last 0.5 ml's (0.0125 mg) of Clonazepam.   

I would never have been successful without this forum and the support that I recieved here in this place.  I am so thankful and grateful to all those who encouraged me with their own struggles and success stories.  I feel really good about successfully tapering and honestly believed that I would never be Benzo free but now I can say that just was not true.  I am glad that I didn't give up!

In all honesty, I did take a small dose of Mirtazapine at the very end of my taper because I wasn't sleeping very well, but I have weaned myself off that med using the same liquid method... it just didn't take as long.  So now... no more drugs!  Yeah!!

How do I feel?  I am feeling better and it did take awhile for me to start feeling like myself but little by little, month by month life started to become less "numb".  When I was taking the drug,  I felt like I was numb and sick for all those years and it felt weird to be off a drug that I believe changed so many things inside of me.  The taper was tedious and at times difficult but so very rewarding when I ended up at the finish line. I am so done with meds.  The Benzo ruined my marriage, my life and do many things and then the Mirtazapine made me gain about 30-pounds.  Those are things that remind me daily of the choices I made when agreeing to take those meds... but with those choices I did make the choice to get off of them and have gained valuable strength in tapering so if I can taper so can you!

With that said, I am wishing you all the best as you continue on your journey.  All I can say is... its not easy but one step turns into two and two steps into eight and before you know it you are at the end of the road.  Keep going and don't ever give up.... its doable and so worth it!   

Congrats [...]! I’m transitioning to liquid now and struggling. How long did it take you to stabilize on liquid? Whew. It’s rough! Wondering if I’m making the right decision or if I’ll ever be able to get off!

It took me about a month to settle into liquid... that was the hardest part..  stay with it and don’t give up.  If you have to... take half the pill in solid form and the other half liquid. You can do this taper any way you want... the slower the better. 

[[Buddie]]

Congrats [...]! Thanks for sharing your success story with us. I'm climbing down from 2mg K, down to 1.625 currently after a month and a half of tapering. Had some setbacks but still trucking. Your comment about benzos being bad for teeth was new for me; I wonder why. Thanks for sharing that.

It sounds like you did a water titration, dissolving your daily dose of 0.5mg in 100ml and tossing some? Was it as simple as that for you? Clonazepam doesn't dissolve well in water, so I'm really curious if you didn't also use ethanol or another solvent. I've been struggling to find a suspending liquid to use because I'm gut sensitive, but I'm nervous that clonazepam won't suspend long enough in water to do a DMT. Anything more you can share about your method would be really appreciated!

And I'm so happy for you! 

I used alcohol (everclear) only a few drops.  It worked well.  The suspension fluid was maple syrup...  only about 5-10 ml’s added to the 90-95 mls of water. 

[[Buddie]]

A familiar face!  With such good news!!  I’m happy as can be for you, [...]! 

[[Buddie]]

A familiar face!  With such good news!!  I’m happy as can be for you, [...]!

Thankyou! You mean familiar from here or another group?   

[[Buddie]]

Awesome story! You are so right on many points. I could almost use your story to describe mine as I too was a long time user of clonazepam....I struggle with telling my story but yours was succinct and precise!!!

Best wishes to you...

26 months benzo free myself....

[...]

[[Buddie]]

May I ask if you used alcohol on in your liquid? and what was your "Solution" making process like?

[[Buddie]]

Awesome story! You are so right on many points. I could almost use your story to describe mine as I too was a long time user of clonazepam....I struggle with telling my story but yours was succinct and precise!!!

Best wishes to you...

26 months benzo free myself....

[...]

Yeah… congrats and regarding the success story… just write it in a notebook first! Thanks for the compliment… writing comes naturally for me! 

[[Buddie]]

May I ask if you used alcohol on in your liquid? and what was your "Solution" making process like?

I used 95 ml’s of water, 5 ml’s of maple syrup, 1 drop of alcohol and 0.5 mg of Clonazepam.  I withdrew 0.25 ml’s of liquid daily, discarded it and drank the rest.  So it looked like this.

Day 1- withdrew 0.25 ml and discarded
Day 2- withdrew 0.50 ml and discarded
Day 3- withdrew 0.75 ml and discarded

Many people in this group withdraw the amount out that they want and drink that part but I didn’t do it that way.  I just felt like for me doing the taper my own way was a better option and it gave me more control over how long I would taper.  It also meant that I was just taking a small portion out each day.  Whatever way works for you and makes sense… do it that way… I have always done things my own way.    

[[Buddie]]

Thank you for sharing your story. How’s your sleep now that you’re off everything?

[[Buddie]]

Thank you for sharing your story. How’s your sleep now that you’re off everything?

Is getting better daily... almost back to normal now.