Bedridden 3 years...no more!

[[Buddie]]

Hi all.
Its been awhile since i came on but i always do looking to see who needs help...spirit.

I wont write a book explaining my horror but I was severe WD and bedridden 17hrs a day for over 3 years. That includes the 1.4 years or so of tapering,
I was so sick and major major major depression. Unable to take care of myself. I didn't shave or shower sometimes for over a month...i couldn't do it. and didn't care. I never left the house unless it was for my TMS therapy or later in WD my friggin ECT therapy!!! Yes..i was so desperate i signed up for ECT to try to get relief from the extreme severe depression.

I never thought i would get better, have a life, look out on a nice day and want to go enjoy the sunshine and warm breeze.

Then....unexpectedly...the depression lifted. I was still sick, i was suffering symptoms of a damaged CNS and brain, but the impossible had happened and i knew if i just kept living I would continue to heal!!! I was right...the other success story writers were right.

I still have a major fatigue problem that makes normal activity difficult at times, but I am living and proof we can recover from this nightmare that seems to be a permanent state. BENZO LIES BENZO LIES BENZO LIES. Hang tough...be strong...have hope...pray to your God....love yourself.

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations on a hard fought journey of benzos.
You made it through a very tough time and I'm glad you are healing.

Did your symtoms lift as you tapered or when you finally got off?

I am wishing you better and better days ahead.

[[Buddie]]

Did you suffer what felt like panic attacks in your brain, like you couldn't think clearly or focus on anything in real life?

Did you deal with anger at all?

[[Buddie]]

So encouraging and good for you!

[[Buddie]]

My symptoms remained for quite awhile after i jumped off. During WD was the worst. My panic attacks were and always were...very physical. Glutamate causing CNS discomfort...suffering etc. Acid running through my veins it felt like and it actually hurt.

I could not think clearly nor focus on anything. Again, I was bedridden and i mean bedridden i dont mean laying in bed watching TV or reading a book. I was waiting and praying to die and get it over with. 3 years..every day.

Anger...of course YES. We are all angry, and angry at anything when suffering like that.

[[Buddie]]

Grove, I reached out to you over 5 years ago, and you were so kind and supportive towards me. I am so happy that you no longer suffer with that dark depression........it only gets better and better.

Bless You, [...]

[[Buddie]]

I remember you, [...], going through absolute hell. I'm SO HAPPY to know that you are healed from the awful depression. Miracles do happen. Thank you for coming back and telling us that! We need to hear from people such as yourself. WONDERFUL!!!

[[Buddie]]

Couldn’t be happier for you, [...]!

I was couch-bound for about 18 months, after that it got better and better (w some waves here and there) until I was back to normal.

Thanks for coming back to posting hope to those who are still in the thick of it.

[...] 

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations [...]!!

[[Buddie]]

Thank you for sharing!!!! Congrats for your hard-won battle!