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Protracted healer


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JBreezy:  my intrusive invasive thoughts almost seemed as if something other than myself had control of my brain and body. I was simply a bystander watching it all. TALK ABOUT TERRIFYING. I now realize why someone who may be even slightly mentally unstable prior to taking or withdrawaling from these drugs wouldnt be able to handle ANY of this. Mine lasted about 2.5 to 3 years... every single bit of it is gone.  I have full charge of my brain and life.  Please hold on. Life is beautiful on the otherside of this!!

 

Thank you for responding. Yes, the mental is exactly that. No control and just watching it happen. Like stuck in an evil introspective meditative state.

 

I am still on another drug which I am halfway off now. I know real healing doesn't start until off everything. 

 

I had general anxiety before this but nothing close to what I am experiencing now.

 

I have no idea how you survived it. I'm ready to give up. Thanks for the encouragement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is exactly how I feel, makes me hope I am not going completely

mad. Nothing I have tried eases it.

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  • 6 months later...
I wanted to come back one last time and let everyone know that I am 100 percent healed now. It has been 2 years with ZERO symptoms remaining. I am able to eat and drink whatever I want. I had Covid for the second time with no set backs. I have even had a few beers in the last year.  Life is so good and I never thought I’d survive.  Please hold on. If I can heal anyone can!
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I wanted to come back one last time and let everyone know that I am 100 percent healed now. It has been 2 years with ZERO symptoms remaining. I am able to eat and drink whatever I want. I had Covid for the second time with no set backs. I have even had a few beers in the last year.  Life is so good and I never thought I’d survive.  Please hold on. If I can heal anyone can!

 

Thank you so much for coming back to update us!  So happy to hear you're symptom-free and thriving :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:!!!

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Hi Brighterdays, don’t know if you still check on here. Just your experience seems similar fact you went CT, and think you had intrusive thoughts. Think I read you took 3 and half years before you started to see any recovery. Just wondered when your intrusive thoughts started to improve. Think I am probably one of more severe cases on here as after 37 months they don’t shift no matter what I do. My CNS seems be permanently damaged, never  had any windows Just need bit hope this isn’t permanent. Like pretty beak at moment. Not believing the everyone heals mantra at moment. Hoping you read this.
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Hi leann, sorry to hear that you feel hopeless. Have you tried any natural remedies? I ct zopiclone nearly 8 weeks ago now and temazepam 5 days ago. I get no sleepmost nights and ocasionally 1 and a half hoursand some broken sleep. I thought Id try valerian, not really into herbal etc but I thought nothing to lose. I have abdominal cramps 24/7 so it depends how severe the pain wether itworks. At first I thought itwas useless but have kept taking 300-400mg for 4 nights now and Im pretty sure its helping to relax meand I a bit more broken sleep. Ive read that it can take a few weeks to work so Im going to keep it up for a while longer and see.Ivealways been a bitof a skeptic regarding herbal etc, butnow Ill try anything to getsome relief ( except more benzos of course).
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Tried whole load stuff for anxiety everything seemed to revv me up. The sleep not the major thing it’s the anxiety but nothing seems help that. Been taking chamomile capsules for sleep. Bit of minefield with herbal stuff, you will get conflicting opinions on here, as to whether they help or should be avoided. Think I’ve got some sort virus as well. Brighterdays story was similar to mine in some respects so was hoping she might have chipped in, but can understand people wanting fresh start.
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  • 3 weeks later...
It's so weird bc I have her fb posted success story saved and she says she was only sick for 3 yrs and it was Lex!@#.  :-\
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Garden, can you say which FB group you guys belonged to? I joined a few of those groups fairly recently, and haven't seen the success stories.
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  • 2 months later...

Listened to your interview today with Geraldine Burns on YouTube.  I know you will not be on here anymore but Thank You.  Your story gave me hope.

 

U

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  • 4 months later...
To clarify for anyone that is confused or feels mislead by my success story. If you read my story in entirety you will see I have POLY DRUGGED!!! It started with lexapro AND benzos and snow balled into a complete and utter night terror that unless you have lived, you can not fully understand or fathom! I BEGAN to recover at 3.5 years… I did not heal nor was functional until 5 years. My story is filled with horror. Those who have seen my videos or supported me through the horror will tell you. I have zero reason to exaggerate as it was horrific enough to make a horror film.  I am still doing very well Jan 2014 was my last drug ever.  The body and brain have an amazing ability to heal. Please know that! Im close to graduation from NP school and going into functional medicine. thinking of you guys always.. take care.
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I wanted to pop in quickly and say it took me 6 years to heal. I was on here under a different name for several years. Traumatized80. I was the most horrific case I had ever seen. I was poly drugged after 1 panick attack. I spent 14 months in and out of a psych ward, temporarily lost my nursing career, gave birth with over 150 sx and so much more.

 

I can't honestly go into such detail because its caused severe PTSD.  I was in SEVERE acute withdrawal/brain damage for 3.5 years. I spent 90 percent of my days screaming I'm agony and clinging to anyone that would tell me I would survive. In my eyes I am a walking miracle right now.. anyone that knows my story will vouch for me.  After 4.5 years I was still very debilitated but was able to return to work 2 days a week.

 

I spent the next 1.5 years slowwwwwwwly healing and never believing that some of the remaining acute like symptoms would go away.  This is why I wanted to come on and briefly say I am doing okay. I know some of you answered my messages every single day an old pretty much kept me alive in my darkest times.  I believe there is a list of my symptoms posted under my old name. 

 

I hope this gives some of you some comfort.  I also believe that we must look at other causes. I believe the drugs were just the last nail in the coffin for me.  I had toxic breast implants, metal filling ect.  Once I had the implants removed and the mental out of my mouth I began to heal rapidly.  However, I do not want anyone to read this and assume all of my issues were from them.. I had the implants and fillings fir more than 15 years and my symptoms did NOT occur until the doctors poisoned me.  However, I believe the over load on my system having had these things plus the drugs caused a cascade if events.  I wish you all the best. 

 

If I can recover.. anyone can recover... I remained off ALL drugs and let my brain and nervous system repair itself. The body and brain have an anate ability to heal theirselves. I'm proof

 

I hope you don't mind me adding this but for those who are interested I found her list of symptoms and I'd like to share if that's okay. If there is a problem with me sharing this please let me know I'd be more then happy to remove it I don't want to upset anyone. Looking at your list... Wow, I just don't understand how someone can survive that. It's as big actually I think it's bigger then another person on this site named "MustangSaydee who I'll add his symptom list too. The point isn't meant to take away from your sufferings hell you suffered over 150 symptoms which is insane to me. I'm beyond sorry you had to go through that actually I don't really have words to justify what you went through and my heart goes out to you.

I'm only adding his list just in case if anyone has a symptom which isn't on your list maybe it will be on his, when I read success stories I often look for the symptoms first to see if I can gain reassurance and comfort which I'm unable to find in those success stories half the time so I understand what it's like to need to feel a sense of connection.

 

Thank you so much for your reassurance, I'd say you don't Know how much this means but I'm sure you do as you've been daily struggling unfairly.

 

Also side note I have permission from MustangSaydee06 to post his list we're real world friends in the same city. Please ask permission first prior to posting anyone else's experiences and content.

 

If it's alright I'd like to post the hero in question here which is Brighter days or as her previous account use to be named "Traumatized 80".

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=127018.msg1684426#msg1684426

 

MustangSaydee06:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=257286.0

 

Hope this helps someone and thank you again for coming back to share your success it's amazingly inspiring and I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your new found life journey

 

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  • 1 month later...

Congratulations and thanks for posting your story.

 

I take it very seriously with the numbers as I am at month 37 and still have symptoms.

 

You wrote that the last time you used a drug was in January 2014.

 

You posted this success story on August 21, 2019.

 

You wrote that you were cured after 6 years.

 

From January 2014 - August 2019 is a total of 5 years and 8 months.

 

There is a difference of 4 months.

 

Can you enlighten us ?

 

Thanks.

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

To clarify for anyone that is confused or feels mislead by my success story. If you read my story in entirety you will see I have POLY DRUGGED!!! It started with lexapro AND benzos and snow balled into a complete and utter night terror that unless you have lived, you can not fully understand or fathom! I BEGAN to recover at 3.5 years… I did not heal nor was functional until 5 years. My story is filled with horror. Those who have seen my videos or supported me through the horror will tell you. I have zero reason to exaggerate as it was horrific enough to make a horror film.  I am still doing very well Jan 2014 was my last drug ever.  The body and brain have an amazing ability to heal. Please know that! Im close to graduation from NP school and going into functional medicine. thinking of you guys always.. take care.

 

Dear Brighterdays

Thank you so much for telling your story. I have nearly the same severe symptoms as you had, and I am 19 months off now and still suffering so bad. Your story gives me hope that this will be better one day.

Hugs, JB

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Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry that you endured such torture for so long. And I am grateful that you are now symptom-free and thriving. Miracles do happen.
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...
Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for coming back and courageously sharing your story. It is the one that I keep coming back too and often the one that keeps me afloat in the darkest times. Please know that you have touched and saved at least one person. I wish for you all the very best.
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  • 5 weeks later...

Hello there.

You have been through hell and back. I can’t believe it.

Your body is a miracle

No , you are a miracle for doing this

You are amazing for not giving up.

I have had the same of your symptoms , all of them

Plus Dystonia

 

 

I don’t know how much I can take

I am in a very bad place

I had some windows in month 5 but overal my life is hell since the end of 2021 and my akathisia seems to be chronic

 

Akathasia I have inside

 

I cannot walk so I cannot pace.

 

I wish we had a Time Machine

I miss my daughter and she misses me

 

I will never heal

 

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I wonder if she had neurotoxic encephalopathy

 

Gardengonewild,

 

Rendering opinions without being asked or making assumptions about a members health is in poor taste. This thread is a celebration of one persons accomplishment, success story comments should focus on the accomplishment of the member and be celebratory in nature.  Questions about the members journey are encouraged but they should focus on that, this is not the place for discussion about anything other than the story, please respect them and don’t allow their celebratory thread to turn into a horror story.

 

The team realizes our guidelines for this board have failed to make this clear, that is going to change.

 

Pamster

 

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  • 7 months later...

I must say your story is my hope because reading your old posts I can see myself. Polydrugged. Reactions to non-psych meds. Pregnancy and having a baby while in aka. The electricity in my brain and body, pressure, burning, vibrations. I have recently almost stopped breastfeeding and feel like it sent me into hell worse than ever because even new symptoms developed! My baby is 8,5 months old and I can no longer take care of her, my mum and husband have to do it. I am hysterical. I hope I will heal like you finally did because omg I want to be there for my girl! 

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This story is part of the faith I need to endure these symptoms. I've been in this for 32 months, homebound with dizziness, fatigue, migraines, and a feeling of faintness when I walk, preventing me from living a normal life. I hope everything improves soon. A hug.

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