I am wife of scared cat

I'm not able to understand why he keeps crying all day.

I understand that it takes time, so just wait, why he is so hopless?

I tell him to go and walk, he says that he can't. He just doesn't want to, he can but doesn't. I tell him to be brave and not cry, he says that he's alive that's a sign of bravery.. I mean seriously??

He says that his chest pains, but even so my leg also pains I do not cry like him...

I'm asking do anyone of u cry because of these silly pain?

It's not silly pain. The crying and hopelessness are also symptoms we cannot do anything about but to withstand them. We don't just have a physical pain, that would be easy compared to the complete hell we go through. He ia not himself also not emotionally and mentally. Please give him some slack. I also tell everyone around me I'm the strongest person I know for being here and fighting this fight.

Hi, wife of scared cat

 

I would just ask you to be as patient as you possibly can with your husband. I would like to tell you that benzodiazepine withdrawal is one of the most painful experiences (mentally, emotionally, and physically) imaginable, but, to be perfectly honest… it’s simply beyond imagination. Unless one has actually been through it, it’s simply beyond ones comprehension. Although I would like to explain what your husband is going though and the cruel way in which benzodiazepine withdrawal affects the entire body, I think it’s best if I just provide you with a few links that will help you gain some understanding around these particular medications, and the devastating affects they have on the lives of many, including the loved ones of those affected by these medications.

 

It’s probably best if you just try to accept that (to a large degree) it’s just not possible for you to understand what your husband is going though, and just do your very best to comfort and support him through what can be an incredibly painful and debilitating experience.

 

Hopefully other members will provide a few of their own links offering you more insight into the experience of benzodiazepine withdrawal.

 

The Ashton Manual

 

What’s happening inside your brain

 

 

Unfortunately it's impossible to explain what your husband is going through. There's no words to explain it, and beyond anything you could imagine. If it was just physical pain, as you said your legs hurt, you could cope. But the brain isn't working properly, so that is felt much more. Mentally you are not strong enough, and the whole world seems like it's out to get you. If you can imagine some emotional pain that you've gone through in your life. Multiply it x1000. Your husband is being tortured and nothing will take it away. He can't see an end to it, which then makes it worse.

 

I know it must be frustrating for you too, and he's not the man you married. But he will come out of it, things will improve slowly. But they will improve. Try not to be too judgemental, he is just trying to survive, which unfortunately some people don't.

As other posters have stated, it is beyond comprehension.  I don’t even think people with your run of the mill depression, anxiety and panic disorder can comprehend it.  The mind is doing a lot of unnatural things and it’s impossible to make sense of it.  It’s like the brain loses any organization and very simple things, like going on a walk or just going to the store, are really overwhelming.  It can mimic dementia in some ways.  It’s psychological but it’s also cognitive. 

 

I know you’ve been patient for a long time already but this is a cruel condition and unfortunately everything a doctor will probably tell you is wrong.  The brain needs time to heal and once it starts doing so you’ll begin to get your husband back.  Trust me, he doesn’t want to feel like this.   

 

 

This is scared cat here.

My wife has been my great support all these times. She knew everything and still we got married. I know deep down she understands what I go through, it's just that as it has been so long it's impossible for anyone to keep the spirits high.

Obviously, we don't have any choice. I can't help crying, and neither can she see me crying.

Unlike most of the days when she keeps me inspired on recovery, today she needs hope from all of you, Thank you everyone for your posts. We both appreciate BB.

I think it is amazing she as a loved one reached out here too when she needed.

I'm not able to understand why he keeps crying all day.

I understand that it takes time, so just wait, why he is so hopless?

I tell him to go and walk, he says that he can't. He just doesn't want to, he can but doesn't. I tell him to be brave and not cry, he says that he's alive that's a sign of bravery.. I mean seriously??

He says that his chest pains, but even so my leg also pains I do not cry like him...

I'm asking do anyone of u cry because of these silly pain?

 

I'm about where your husband is time-wise. I was benzo free at the end of August. The problems I have come from one core; my nervous system has become unstrung and it colors everything I think and feel. I'm definitely getting better and like your husband, the one person I care most about—my husband—is suffering because I am. I was always the kind of person who could dig in and figure things out. Not afraid of hard work or pain. But this has been other-worldly; I never would have thought a human being could suffer this much and still be alive, but I look fine on the outside. It's good that you can't relate to your husband. It's the last thing he'd want.

 

I had a psychiatrist that worked with me on a meds-only basis. Her specialty is addiction, so she works with people who have been addicted to clonazepam, a benzo. No doctor believed what I told them until the Pdoc told me she'd helped an attorney get off a benzo. He'd been over-prescribed and it took her a year to get him off. Three years later, he was finally starting to feel like himself. "It takes a long time to heal because your nerves have to wind up again," is what she told me. It's incredibly, painfully slow. On the one hand though, you're so right; it just takes time and your husband needs to accept that and try as best he can to trust that when his bento-fried brain is lying to him that it will never get better. It will.

 

Thank you for having your feet on the ground! It's tough for you too, because you've lost the man he was. He'll be back, and better than ever.

Hi ScaredCat

 

I’m so sorry for the toll this has taken on your wife, which… of course, is not only completely understandable, but sadly, expected. I just want to apologise if my reply was too directly focussed on validating your experience, rather than a more balanced comforting approach… offering validation, hope, and encouragement, which is how it should’ve been. The day will come where you both have your lives back, and this will all just seem like a bad dream.