The First 24

After it all fell apart, after a reinstatement, after frantically trying to figure out what to do and what was wrong, now after a very "short" taper I find myself finishing the first 24hrs off.

I did a very fast daily water taper with one thing in mind, at all costs.

I felt bad still feel very under pressure to heal sooner then later as a lot of my life is on the line my home and my business. This made me taper on the edge of my seat riding many days of overwhelming non stop symptoms and still making my cuts but I just didn't have the time to hold or stabilize. Its now or never before my situation gets even worse then it is now in the non benzo sense. Yes it was hard to not feel like I could take the time if things got bad, I just took the hit after hit.

Now I sit waiting for the rug to get pulled but I'd say day one was a win so I'll take it, very difficult but nothing we aren't used too by now. Felt pretty much like a taper day just everything elevated. Not the soft landing I was praying for but I knew what 30% a month might bring and it definitely showed up at the end as a reminder of bad can always get worse. I don't know if there's anything that would make me take another dose now or ever again. Let's see how tomorrow is and I plan to take this just like the taper, one day at a time and one moment of resilience after another.

Thanks for all the help and I will be making updates as I can. As much as I'm not feeling up to much just felt it was important for me to find the enegery tonight to congratulate myself after making it the first day.

Before I sign off I'd like to say how grateful I was for a member here that's helped me through some of the darkest days and I know going forward the same. Finding a buddy that truly knows what we are going through has been absolutely life saving. I don't know if I could have done it without you, so once again thank you.