Another 2 concerts, 2 light beers and a mosh pit

I know it’s hard to read about people living a “normal” life when u are so sick. But please believe u will get better coz I never did. I have had some pretty rough waves lately too, but I just carried on with my routine regardless.

 

I was in the mosh pit for the smashing pumpkins. I had the biggest smile on my face and had the best time. I will be forever grateful that I am able to do these things again.

 

I’m dealing with a couple of things still (insomnia, eye problems, some heart stuff) and I just had to get glasses coz I’m short sighted. But apart from that I’m ok.

 

Please keep going. Make a list of some things u need to do within ur capacity and work thru it every day no matter how shit u feel. Routine is key. U gotta get ur head out of that negative loop of “I won’t ever get better”. U will but u need to fight for it.

 

Sending u all strength 💪🏾

I remember that when I signed up for benzobuddies, one of the first posts I saw was yours, it's incredible how time flies and we still haven't healed, but there is something that we cannot deny, it is that we are a little better and we are improving little by little .

 

We have to keep fighting, I'm sure we're going to recover!!!

 

very wise words, i was feeling a bit demotivated until i read your post.

 

We have to hold on a little longer!

Yay Shayna! You go girrrrrl!!!!

 

 

Katz

A mosh pit? Never been in one, but I had one form next to me at a concert decades ago.    Good you're having fun. I remember you tiptoeing off the last bit, and wondering when you'd sleep.

 

 

I jumped in April, as you can see in my sig. I used NAD+ as an assist. It was bad after jumping, first week I had symptoms I rarely or never had while tapering. But, each week I notice gradual, small, improvements. Nothing earth-shattering. I focus on the little signs of healing going on.

 

And it's funny you mention about that 'to do' list. I started doing small chores in the mornings. I plan on continuing to get caught up on stuff gradually, by doing a little bit at a time. Before I know it, I will have made a dent on the stuff that has been piling up. Still very much in acute hell ,    but improving a little bit every day. Focusing on the improvements, rather than the problems, has helped me cope.

 

I'm a fighter, and I am fighting. 

Whoop whoop! An amazing Aussie kicking ass! Truly the amazing wonder from down under! Way to go girl, living life to the fullest And giving inspiration as you do! I’m at almost 21 months and lately have been in some hard waves and plugging along daily like you. I leave for a trip next Tuesday with my hubby, my brother and his wife. Looking forward to it but hoping I feel somewhat better by then. It’s doable and I can function but I just like it better when I’m feeling my best! I’m going to try a shandy or two on vacation. The beer I drink where we are going is grapefruit beer and it is  only 2% alcohol so drinking it slow and over a period of time should do ok. I’ll be sure to enjoy and DWSWD “Do what Shayna Would Do!” Meaning I’ll whoop it up too! Keep on rocking my friend! I’m so happy for you! (Hammer dance time!) 

Thank you Shayna I needed to read this.  Congratulations!!!

Oh all my beautiful friends x it’s so nice to hear from you all! I think u know instinctively when it’s time to take the training wheels off. I’m definitely feeling like I’m ready to go. But there’s always that little voice holding me back. We have to listen to it to a degree but taking little leaps of faith is important because it makes us feel alive! We’ve been up on the shelf for a long time girls. Time to get back in the game 💪🏾

 

Woop woop I’m so proud of u all and lottie I’m so happy U have jumped amazing x it’s hard but the worst is behind u for sure now honey x

 

Dee, WW, Katz and GP sending u a big smooch from down under ❤️

 

Oh well sending u one down south Dee 🥰

The pumpkins are a local band as I’m from Chicago woop 🙌. Glad you’re getting your mojo back ! :smitten: Peace and healing shayna

 

Kanoba

Thanks kanoba honey❤️

I was obsessed with them as a teenager so to see them was so amazing. They came out years ago and I missed them and then billy said he’d never come back (something happened) so I thought I can let this chance go!

That’s the trouble with Oz it’s so far away we don’t get as many chances to see our idols.

 

I went to a huge football game last night with 45 000 people and a lot of them were obnoxiously drunk but it was great and I loved that too! So nice that all this Covid BS is over so we can get amongst it again ❤️

Hey Shanyna 78 - I am so happy for you!  You are always so encouraging and remind us that things will get better and that we have to keep going and trying!  You are such an inspiration!!

 

Keep doing what you are doing and living live!!!!  You deserve all things good!!

 

Hugs and love to you girl!!! :smitten:

Shayna:

 

So good to hear from you!  Glad you are getting on with your life!  Love hearing about the fun you are having!!!! 

 

I am in a bit of a wave right now, but fighting through it!!  Your words are such an encouragement!

 

Do you know how Trina is doing??

 

Decatur/Lisa

Thanku tolba and Dec ❤️ I never post to rub it in. I remember when I was so sick still and Meagan started to get better I actually got to see someone getting better on here and it really gave me a lift. It is so miraculous honestly. I was out walking the other day and I just felt so calm. I thought to myself of all those ruminating thoughts, the crippling anxiety and the black depression and I said a little prayer of gratitude to the universe. I used to spend hours searching for a cure on online and reading success stories for a glimmer of hope. To be free of that prison I was in is just too wonderful for words. I want you all to know it is coming for you and in your moments of feeling like u can’t go on another day just know I had so many of those days. X

 

I haven’t heard from Trina but imma try to get in contact. Last time I spoke to her she was doing much better ❤️

 

 

Hey Shayna, my old book club buddy!  So glad that you’re charging on into some normalcy!

I haven’t been posting lately but popped in to see what’s going on and saw your post. 

 

Glad your having some great days and it’s so encouraging and reassuring to others. 

I will be jumping sometime in the next couple of months. It’s been a long road (2 1/2 years). I have started to have some great days lately mixed with some horrible ones still but I’m seeing the light!

 

Actually planned a trip this fall and would not have thought of doing that 6 mos. ago.

 

Yep, never been in a mosh pit but also been going to a few concerts again. Nothing beats live music!

 

Thanks for posting .  I’m glad I stopped in!

 

Oh 2 cats!!!! I’m so happy for u! U are so close now x it’s such a hard road but slow and steady wins the race x

 

That is amazing u are going on a trip x I know it’s such a big deal when u get to a point of feeling brave enuf to do it, and what’s the worst that could happen… a wave… we get those when we don’t do anything at all. This is when things start to change when u feel the desire to live a normal life and do normal things that u never even questioned once.

 

One thing I’m struggling with a little now is that sense of caution. I can’t eat that I shouldn’t drink that. But I thought to hell with it and tried a couple of things and had no reaction at all. But still I don’t push it too far coz getting sick again is just not going to happen. I guess I just miss that freedom I felt before I got sick if u know what I mean.

 

I’ve had coffee the last 5 mornings and a couple of strange things happened. Before I was drinking like 6 cups of tea during the day, now I only have that one coffee and my tea craving is completely gone! Also I felt no change in my body except I just felt really dialed in. No jitters or anything. It’s so nice to have coffee again but I am nearly 2 years out.

 

So nice to hear from my girls here. I miss u all ❤️

Shayna, thank you for reminding and reassuring us that recovery does happen, and although I have never (and at my advanced age will never) taken part in a mosh pit, in my wild younger years I would have jumped in with you.  I am so happy for you, Shayna, as you really went through hell and back for many months.  I pray your husband and children are doing well…I know they are thrilled to have the REAL wife and mother they love and cherish back!!!!

 

I am hanging in there at 38 months with some really long windows , but have been in a slight wave for a few weeks……mainly the stupid headaches but they are lessening in level and duration.  I sent Trina a pm a couple of weeks ago, but did not hear back from her.  I imagine she is doing well and wants to concentrate on and enjoy her healed life.

 

Thinking of you with the warmest thoughts this old body can dredge up.

 

Love,

 

GG

Oh gg my sweet friend, those bloody headaches! I hope this wave ends quickly for u x they can be debilitating and u have definitely had enuf of them x I get them still too but I think mostly it’s because of my vision. But I have had a few cracking ones lately. Still seeing that cute dr for urs? Hehe

 

I actually got my daith pierced to help stop them and I’d say it did reduce them by maybe 50 percent so I don’t get them often but one I had recently was pretty crazy. (Migraine with lights and aura)

 

I’m so glad u are having such nice long windows tho, it’s a relief when it happens and reminds of there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I bet ur glad for spring GG I imagine you will be in ur garden planting like crazy x I hope you and ur loved ones are all well ❤️

 

It’s starting to get cold here but I have decided to keep swimming throughout winter. Cold therapy is spose to be very good for us so I’ll put it to the test! If it gets too hard I’ve always got my wetsuit x

 

Love to you ❤️

Hi Shayna,

 

I'm so happy you are doing so well!! 

Thanks Casper xxx how are u doing ❤️

Thanks Casper xxx how are u doing ❤️

 

Could be better but still plugging away 

Ugh. I hear u honey ❤️

Shayna- glad to hear you're doing well!  I appreciate you coming back to give us some light and hope.  Thanks for the encouragement you provided me while you were here in it.  Your morning swims inspired me to work out more in recovery, which I think really has helped. 

 

I also love the pumpkins but have never seen them live. 

Oh hey buddy! I’m so glad excercise has helped u! It’s so good for us on many levels and I really believe it was key to things turning around for me. I really love it and sometimes do over 3 hours a day now of swim, weights and running or walking. It’s what I do for fun x

 

That said this week I haven’t been doing as much and that’s been nice too. It’s so cold and dark later/earlier here atm that it makes it hard to get going! But I still do my ocean swim at least once a week.

 

If u have the chance to watch limitless with Chris hemsworth there’s an episode about cold water and it’s benefits and that inspired me to keep swimming thru winter. It’s strange but now I am able to control my reflex to the cold water more and I never shiver. Mind over matter works!

 

Pumpkins are the best! I’m looking for my next concert to go to!

You’re an amazing awesome Aussie bad AZZ!!!!