6 months off and my brain is still healing! Anxiety is getting better

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success story

I joined benzo buddies on Jan 14, 2023. I had just recently realized that i was dependent on Xanax and was suffering horrible withdrawal symptoms as a result of that dependence. I was looking for any help to face this problem head on. I had been taking .5 mg daily for several months and intermittently for a year or two. In hindsight, i can recognize times of anxiety, depression and insomnia that I attributed to a stressful life and job, but was likely due mostly to interdose withdrawal symptoms from my benzo use.

In January I decided i was going to take some time off of drinking alcohol…dry January. My insomnia went through the roof, my anxiety was ultra high, I did not want to be anywhere or do anything but couldn't realize a place that I would feel better. I was in a very bad place and it was a result of chemicals in my brain being out of balance. Gaba wasn't doing it's job at calming and slowing things down bc i had removed both alcohol and benzos throwing me into a spiral. My first though was “Oh S&;t”. next came… “How can i fix this?” 

I researched everything i could and found benzo buddies during that time. I discovered the Ashton manual and tried to put together a plan.  I immediately cut my dose dramatically and switched to  diazepam.  I did it way to fast but was very determined to beat this problem.  i eventually settled on 5 mg diazepam once daily and did that for about three weeks. I did not sleep well at all. some nights 1-2hours of interrupted sleep. some 3-4. occasionally none.  I woke in a constant state of anxiety but managed to make it to work every day even on days i had no desire to do anything.  I was motivated by success stories I had read about people who had defeated this problem. I prayed a lot. I took Mg, Bvitamins, Gaba, prevagen, and hydroxyzine. i also tried some cbd. I am not certain that anything helped much but the placebo effect, or the idea i was giving my brain the ingredients it needed to heal was comforting to me.

After 3 weeks on 5mg i decided i was going to start cutting. i got a jewelers scale and weighed a pill. i started cutting .003 micrograms per day from 170mcg pill. Doing this cut my dose by about 1mg every 12 days…similar to the Ashton method but more gradual and without a full mg drop every week or two. Just a more gradual approach.  During this time most days sucked pretty bad…brain fog anxiety insomnia, poor motivation, agoraphobia, fatigue, muscle twitching, restless legs, tingling skin, irregular temperature regulation, poor appetite, weight loss…and others.

i made myself run and workout even though my body was saying “NO!” I prayed and improved my relationship with GOD. I quit looking at negative things…news, shows, testimonials on BB that were depressing. I was sleeping poorly every night but never missed a day of work! I wanted to miss every day but did not want to fail.

I followed this reduction until I got to a 1 mg equivalent.this was too early in hindsight but it is where i jumped from the Diazepam.  The next couple of weeks sucked pretty bad. some nights having zero sleep others an hour or two of crazy dreams light sleep at best.  It gradually got a bit better but it wasn’t for a full month after cessation that some normal sleep returned.  I got a couple NAD plus infusions and was surprised at how it helped. I could literally feel some immediate relief by it but after a day or two it wore off and the symptoms returned. I think i got 4 in total over two weeks. i am not certain if it was time or the NAD but the combination worked for me. 

I am now free and clear since Mar 10, 2023. I am sleeping much better, my anxiety is in check…not gone but much better.  I feel normal again…better mentally than i have for years. A big part of recovery is accepting that the symptoms are NOT YOU! They are a chemical imbalance from a medication.  You are NOT going crazy…when the chemicals return to there balance you will feel better. You CAN do it, put it in the past. Accepting that you will not feel good during the process but knowing that eventually you will.  I prayed Psalm 91 daily…I read passages on healing, my relationship with God improved during my struggle. I do believe He provided me strength to go to work when i had no sleep and felt terrible. He gave me the strength to run on the treadmill when i was exhausted, He gave me enough sleep to survive and he did not abandon me. For those who go to the Lord for safety, For those who remain under the protection of the Almighty can say to Him…You are my defender and protector In you I trust.

Having Faith that i would be Ok was imperative to my success.

I had a strong small support system of people i talked with and i had them pray for me. It helped knowing i had others who loved me and were there during the difficult time. I tried not to overwhelm them as i think people get compassion fatigue especially when they don’t understand how u feel. Your brain is sick when you are going through this problem!

Tapering did suck, but it was doable. Take longer than I did. I went too fast but did not want to drag it out. I feel great now. I feel liberated from a chemical beast that messed my brain up.

6 months out now and my morning anxiety is much better. My daily symptoms of benzo withdrawal such as insomnia, fear, skin crawling, constant overwhelming nervousness, temperature fluctuations, depression, weight loss, bad dreams and ideations, agoraphobia along with many others are gone or at a very acceptable level. Life is good and getting better.

Good luck to all who need a bode of confidence. You will beat this if you want to.

PW

Hey prestige worldwide,

Thank you for coming back and sharing this milestone!

Congratulations! You made it through and it sounds like you’re doing great!

I enjoyed reading your account of what happened and how you handled it.

Thanks again for the encouraging words.

All the best to you,

Pop Soda

P.s. do want to go to the garage and do karate?

NAD plus is a B vitamin IV infusion which is supposed to promote cellular healing. There r reports that it has shown benefits in addiction recovery. I do t believe there are any negative consequences that could occur from this IV. I could feel immediate results. It helped me over a hump in my recovery.

PW