Jump to content

Meditations - by Melody Beattie


[Jo...]

Recommended Posts

Acceptance

by Melody Beattie

 

 

 

 

A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance.

 

We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Financial status. Where we live. Our work, our tasks, our level of performance at these tasks.

 

Resistance will not move us forward, nor will it eliminate the undesirable. But even our resistance may need to be accepted. Even resistance yields to and is changed by acceptance.

 

Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment.

 

Acceptance is the magic that makes our present circumstances good. It brings peace and contentment and opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.

 

It shines the light of positive energy on all that we have and are. Within the framework of acceptance, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

 

Acceptance empowers the positive and tells God we have surrendered to the Plan. We have mastered today’s lesson, and are ready to move on.

 

 

___________________________________

 

Personal commentary:

 

 

I have been struggling with accepting my condition for a very long time.  Over 12 years.  I have found that when it comes to my health and what my ability is… I have a very hard time dealing with it and accepting it the way it is because of what benzos have done to me.  I suppose acceptance must be key to enduring.

 

 

Kindly,

j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 56
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • [Jo...]

    33

  • [Pa...]

    5

  • [Gl...]

    5

  • [Be...]

    4

Thank you Jozsef, I believe acceptance is so important but too many people see it as surrender or defeat and what you've written shows it certainly isn't.  Acceptance can go a long way to help us in our battle with benzo's and when you combine it with hope you have some pretty powerful weapons to help get through this.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Serenity Prayer

 

God grant me the ability

To accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 

I don't just accept everything, but do everything I can to make things better for myself.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Serenity Prayer

 

God grant me the ability

To accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 

I don't just accept everything, but do everything I can to make things better for myself.

 

Good one Becks the Wecks…

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you Jozsef, I believe acceptance is so important but too many people see it as surrender or defeat and what you've written shows it certainly isn't.  Acceptance can go a long way to help us in our battle with benzo's and when you combine it with hope you have some pretty powerful weapons to help get through this.

 

Awesome Pamster… acceptance combined with hope.  The grenade n the rocket launcher…

 

 

Kindly,

j

 

 

 

(quick note:  Melody Beattie wrote that meditation.  I really like her daily meditation book entitled, “The Language of Letting Go.”  It has helped me on many of my bad days.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have you read Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach? She’s a therapist and Buddhism teacher. It’s an excellent book. I read and reread it a lot.

Definitely worth checking out 🙏🏼

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have you read Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach? She’s a therapist and Buddhism teacher. It’s an excellent book. I read and reread it a lot.

Definitely worth checking out 🙏🏼

 

Thanks !!  No… I’ve not read it… but it sounds like a really good one worth checking out.  j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Letting Go of (our own) Timing

by Melody Beattie

 

the_journey_is_the_reward.jpg

 

When the time is right, child. When the time is right. How often have we heard those words—from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power?

 

We want things so badly—that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change.

 

So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously, wondering all the while: When will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then?

 

We try to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don’t hold the answers. The answers come from God. If we listen closely, we’ll hear them. When the time is right, child. When the time is right.

 

Be happy now.

 

Today, I will relax. I am being prepared. I can let go of timing. I can stop manipulating outcomes. Good things will happen when the time is right, and they will happen naturally.

 

 

________________________

 

 

My (j’s) thoughts:

 

I was gleaning over this meditation and asking myself how this concept has helped me on this benzo journey.  I realize that for myself… it is very important for me to let go of timing… because when I put all this suffering and waiting into the tiny box called time… then I no longer need faith (or God) to keep helping me endure because by relying only on time kinda puts my faith out of the picture.  It keeps my spiritual eyes too focused on the goal… as opposed to the present place in the journey along the way there.  If I just have faith… and believe in God's timing… that sets me free to a degree to have more faith because now I can know that whatever my time is to obtain victory in this battle… it will be perfect timing whether I have to wait a long time or a short time.  Letting go OF MY OWN timing also frees me to not feel guilty for not being “successful” in my journey n fight by any particular set time.  I am allowing myself to trust that whatever the outcome… it will be for my good.  I know that God has made everything beautiful in his time… and trusting that and putting faith in that also frees me to encourage others in spite of how severe my condition is.  It helps me keep my spiritual priorities straight and it helps me to bear my own burden along with the burdens of others even in my weakness and suffering.  It also reminds me not to place heavy burdens on others by putting my expectations for healing upon them… so that I am free to encourage others regardless of where they are in their journey.  I can realize n understand that just like God has his timing for me… the same might hold true for others.  The important thing is to learn how to discern somewhat where people are in their journey so that I can meet them there and love them there with the right kind of love for where they are in their journey.

 

In other words… I won’t encourage someone who is already off benzos and almost fully healed… the same way that I would encourage someone who is stuck on benzos and can’t get off them and is very sick n dysfunctional.  Letting go of having my own timing is a good thing.  If I fail to let go of my own timing… I place myself at risk of stamping my timing on someone else.  If I succeed in letting go of my own timing… then I prevent myself from manipulating my own outcome… or the outcomes of others.  Each of us has our own painful journey… and by letting go of my own timing… I free myself to carry the burdens of others n not just my own.  I am then able to help bear the burden of the other person by not placing any judgment or expectations on them.  This… in and of itself creates a more positive n healing “environment.”  Pleasant words are like honey… health to the bones n sweet to the soul…. n what is truly needed is a more positive environment for healing, support, and recovery.

 

 

Kindly,

j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[9b...]

Thank you Jozsef, I believe acceptance is so important but too many people see it as surrender or defeat and what you've written shows it certainly isn't.  Acceptance can go a long way to help us in our battle with benzo's and when you combine it with hope you have some pretty powerful weapons to help get through this.

 

Awesome Pamster… acceptance combined with hope.  The grenade n the rocket launcher…

 

 

Kindly,

j

 

 

 

(quick note:  Melody Beattie wrote that meditation.  I really like her daily meditation book entitled, “The Language of Letting Go.”  It has helped me on many of my bad days.)

 

Love this Jozsef ... the 'grenade n the rocket launcher'!  That is as profound and the Beattie reading you posted!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you Jozsef, I believe acceptance is so important but too many people see it as surrender or defeat and what you've written shows it certainly isn't.  Acceptance can go a long way to help us in our battle with benzo's and when you combine it with hope you have some pretty powerful weapons to help get through this.

 

Awesome Pamster… acceptance combined with hope.  The grenade n the rocket launcher…

 

 

Kindly,

j

 

 

 

(quick note:  Melody Beattie wrote that meditation.  I really like her daily meditation book entitled, “The Language of Letting Go.”  It has helped me on many of my bad days.)

 

Love this Jozsef ... the 'grenade n the rocket launcher'!  That is as profound and the Beattie reading you posted!!

 

Great… Kate… so glad u like it.  j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Feelings and Surrender and Freedom

by Melody Beattie

 

 

 

 

Surrendering is a highly personal and spiritual experience.

 

Surrender is not something we can do in our heads. It is not something we can force or control by willpower. It is something we experience.

 

Acceptance, or surrender, is not a tidy package. Often, it is a package full of hard feelings—anger, rage, and sadness, followed by release and relief. As we surrender, we experience our frustration and anger at God, at other people, at ourselves, and at life. Then we come to the core of the pain and sadness, the heavy emotional burden inside that must come out before we can feel good. Often, these emotions are connected to healing and release at a deep level.

 

Surrender sets the wheels in motion. Our fear and anxiety about the future are released when we surrender.

 

We are protected. We are guided. Good things have been planned. The next step is now being taken. Surrender is the process that allows us to move forward. It is how our God moves us forward.

 

Trust in the rightness of timing, and the freedom at the other end, as you struggle humanly through this spiritual experience.

 

I will be open to the process of surrender in my life. I will allow myself all the awkward and potent emotions that must be released.

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

My thoughts about surrender pertaining to benzo use, withdrawal and recovery... or even sad and sorrowful outcomes:

 

 

Each one of us will have a different journey and outcome with benzos and meds.  Some will heal... some will be forever changed.  For some... the suffering will end in due time.  For others... it might continue for years or even for the rest of their life.  Regardless of one's journey or outcome... one thing holds true.  None of us will ever be the same.  I know over the past 12 years I've gone through some major changes in my life because of benzos... some of them I have accepted and gone through the surrender experience... and some of them I am still in the middle of... not knowing exactly what the outcome will be.  For many... the outcome could go either way... and it is simply unknown at this present time.  It took me years to realize the reality of where I am on my benzo journey.  It took me years to realize and begin to accept what they have done to me.  This is not just a sad and grievous thing too hard to think about.  It's a gift.  It's a path that I, alone, can see from that perspective.  That's just it.  Becoming what we need to each other in recovery is understanding that others on this journey have their own perspective on their condition and what they believe the outcome may be.  I must set boundaries for myself that I am not allowed to cross when I am trying to encourage others or be a friend or both.  I can take what I've learned about my own experience thus far... and create a healthy boundary with it... to prevent myself from hurting others or making their journey even more painful than it already is.  It's a form of surrender I must learn and experience... that only comes by longevity and experience.  It's not something  I can just "will" to happen. 

 

Whatever pain I have to experience to be a better supporter of others going through this experience... and whatever comfort I also have experienced on my own journey... happened to take me through the surrendering process one step further til' now.  Over time... those experiences have helped me to be more "harmless" when trying to help or support or comfort another.  Love is the reward.  Wouldn't being healed really be the reward ?  Woudn't just being free from benzos be the only goal and reward ?  If that were the case... too many sufferers would be left behind.  There are as many different ways to support and encourage and love as there are people on benzos.  I believe surrendering to that realization will free everyone who needs to give and receive support to do it in any way necessary for each individual who is on the journey.  Right now... I feel some surrendering getting ready to happen to me.  I don't know when it's going to fully manifest... but I believe it will... and when it does... then I will be more free to love others the way they need to be loved.  God is doing it all... because God is love.  If there is one thing I have learned on this journey... it is that real love is the only thing that truly helps in a lasting way... and the irony of it is... those who recover fully and heal need that same love just as much as those who have "different" fates with benzos...  This "approach" works with everyone no matter their condition or journey or outcome whether it be a good one or a bad one.  Surrendering to the reality of each of our benzo circumstances... whether they be good or bad or hopeful or hopeless...frees everyone to help each other the way each person needs it.  Surrendering to the things mentioned in the above meditation by Melody Beattie will happen in time... but I must remember that it will still take time to learn where others are at in order to be helpful or supportive.  Once I get that release... I can't stamp it on everyone else... because not one person has experienced the same journey that I have.  This concept doesn't bring sadness and discouragement... it brings love, peace, joy, happiness, hope, relief, healing, and so on.  May we experience surrender when our time to experience surrender comes.  May we have the faith and the love to endure it... so that we might be more of a healing balm to others who walk with us.

 

 

Kindly,

j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"healing balm to others who walk with us" Wow J! that is truly my desire in a nutshell. :smitten: This thread is speaking directly to me.  :thumbsup:

 

PG

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Relax and Flow

By Melody Beattie

Discussion by j

 

 

 

 

I visited the Hoover Dam in Nevada some time ago and marveled at its construction and purpose. Here was a huge structure that had been built into a canyon to harness the power of thousands of tons of moving water.

 

The water flows through the machinery, and the energy of the moving water is transformed into electricity that powers thousands of homes and businesses. But it wouldn’t work if you dammed up a lake, because the water has to be moving for it to have power.

 

The secret to the power is in the flowing.

 

How often we try to stifle the flow of events in our lives with control. We think that if we could only get things to go the way we want, then everything would be all right. We take the energy of the universe and bottle it up. And we kill its energy.

 

Let go of control.

 

Let the energy of life flow through and around you. You can learn to direct the flow, but you don’t need to control it. Become open to the energy that is flowing around you, and rather than trying to bottle it up, let it flow. Energy is useful only when it is flowing.

 

Relax and go with the flow of the universe. You’ll be better able to harness its power.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Discussion:

 

I just watched an awesome video of a woman on youtube on America's Got Talent... and she has cancer and a 2% chance of survival.  Her name is Nightbirde if you ever want to watch the video.  She said she is happy she has a 2% chance of survival... because 2 is better than zero !!  She said... "you can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy."  Obviously benzos can cause people to be the exception to that rule.  I know that at least with myself... much of the time... it is not possible for me to be happy... but I can choose to be as happy as possible given the circumstances... even though that might be 70 percent of the time... or 1 percent of the time.  That woman is relaxing and going with the flow.  In a sense... I can do that, too.  Maybe not as much as someone not on benzos or in benzowithdrawals... but to the degree that I am able.  Letting go of trying too hard to control each one of our outcomes on this benzo journey...and not trying to resist things as much... to whatever degree we are able... can free us to be a little bit more happy each day... even if only in spirit because of the times when the benzo brain will not allow us.  It's a choice to love in spite of the pain.  I believe this is what makes even the worst cases of benzowithdrawals not only bearable.... but possible... so relax... and let go... and go with the flow and be strong and courageous... but just realize you can't do it alone.  I believe that is where the spiritual aspect comes into play.  Once I realized that I wasn't alone...I realized I am connected to a power greater than myself... that I can always attempt to rely on which makes it possible for me to accept things... and surrender to them... and to relax... and to go with the flow...knowing that I am not in control anymore.  When I realize and accept that I am no longer in control... then I also free myself from doubting the success and joy of others... because I then realize that they are not alone either... and they can be strengthened and encouraged no matter what their circumstances are at the right time and in the right way.

 

When I surrender control even in the manner in which I attempt to love another or encourage or support them... I get to relax and go with the flow and go along for the ride and receive the gift of being able to witness their journey along with mine... and learn from it... and also be encouraged and strengthened by love and wisdom and compassion.  I can't think of a harder place to be to have the faith to surrender these things and have faith... than while messed up on benzos.  Truly a deep and real faith must be strived for.  I must choose hope even when there is no hope.  That is the depths of the benzo experience.  It's real.  There are times when there is no hope.  It may seem impossible at times... but there will come a time when you or I can hope again.  All we gotta do is choose to hope when that window to choose arrives in our lives.  The windows come and go... but we are not weakened by the continual dismay from going up and down from hope to no hope.  This is strengthening the core of our being.  It feels like it's doing the opposite.  Once we choose hope when we have the ability to do so... more and more is revealed to give us more strength to handle the next phase of not having or feeling hope again.  Since it is permitted here on this board... I will include a few sacred texts that I feel strongly clarifies that we may be continually delivered from our deep dark benzo dives as time goes on... even all of them ... because ALL includes the LAST ONE.  There is an end to all this.

 

The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. (this can be the state of mind we are in... when in dismay from waves never ceasing... it can crush the spirit and break the heart because every time it happens feels like the first time it happened so it feels like the cycles will never stop.  This crushes my spirit.)

 

Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all. (In our case... I see those "many afflictions" as all the waves or health problems we experience during benzo use and withdrawals.  When I "relax and let it flow" I am accepting whatever the benzo affliction may be.  I am believing that a power greater than myself will eventually deliver me out of them ALL... regardless if every single one of them seems at the time like a battle I could never win.)

 

That makes me think of all the windows and waves... or for more severe cases... all the health problems... old ones and new ones worsened by benzos.  Many afflictions.  I believe every time I surrender control of whatever sufferings I am trying to endure... that eventually... they will all end... as I learn more and more to relax as well as I am able... and to go with the flow as well as I am able.  I believe God is near when I am broken hearted and crushed each time I have to go through the "benzo cycle."  When I realize it's all temporary... it makes it possible to let go.  Benzowithdrawals are kinda like the Indy 500 races.  Our bodies are over worked and strained and our minds revved to overheating like we're going 200 miles an hour... and the engine is at risk of being on fire.  We need those pit stops alone the way to make it to the next round of wear and tear.  Surrendering, accepting, and going with the flow are the pit stops that change our tires and refuel us to go more laps around the track.  If I fail to take a pit stop during the laps... I could cause an accident or even crash and get killed.  Love is the fuel in the tank that keeps me going.  Not my own love.  A higher love than mine that keeps me alive... and enables me to keep going.  To keep letting go.  To keep surrendering.  Embrace it.  Take the leap of faith.  Your perspective will change and your mind will be renewed.  Yes... even your benzo mind.  Relax, flow... have faith.  Relax, flow... have faith.  Hold on to faith... (when you can)  When we can't believe...God is still there... and is faithful.  When we can't hold on to those things that encouraged us in the past that the new wave ripped from our hearts... we can know that in time... faith in those things will surface again... after the affliction has run its course...and it is at that moment that we will realize that the faith we thought we lost... was never really gone.  Once again... the benzo brain had us convinced that there was no hope... when in reality... there was and is hope.  Maybe consider going back to the top of this post and reading "Relax and Flow" again.

 

All the pains that try us... are not some strange things that happen for no reason... they are all working together towards something good in the end if we keep holding on to faith.  They are leading to a happy ending.  In fact, who knows... maybe the worse the story is... the more happy the ending will be ?

 

 

Kindly,

j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being Vulnerable

by Melody Beattie

6abcecfaed62fc9748f111a31149feae.jpg

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections—not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

 

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

 

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn’t respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

 

We learn from our mistakes—and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately so we don’t scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a long, hard, seemingly never-ending process to experience and learn... especially for those of us affected to whatever degree by benzos... but just think of the rewards if we don't give up... because even though it doesn't seem like there will be any rewards... that is not true.  That is a lie.  There will be... and we shall not be ashamed.  We have made mistakes with cause... and those who exploit these mistakes will be ashamed as they do so without cause.

 

Kindly,

j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did see Nightbird on AGT.  She has a beautiful voice and the song she sang that she wrote she kept singing, "It's Ok. It's Ok. It's Ok.  It's alright."  Her name is Jane and she has metastatic cancer and she's so young.  She got the golden buzzer from Simon Cowell.  We'll be seeing more of her singing on AGT. 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did see Nightbird on AGT.  She has a beautiful voice and the song she sang that she wrote she kept singing, "It's Ok. It's Ok. It's Ok.  It's alright."  Her name is Jane and she has metastatic cancer and she's so young.  She got the golden buzzer from Simon Cowell.  We'll be seeing more of her singing on AGT.

 

Some people are just simply amazing. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"healing balm to others who walk with us" Wow J! that is truly my desire in a nutshell. :smitten: This thread is speaking directly to me.  :thumbsup:

 

PG

 

Hi PG… I’m so thankful to God you are “hearing things.”  What a wonderful thing.  j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing all of this, validates all the negative emotions without discounting them.

This speaks to my very core. Thank you.

Vic  :-*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing all of this, validates all the negative emotions without discounting them.

This speaks to my very core. Thank you.

Vic  :-*

 

Nice !!  I thank God something spoke to you.      :)

 

 

Kindly,

j

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being Vulnerable

by Melody Beattie

6abcecfaed62fc9748f111a31149feae.jpg

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections—not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

 

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

 

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn’t respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

 

We learn from our mistakes—and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately so we don’t scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a long, hard, seemingly never-ending process to experience and learn... especially for those of us affected to whatever degree by benzos... but just think of the rewards if we don't give up... because even though it doesn't seem like there will be any rewards... that is not true.  That is a lie.  There will be... and we shall not be ashamed.  We have made mistakes with cause... and those who exploit these mistakes will be ashamed as they do so without cause.

 

Kindly,

j

 

I admire you brainpower, JJ.  I'm amazed at your writing.  It's so insightful and inspiring.  My brain feels so tired.  Your brain is amazing.

 

So true, being vulnerable is scary.  I believe that being vulnerable is endearing and helps us realize we all really have a lot in common.  Maybe we should have a thread to share our vulnerabilities, LOL.  Maybe no one would show up. 

 

Thanks again for this thread.  I have a lot to catch up on. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being Vulnerable

by Melody Beattie

6abcecfaed62fc9748f111a31149feae.jpg

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections—not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

 

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

 

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn’t respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

 

We learn from our mistakes—and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately so we don’t scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a long, hard, seemingly never-ending process to experience and learn... especially for those of us affected to whatever degree by benzos... but just think of the rewards if we don't give up... because even though it doesn't seem like there will be any rewards... that is not true.  That is a lie.  There will be... and we shall not be ashamed.  We have made mistakes with cause... and those who exploit these mistakes will be ashamed as they do so without cause.

 

Kindly,

j

 

For the longest time I didn't tell anyone on the forum I'm a recovering alcoholic and that I took Klonopin in amounts that we're far above what was normal, afraid I'd be judged.  But after a time I realized there might be other members who could benefit from my experience, people with addiction issues who could receive hope from my story so I began to open up and not once have I felt judged by the wonderful people on this forum.

 

I'm not proud of what got me here but I'm grateful if I can be a cautionary tale or an inspiration to others who struggle. 

 

Thanks for posting this Jozsef,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being Vulnerable

by Melody Beattie

6abcecfaed62fc9748f111a31149feae.jpg

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections—not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

 

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

 

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn’t respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

 

We learn from our mistakes—and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately so we don’t scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a long, hard, seemingly never-ending process to experience and learn... especially for those of us affected to whatever degree by benzos... but just think of the rewards if we don't give up... because even though it doesn't seem like there will be any rewards... that is not true.  That is a lie.  There will be... and we shall not be ashamed.  We have made mistakes with cause... and those who exploit these mistakes will be ashamed as they do so without cause.

 

Kindly,

j

 

For the longest time I didn't tell anyone on the forum I'm a recovering alcoholic and that I took Klonopin in amounts that we're far above what was normal, afraid I'd be judged.  But after a time I realized there might be other members who could benefit from my experience, people with addiction issues who could receive hope from my story so I began to open up and not once have I felt judged by the wonderful people on this forum.

 

I'm not proud of what got me here but I'm grateful if I can be a cautionary tale or an inspiration to others who struggle. 

 

Thanks for posting this Jozsef,

 

This is inspiring, Pamster.  I'm glad you shared it and never felt judged.  Thanks for sharing it here.  I binge-drank on and off for almost 2 years.  It was the craziest time of my life.  I was not a high-functioning drinker.  Plus, there were some years of hardcore drugs, too shocking to mention.

 

I'm proud of you, Pamster for quitting all of it.  You're a strong woman. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being Vulnerable

by Melody Beattie

6abcecfaed62fc9748f111a31149feae.jpg

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections—not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

 

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

 

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn’t respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

 

We learn from our mistakes—and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately so we don’t scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a long, hard, seemingly never-ending process to experience and learn... especially for those of us affected to whatever degree by benzos... but just think of the rewards if we don't give up... because even though it doesn't seem like there will be any rewards... that is not true.  That is a lie.  There will be... and we shall not be ashamed.  We have made mistakes with cause... and those who exploit these mistakes will be ashamed as they do so without cause.

 

Kindly,

j

 

I admire you brainpower, JJ.  I'm amazed at your writing.  It's so insightful and inspiring.  My brain feels so tired.  Your brain is amazing.

 

So true, being vulnerable is scary.  I believe that being vulnerable is endearing and helps us realize we all really have a lot in common.  Maybe we should have a thread to share our vulnerabilities, LOL.  Maybe no one would show up. 

 

Thanks again for this thread.  I have a lot to catch up on.

 

Brain power ?  Are u sure u got the right jj ?  Thanks, though.  That was hilarious !! … when u said maybe we should start a vulnerability thread… maybe no one would show up…. 🤣🎟  That was purty funny Glittering1.  Be vulnerable… are you hiding your sense of humor here ?  Believe me when I tell you… my brain is scrambled eggs… with cheeeeeese !  he he… I mean… I say… I mean… like someone hit me in the noggin with a big bottle of benzos !!  Vulnerable… hmmm … I like this quote:

 

By the way… it’s hot outside !!

 

Foghorn-Leghorn-1.png

 

“Courage is vulnerability. Vulnerability is courage. Like shadow and light, neither one can exist without the other.” – Wai Lan Yuen

 

 

Kindly,

j

Link to comment
Share on other sites


×
×
  • Create New...