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The Long Hold Support Group


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Hi Charlie,

 

I had a bad day on Christmas while long holding and re-reading this thread really helped me to push through. Today is exactly 16 weeks since my hold and today I am doing very well. It was an interesting time, I have to say. I did have some rough times around the three month mark.

 

In all my research on long holding I didn't find what can happen till / if we get to a new baseline, but I am intending to share my story once I get there!

 

Naf1983

 

Hi, VNM! I could not meditate in silence either. I listen to guided MBSR meditations. I'm very sorry to hear about your back problems. I sure hope you get better soon. :smitten:

 

Hi, everyone. I am popping in to say I'm glad to see this group started up again. I think it is important for newer members to know that mostly when we talk about long holds we don't mean weeks, we mean months. A few weeks would be a short hold. In my own case, I held for 6 months before I saw improvement. This group was very active back then. I was on every day while I held on and hoped for change. Two things helped me through that. First, this group and the other long holders reporting their improvements (after long holds). Also, my doctor's words, "The brain likes predicability." Every time we make a change, we stress the brain. Sometimes we like to tweak this or that with our doses thinking it will make things better. But the problem isn't so much the dose as how much change our brain has been forced to endure. But, given time and care, brains can heal, just like any other part of the body. :thumbsup:

 

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I really needed to read a positive experience with holding! I'm only holding since two months, so hoping I might feel better at 6 months.

:smitten:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi long holders,

I used to be a regular here at LHSG I have not been on in quite some time. I had friend's here who I really loved and I miss them and wonder how they are. This was a very active group at one time and I really miss talking to my old buddies. I wish I could say I was making this post as a success story but quite the contrary. Unfortunately I've had a set back. I have had to increase my dosage of Xanax and I'm very disheartened by that. I am a very slow taperer and that was working very well for me. I had gotten down to just under .5 mgs of Xanax a day and then I got hit with a very bad POTS ( POSTURAL ORTHOSTATIC TACHYCARDIA SYNDROME) which has raised my blood pressure and is causing me extreme stress and anxiety. It's very hard to live with this disorder and I had been in a remission for a few years and now I'm being hit very hard. As much as I didn't want to go back up in dosage and undo all the many many months of hard work I felt I had to... So here I am holding a new dose .75 mgs of Xanax

I wish all the people here the best of luck and keep fighting the good fight. Just don't beat yourselves up if you have set backs it happens or you need to adjust things.. It's ok to do what you need to do for your given circumstances at the time.

 

All my best long holders,

Trishy ❤️

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Hi long holders,

I used to be a regular here at LHSG I have not been on in quite some time. I had friend's here who I really loved and I miss them and wonder how they are. This was a very active group at one time and I really miss talking to my old buddies. I wish I could say I was making this post as a success story but quite the contrary. Unfortunately I've had a set back. I have had to increase my dosage of Xanax and I'm very disheartened by that. I am a very slow taperer and that was working very well for me. I had gotten down to just under .5 mgs of Xanax a day and then I got hit with a very bad POTS ( POSTURAL ORTHOSTATIC TACHYCARDIA SYNDROME) which has raised my blood pressure and is causing me extreme stress and anxiety. It's very hard to live with this disorder and I had been in a remission for a few years and now I'm being hit very hard. As much as I didn't want to go back up in dosage and undo all the many many months of hard work I felt I had to... So here I am holding a new dose .75 mgs of Xanax

I wish all the people here the best of luck and keep fighting the good fight. Just don't beat yourselves up if you have set backs it happens or you need to adjust things.. It's ok to do what you need to do for your given circumstances at the time.

 

All my best long holders,

Trishy ❤️

 

Hi Trishy,

Good to hear from you I have followed your journey since I found BB in 2020.  I am so sorry you have had a set back you have come a long way.

I'm wishing you all the best and a quick recovery.

🤗

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Hi long holders,

I used to be a regular here at LHSG I have not been on in quite some time. I had friend's here who I really loved and I miss them and wonder how they are. This was a very active group at one time and I really miss talking to my old buddies. I wish I could say I was making this post as a success story but quite the contrary. Unfortunately I've had a set back. I have had to increase my dosage of Xanax and I'm very disheartened by that. I am a very slow taperer and that was working very well for me. I had gotten down to just under .5 mgs of Xanax a day and then I got hit with a very bad POTS ( POSTURAL ORTHOSTATIC TACHYCARDIA SYNDROME) which has raised my blood pressure and is causing me extreme stress and anxiety. It's very hard to live with this disorder and I had been in a remission for a few years and now I'm being hit very hard. As much as I didn't want to go back up in dosage and undo all the many many months of hard work I felt I had to... So here I am holding a new dose .75 mgs of Xanax

I wish all the people here the best of luck and keep fighting the good fight. Just don't beat yourselves up if you have set backs it happens or you need to adjust things.. It's ok to do what you need to do for your given circumstances at the time.

 

All my best long holders,

Trishy ❤️

Hi Trishy  :hug: I often wondered about you and how you were doing sorry you been hit so bad, I am also in the s**t and doing a long hold 4 months in and feel worse than I did at 2 months, now contemplating whether to just sit here or try a small up-dose myself, a small cut, or just keep  holding, not doing FA yet as I'm far to rough but at least one of us 'old time LHG' Members you know  is still here me  :) .

 

 

Nova  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

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Hi long holders,

I used to be a regular here at LHSG I have not been on in quite some time. I had friend's here who I really loved and I miss them and wonder how they are. This was a very active group at one time and I really miss talking to my old buddies. I wish I could say I was making this post as a success story but quite the contrary. Unfortunately I've had a set back. I have had to increase my dosage of Xanax and I'm very disheartened by that. I am a very slow taperer and that was working very well for me. I had gotten down to just under .5 mgs of Xanax a day and then I got hit with a very bad POTS ( POSTURAL ORTHOSTATIC TACHYCARDIA SYNDROME) which has raised my blood pressure and is causing me extreme stress and anxiety. It's very hard to live with this disorder and I had been in a remission for a few years and now I'm being hit very hard. As much as I didn't want to go back up in dosage and undo all the many many months of hard work I felt I had to... So here I am holding a new dose .75 mgs of Xanax

I wish all the people here the best of luck and keep fighting the good fight. Just don't beat yourselves up if you have set backs it happens or you need to adjust things.. It's ok to do what you need to do for your given circumstances at the time.

 

All my best long holders,

Trishy ❤️

 

Hi Trishy,

Good to hear from you I have followed your journey since I found BB in 2020.  I am so sorry you have had a set back you have come a long way.

I'm wishing you all the best and a quick recovery.

🤗

Hi Diane

My journey has been long and hard at times but there's nothing easy about benzo wd🙄

 

Thank you for the well wishes I appreciate it! ❤️

Trishy ❤️

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Hi long holders,

I used to be a regular here at LHSG I have not been on in quite some time. I had friend's here who I really loved and I miss them and wonder how they are. This was a very active group at one time and I really miss talking to my old buddies. I wish I could say I was making this post as a success story but quite the contrary. Unfortunately I've had a set back. I have had to increase my dosage of Xanax and I'm very disheartened by that. I am a very slow taperer and that was working very well for me. I had gotten down to just under .5 mgs of Xanax a day and then I got hit with a very bad POTS ( POSTURAL ORTHOSTATIC TACHYCARDIA SYNDROME) which has raised my blood pressure and is causing me extreme stress and anxiety. It's very hard to live with this disorder and I had been in a remission for a few years and now I'm being hit very hard. As much as I didn't want to go back up in dosage and undo all the many many months of hard work I felt I had to... So here I am holding a new dose .75 mgs of Xanax

I wish all the people here the best of luck and keep fighting the good fight. Just don't beat yourselves up if you have set backs it happens or you need to adjust things.. It's ok to do what you need to do for your given circumstances at the time.

 

All my best long holders,

Trishy ❤️

Hi Trishy  :hug: I often wondered about you and how you were doing sorry you been hit so bad, I am also in the s**t and doing a long hold 4 months in and feel worse than I did at 2 months, now contemplating whether to just sit here or try a small up-dose myself, a small cut, or just keep  holding, not doing FA yet as I'm far to rough but at least one of us 'old time LHG' Members you know  is still here me  :) .

 

 

Nova  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

Hey Nova!

So good to hear from an old buddie! I think about our old crew a lot and wonder how they're all doing. I wonder about Mary and Stut and well everyone. I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time right now but you're a fighter. You're still here and giving it the good fight. Remember though we do what we have to do to feel our best. Yes we want off but when our health is suffering then tapering can be put off for awhile longer and if your need to listen to your own body and gut about whether to stay where you're at, or cut or go up.. you know it is what it is and we do the best we can. One day at a time my friend.

You keep on keeping on lady, you're tough💪

Sending you lots of love

Trishy❤️

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm so sorry to hear about your setback, Trishy.  I am praying for you.  I know you will get through this.

Your posts are always so hopeful and encouraging to me. 

Jimbabwe

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Hi Nova, Trishy and everyone. I seldom come here and can't write much because a lot of tendinitis and issues. I read a few posts. Just to let you know that I still keep tapering super slow as that's all I can tolerate and despite that I have such bad sxs. My case is not common I know, too much kindling coming off several times so nobody needs to have it this hard (writing this for new members in case they read). Nova, I would hold a bit longer or make a very small cut but I wouldn't updose now. I'm not against an updose if it's done fast after the last cut, but after four months.... hmmmmm I don't know, I don't think it would make you feel better. You've been doing this long enough anyway so I'm sure you'll find the right answer for you. Good luck to everyone.
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I'm so sorry to hear about your setback, Trishy.  I am praying for you.  I know you will get through this.

Your posts are always so hopeful and encouraging to me. 

Jimbabwe

Awe thank you so much. I appreciate the prayers I can really use them right now. I'm in a tough battle at the moment but I hold  on to hope and to God.

Trishy❤️

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Hi all. How's everyone's hold going?

 

I'm still stuck at 0.3 mg K after all these shocks to my poor CNS. I haven't slept since this summer. I'm impressed I'm still here tbh. Still struggling with all the symptoms but sometimes they seem to lessen a little and have been able to hold a conversation here and there lately.

 

Hugs & healing  :smitten:

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Hi all. How's everyone's hold going?

 

I'm still stuck at 0.3 mg K after all these shocks to my poor CNS. I haven't slept since this summer. I'm impressed I'm still here tbh. Still struggling with all the symptoms but sometimes they seem to lessen a little and have been able to hold a conversation here and there lately.

 

Hugs & healing  :smitten:

 

I'm sorry you're going through that. I was in terror and didn't sleep for months. After some months I eventually stabilized and I hope you will too.

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Hi Nova, Trishy and everyone. I seldom come here and can't write much because a lot of tendinitis and issues. I read a few posts. Just to let you know that I still keep tapering super slow as that's all I can tolerate and despite that I have such bad sxs. My case is not common I know, too much kindling coming off several times so nobody needs to have it this hard (writing this for new members in case they read). Nova, I would hold a bit longer or make a very small cut but I wouldn't updose now. I'm not against an updose if it's done fast after the last cut, but after four months.... hmmmmm I don't know, I don't think it would make you feel better. You've been doing this long enough anyway so I'm sure you'll find the right answer for you. Good luck to everyone.

Hi VNM!

I miss the old crew, nice to see you still here and working at your taper... As for me well I may never get off this garbage with my health set back. I am in a bad POTS flare up and my blood pressure keeps spiking high. I'm living a nightmare. I went from really enjoying my life to feeling completely hopeless. I'm a fighter but for now it's one day at a time sometimes one minute at a time. If I decide to taper again it will probably not be this year. I don't know if I will ever get off my benzo but I know that somewhere in the future I will try again.

Trishy❤️

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Hi Nova, Trishy and everyone. I seldom come here and can't write much because a lot of tendinitis and issues. I read a few posts. Just to let you know that I still keep tapering super slow as that's all I can tolerate and despite that I have such bad sxs. My case is not common I know, too much kindling coming off several times so nobody needs to have it this hard (writing this for new members in case they read). Nova, I would hold a bit longer or make a very small cut but I wouldn't updose now. I'm not against an updose if it's done fast after the last cut, but after four months.... hmmmmm I don't know, I don't think it would make you feel better. You've been doing this long enough anyway so I'm sure you'll find the right answer for you. Good luck to everyone.

Hi VNM!

I miss the old crew, nice to see you still here and working at your taper... As for me well I may never get off this garbage with my health set back. I am in a bad POTS flare up and my blood pressure keeps spiking high. I'm living a nightmare. I went from really enjoying my life to feeling completely hopeless. I'm a fighter but for now it's one day at a time sometimes one minute at a time. If I decide to taper again it will probably not be this year. I don't know if I will ever get off my benzo but I know that somewhere in the future I will try again.

Trishy❤️

Hi VNM :hug: I actually cut a few ago .5mg , :)

 

Nova  :smitten:

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Hi can anyone help me please I need some advice on my taper and my story please

 

I believe in your initial post you mentioned you reinstated Ativan, at what dose and how long ago?  Are you interested in doing a very long hold, is that why you’ve posted to this thread?  We’re happy to help, just tell us what you need.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello darkness my old friend.. 🥹 Well here I am back in my old stomping grounds once again in a battle I feel I may not be able to win. I had high hopes at one time of getting off my Xanax but a recent health set back has me believing it might not be possible for me but something in me says I will try again.. I'm feeling hurt and broken and very nostalgic for the times when my old buddies here would rally together and build one another up. So happy that they've all moved on and are living life but I miss all of them dearly. So hey old crew just in case you see this pathetic post from trishy just know I'm still cheering you on and thinking about you!

Trishy ♥️

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Yes hi my story is I was on Ativan 1mg for 9 years and last few months added .50 I did a 10 month taper but cutting 50 percent and holding bad on my part but I’ve always managed to stabalize it wasn’t till I jumped of that I really got suicidal got scared and rienstated at .12 Ativan the number I jumped from held for a month than upped dose to .25 and been holding here for another month my symptoms are still very bad doesn’t make me functional enough by the way I was only off for 6 days after I rienstated what can I do please will I stabalize at this amount I was very stable and had nice windows of my self at this number when I held here for 3 months it’s the jump that set my brain off please give me some info thank u
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[15...]

Hi Rino12345

 

I’ve been through a few of your threads to gain more information, and I would just like to repeat a question Pamster asked in one of your threads where you didn’t provide an answer - how many time a day are you dosing the Ativan?

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I’ve been dosing once a day in the daytime for 11 months now I haven’t taken any doses at night for 11 months I rienstated and I am holding at .25 now it’s a month and a half on .25 I had windows of 100 percent stability at this dose before I jumped
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[15...]

Are you noticing an uptick in symptoms as you get further away from your previous dose and closer to your next?

 

Ativan is a very short half life Benzodiazepine, leaving you system very fast, so my concern would be that you are only dosing once a day, which may also possibly be causing inter-dose withdrawals. You are also dosing in the daytime, so I wonder if this wouldn’t also be affecting your sleep if the drug is leaving your system in the night and unknowingly causing symptoms to flair. Do you sleep well, and how do you feel in the mornings and up until you dose again? You won’t stabilise if you’re continually putting yourself through inter-dose withdrawals. I’m surprised you’re only dosing once a day!

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Hello All,

 

I am beginning a long hold.  And, I am very disheartened, but I realize I have to do it.

 

My taper began too rapidly.  It did catch up with me, and hard.  I was up dosed a few months ago, and then decided to begin a liquid micro taper...very, very slow.  But, it caught up with me also because I had never stabilized.  AKA resulted.  Since day one, starting in a pretty bad state of tolerance, I have not been stable.

 

I started on 1.5 mg Clonazepam.  In a year, I am only down to .961 mg.  I'm sure if I had the education I have now, I would have made far different decisions.  I have learned over time...but, during the time learning, many mistakes took place.

 

I have heard one benzo coach in particular state that holding too long is doing a disservice and prolonging the suffering.  I certainly hope this is not the case.  That is what has me nervous right now.

 

I could definitely use support during this hold.  I do hope there are others out there who can relate to my situation.

 

Warmly,

F

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Hi Faith,

 

I think holding longer is a good thing. The brain likes predictability and stability. I held for more than three months after my initial rapid cut of 40% on doctor's guidance. It did help. I got a lot of support also from reading the old long hold thread with Valley Um and BeGood and others.

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Hi Faith,

 

I think holding longer is a good thing. The brain likes predictability and stability. I held for more than three months after my initial rapid cut of 40% on doctor's guidance. It did help. I got a lot of support also from reading the old long hold thread with Valley Um and BeGood and others.

 

Hi Cocodot,

 

Holding is going to be difficult to get my head around.  I know myself...always wanting to be moving in a forward direction.  Wanting to know that I am 'doing' something.  Holding is doing something, but it is not an 'active' doing.  And, that I have a difficult time with.  That and wondering what stabilization will look/feel like because I really have no idea.  I have read what it feels like, but it is so hard to try to imagine feeling it after being so highly symptomatic for so long.  If I can in fact get to a place where I feel even 60% better than how I am now, I will be elated.  To be able to watch TV again....listen to music....leave my house without the terror associated with it.  See life through a clear lens and not one that is distorted.  Oh my...tears come to my eyes just thinking about that.

 

I have now read that thread, and it has helped much.  Now, I know that I will flip flop back and forth because my brain is still very fragile and very willing to feel panicked to get this drug out...but, I will have to be strong and recognize that what I have done up to this point has not worked but has hindered me.  I can hardly wait to see the first signs of results from doing this.  I know it will take time for me....months.

 

Thank you again, for your reply.

 

I revised this reply because the first one had too much negativity.  I am in a wave right now...so, I really need to put space between my thoughts and what I write. 

 

Warmly,

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Hi Faith, I understand wanting to do something but holding is doing something and giving your brain a break. I only used for 12 days in October after very very very bad medical advice. I checked three sources and the pharmacist didn't say anything either. In my country, no other doctor seemed to have prescribed or encouraged it and most pharmacists (have to) warn you. My withdrawal has been terrible though. And there are no resources like private clinics and benzo wise doctors or therapists or at home IVs and so on like in the US to try.
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