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Hallo lovely buddies. I’m in such a dark place that I don’t think going be able to climb out of this one,  don’t want drag you down, so I’ll duck out for a while. Think maybe my brain is permanently damaged by this, how can it still be this bad 40 months later just feel I’m slowly drowning with no escape😢

Leann time to read the success stories thread of former buddies like you. They healed after 40 months. Please go read them for encouragement. Don’t just throw in the towel on your healing. Didn’t you just say a couple of days ago that even if people don’t believe in their healing that they heal anyway?

Remember how encouraged you were?

❤️🌹😉

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Good morning, LadyDen and all other buddies in the group. I’m in another challenging wave since my heart went in to AFib while on my Florida vacation a couple of weeks ago. I’m waiting to get in to see the cardiologist, but my fear and health anxiety are raging!

 

I’m wearing a heart monitor for 2 weeks, and I’ve had no more AFib. I have had spells of my heart fluttering, but I’ve had that on and off since getting off of Valium. Could those symptoms have been a real heart issue as opposed to withdrawal? I keeping asking myself was I ignoring real health issues?

 

The worst case scenario intrusive thoughts abound! Enough negativity! On a positive note, I’m functioning and participating in my life and overcoming the challenges.

 

I think of all of you often, and you are all in my prayers daily. Please pray for me as well. My faith snd hope are strong, and I know we will all heal.

 

Love, hugs, and prayers,

 

Sandy🥰🙏

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Sandy:

 

So sorry you are experiencing a wave!  I am thinking that your heart fluttering was probably to do with withdrawal.  My flutters almost daily for a period of time, and I know it is withdrawal related because it always happens around the same time along with some other symptoms.  Does that make sense.  When will you see the cardiologist?    Glad you are able to function and participate in life even while having some withdrawal symptoms.  Good for you!  I am praying for you!

 

Leeann:  I hate to hear that you are feeling so down.  What can we do?  The intensity of your symptoms seems to be waxing and waning quite often.  Mine do the same thing, and I have to remind myself that just a few days ago I was feeling pretty good.  Like right now I am in a rough patch, but four days ago I was taking my daughter to college.  I have to remember those times when I start feeling like this is never going to end.  It will end.  We are healing. 

 

LiveLife:  How are you doing today?  Is the fear still there?    Hoping you are having a better day today!!!!

 

I am having a tough day, but I am trying to stay positive!!!!  I am healing.....I am safe......I am going to be okay. 

 

LadyDen, GG, Kanoba, Deanna, JBen, Becks and everyone else, I hope you are having a manageable day and are able to do at least one thing that brings a smile to your face.

 

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Sandy,

It sounds like you're getting on with your life very nicely. I'm so sorry you're having this heart fluttering. I get the same thing every day and also palpitations they had gone away for a while but came back in the last number of months. I think it's probably still part of your healing process. Let's hope for the best.

 

Lisa,

I'm sorry to hear you're still in a rough patch. Last night for a few hours I had a bit of break from the fear. When it was time for bed it all came back and today it's raging. It's so hard to hang on but I think these brakes are a good sign I'm trying to stay positive. But I'm in tears again.

 

Leann,

Sounds like you hit a rough patch again just hang on you had good days they're going to return. This whole process isn't easy and takes way too long.

 

LadyDen,

I did have a bit of a break last night from the fear but the physical symptoms really ramped up even though that was the case, I felt more positive but then it all came back. Struggling so hard today. How are you doing?

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

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Thanks so much, Decatur and LL. I so appreciate the support from this group.

 

Wishing everyone a good day and week. Sending hugs of healing and support for all.

 

Sandy

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Hello all, especially Sandy.  Sandy, I had Afib way before benzos came into my life and ended up having an ablation which pretty much got rid of it.  Every now and then I will have a flutter or two, and then it stops.  I actually purchased a Kardia instrument which I use to keep track of heart activity.  It was recommended by my cardio doctor, so you might want to check with your doctor about it.  Don’t worry too much, as many buddies have all sorts of blips and flips.  You probably just had too much sun and over exertion while enjoying your family vacation.  I have been pretty ill since Friday when I was in the heat for too long.

 

Now for all, I am really scared as to where I am right now in this horrible wave.  As most of you know, I was diagnosed with a UTI back in mid-June and put on Clindamycin, then Ceftin when I did not respond to the Clindamycin……a urine culture showed that it was a good antibiotic for the ecoli infection.  When I had another round of symptoms and another culture showed that Macrobid would be better I was on that  for five days, which really made me feel sicker.  In the meantime and while all this UTI stuff was going on, I had the half completed uterine biopsy surgery at which time I was put on Zofran for nausea, propofol, and unbeknownst to me until afterward, a steroid called Dexamethasone!!!    I read where it is six times the strength of prednisone. 

 

Plus I was given two doses of Diflucan for the yeast infection I got from the antibiotics.  What a mess I am in!!!!!  I am so very ill today that I went and had the drive in two day Covid test, which I will get the results from tomorrow morning.

 

So I am feeling as awful as I did in the acute stage and wonder if I will ever be well again.  I am 75 and my latest ER visit of last Thursday showed nothing other than an increase in red blood cells, and some white cells in my urine.  My pelvic and abdominal cat scan showed no diverticulitis, no bleeding, and liver and kidney functions fine.

 

I just cannot grasp how I can be this sick now at 29 months, but I do know that antibiotics and steroids can really screw up the CNS, and for how long no one can predict.  I also had a weird thing happen with my feet twice….I walked outside and immediately my feet turned bright red and little white spots popped up on them?  Doctor was shocked and could not fathom what caused it….actually I had walked outside to get in the car and by the time I arrived at his office ten minutes later, my feet had turned red with the white spots.

 

It seems as though my whole body is reacting to everything and anything.  I now have the awful headache and benzo flue symptoms that I suffered with for so long.  Hard to believe that on May 5th I wrote on milestones and celebrations an almost success story? 

 

Prayers will be received and cherished as I really don’t know where all this is headed.

 

Hugs,

 

Gg

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I'm sending up prayers and best wishes for all of you.

 

GG, your suffering is going to end. You've had SOOO many meds and difficult appointments that created a chaotic type situation in your gut and nervous system.  That's a whole lot of stress on you! Anyhow, you already know how I feel about you and you know I care.  This will pass....in the meantime, hold on and know we are all here.

 

Decatur, I hope you will soon begin to regain your footing after the big college move in day outing in the heat.  You'll bounce back.That was a BIG day so give your body time to recover.  Too bad we can't do things without so much blow back.

 

Lady Den, I'm wishing you days of walking and exploring your limits again. We all love you!  :smitten:

 

Live Life and Leann, I'm hoping you both find some comfort and relief soon. What a process! 

 

SJS, J Ben and Deanna, best wishes to you too for a good start to the week.

 

 

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Dear, sweet GG,

 

I’m so sorry to hear how much you have been through. My heart aches for you, friend. It is so hard to believe how 29 months, and 31 for me, is not enough time to heal from taking a drug we took as directed.

 

I too have had moderate reactions to steroids and antibiotics. It seems as though it doesn’t take much to trigger a wave of symptoms.

 

Thank you for sharing about your heart. Im really scared something is horribly wrong with mine. I am having to take Eliquis and a beta blocker until I see the cardiologist. They are making me dizzy and very tired.

 

My Apple Watch alerted me about the AFib. I can do an EKG on my watch. I was so grateful my son, Zack, was vacationing with us. He was able to help me get a grip.

 

Please know I’m praying for you daily. Message me anytime you just need to talk or vent.

 

Sandy

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Update:  Just spoke to my doctor’s office and my urine culture showed positive with 100,000 white cells.  And, the only antibiotics that would help is Macrobid and the sulfa drugs I am allergic to.  Macrobid made me deathly sick so I can’t take that.  I am using D-Mannose and Pyridium but don’t know if that will help me now.  My doctor assured me that they will pursue other avenues if I don’t feel better in another day or two.  I see my OBGYN tomorrow so will see what she has to say.  I have never had this much problem with a UTI, except in 2018 right before the benzo injury.  I was hospitalized for three days and given some antibiotic via IV.

 

Take care dear buddies, I am thinking and praying for each of you.

 

GG

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Our dear, GG!  This is just too much!!!  We love you and want you to feel better!!!  Thank goodness for your great doctors!  They will figure this out!  It sounds like you might have a couple of different things going on causing the perfect storm.  The antibiotics, the steroids, and the infection itself are probably wreaking havoc on your nervous system causing you to feel even worse.  I am praying for you!! God is going to see all of us through this mess.  I will be 29 months off in a week, and as you know, I am struggling mightily.  I am with you!!!  I too was about to write a success story in May.  Now I am hanging on for dear life.    Please keep us updated on your appt w/ your OBGYN!  Much love to you!!!!

 

Lisa

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Thank you, Sweet Lisa.  I sure hope we are close to that final window!  Let’s drag each other over the finish line and out of this horror story😻😍😻😍🙏😍🙏.

 

The first lemonade is on me!!!!

 

Love and hugs,

 

Bonnie

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Gg.

 

The ups and downs you’re going through sound heart wrenching. I find strength the way you articulate and that makes me think the person behind the screen is gonna kick this benzo S**** a**. Know I am heading back to school and will be offering up prayers for you then -and keep you in my ❤️ always. You’re in my thoughts and I wait with you in solidarity until your day comes.

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Kanoba, your words have touched me to my core and have brought some long held back tears to the surface.  I so wish I could reach out and hug you, I truly do.

 

You are in my heart forever😍😍😍😍

 

Hugs,

 

GG

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GG, it must be so uncomfortable and painful to still be having UTI problems.  I know how sick that can make someone feel because I used to get them when I was younger.  Drink a big glass of pure cranberry juice everyday.  My feet used to get beet red too when I got off the benzo's.  I know what's causing mine.  It's Lupus.  I was diagnosed with a blood circulation problem.  I have an antibody attacking my blood vessels causing all my circulation problems. 
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Oh GG I just need to join in and say that I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I agree with what the others have said in that all those antibiotics and steroids are punching you down.  I pray your Drs find the right med to get rid of that infection FAST! Please take care of yourself GG and hope you feel much better very soon!  Please keep us updated.  We LOVE you GG and we want you to get back to your normal healed self. 
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My Dearest GG,

Thank you so much for sharing all of this with us. I'm so sorry for your struggles. I was looking to you for encouragement because you were doing so well. I know you're going to get back there. I agree with everyone else about you're having good doctors, and this is going to get figured out and you're going to heal. You might be in a bit of a wave too from everything that's happened, or a flare up but I'm sure in time and probably not that much time it's going to settle down for you, as it has in the past. I'm right there with you suffering so much and hoping for all of us that we can see better days very very soon. I'm keeping you in my prayers. Please let us know how you're doing. Sending you warm love and healing hugs!

 

LiveLife

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Will be admitted to the hospital for an IV antibiotic!  Doctors think the perforated uterine wall may be allowing bacteria to get out into the blood stream.

 

Very ill so glad to get this taken care of…..doctors worried about sepsis!!!

 

Hugs and love,

 

Gg

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GG:  Praying for you right now!  Glad you are getting the care you need!  Hopefully the hospital visit will be a short one!!!  Much love!!!

 

Lisa

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Good morning, LadyDen and all other buddies in the group. I’m in another challenging wave since my heart went in to AFib while on my Florida vacation a couple of weeks ago. I’m waiting to get in to see the cardiologist, but my fear and health anxiety are raging!

 

I’m wearing a heart monitor for 2 weeks, and I’ve had no more AFib. I have had spells of my heart fluttering, but I’ve had that on and off since getting off of Valium. Could those symptoms have been a real heart issue as opposed to withdrawal? I keeping asking myself was I ignoring real health issues?

 

The worst case scenario intrusive thoughts abound! Enough negativity! On a positive note, I’m functioning and participating in my life and overcoming the challenges.

 

I think of all of you often, and you are all in my prayers daily. Please pray for me as well. My faith snd hope are strong, and I know we will all heal.

 

Love, hugs, and prayers,

 

Sandy🥰🙏

Hello Sandy dear. IMO I think it was WD paying a quick visit. These symptoms are culprits for making appearances like that as well as mimicking other diseases. But it sounds like your doctor is on it to figure it out. So that will hopefully give you some peace of mind. Also it will rule out anything serious. Those holter monitors are great for catching even little abnormalities. So, when all tests are in and doctor say all is well then you’ll know it’s WD and you can then relax your mind as far as health anxiety. I wish you to have that peace so you can reduce your stress. Please keep us informed. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. Having a possible heart issue would stress anyone out, let alone while wrestling with WD. So I say….rest up and just go on about your days as if all is well. When the scary anxiety shows up fight it with positives such as telling yourself that you are safe and you are healing nicely.

It’s great to hear that you’re enjoying life again. That will also help reduce worrying.

Sending you love and hugs! ❤️🤗

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Sandy:

 

So sorry you are experiencing a wave!  I am thinking that your heart fluttering was probably to do with withdrawal.  My flutters almost daily for a period of time, and I know it is withdrawal related because it always happens around the same time along with some other symptoms.  Does that make sense.  When will you see the cardiologist?    Glad you are able to function and participate in life even while having some withdrawal symptoms.  Good for you!  I am praying for you!

 

Leeann:  I hate to hear that you are feeling so down.  What can we do?  The intensity of your symptoms seems to be waxing and waning quite often.  Mine do the same thing, and I have to remind myself that just a few days ago I was feeling pretty good.  Like right now I am in a rough patch, but four days ago I was taking my daughter to college.  I have to remember those times when I start feeling like this is never going to end.  It will end.  We are healing. 

 

LiveLife:  How are you doing today?  Is the fear still there?    Hoping you are having a better day today!!!!

 

I am having a tough day, but I am trying to stay positive!!!!  I am healing.....I am safe......I am going to be okay. 

 

LadyDen, GG, Kanoba, Deanna, JBen, Becks and everyone else, I hope you are having a manageable day and are able to do at least one thing that brings a smile to your face.

Yes I’m feeling better than the weekend. So I’m just taking it easy. Trying to walk a bit ea h day. It’s hit or miss but I’m not giving up. Hope you have a better day today. You are healing….you are safe….you are alright! I tell myself that too. Why? Because it’s true! Sending you all the love you can hold. ❤️🌹🙏

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Sandy,

It sounds like you're getting on with your life very nicely. I'm so sorry you're having this heart fluttering. I get the same thing every day and also palpitations they had gone away for a while but came back in the last number of months. I think it's probably still part of your healing process. Let's hope for the best.

 

Lisa,

I'm sorry to hear you're still in a rough patch. Last night for a few hours I had a bit of break from the fear. When it was time for bed it all came back and today it's raging. It's so hard to hang on but I think these brakes are a good sign I'm trying to stay positive. But I'm in tears again.

 

Leann,

Sounds like you hit a rough patch again just hang on you had good days they're going to return. This whole process isn't easy and takes way too long.

 

LadyDen,

I did have a bit of a break last night from the fear but the physical symptoms really ramped up even though that was the case, I felt more positive but then it all came back. Struggling so hard today. How are you doing?

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

I’m doing fine. So happy to hear it let up enough for you to have some positivity. Yay for those breaks! Right? Aren’t they heavenly! Wishing you a long window soon. Hopefully the permanent window is well on its way for us all. Can’t wait!

Stay strong, Live! ❤️🌹🙏

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Hello all, especially Sandy.  Sandy, I had Afib way before benzos came into my life and ended up having an ablation which pretty much got rid of it.  Every now and then I will have a flutter or two, and then it stops.  I actually purchased a Kardia instrument which I use to keep track of heart activity.  It was recommended by my cardio doctor, so you might want to check with your doctor about it.  Don’t worry too much, as many buddies have all sorts of blips and flips.  You probably just had too much sun and over exertion while enjoying your family vacation.  I have been pretty ill since Friday when I was in the heat for too long.

 

Now for all, I am really scared as to where I am right now in this horrible wave.  As most of you know, I was diagnosed with a UTI back in mid-June and put on Clindamycin, then Ceftin when I did not respond to the Clindamycin……a urine culture showed that it was a good antibiotic for the ecoli infection.  When I had another round of symptoms and another culture showed that Macrobid would be better I was on that  for five days, which really made me feel sicker.  In the meantime and while all this UTI stuff was going on, I had the half completed uterine biopsy surgery at which time I was put on Zofran for nausea, propofol, and unbeknownst to me until afterward, a steroid called Dexamethasone!!!    I read where it is six times the strength of prednisone. 

 

Plus I was given two doses of Diflucan for the yeast infection I got from the antibiotics.  What a mess I am in!!!!!  I am so very ill today that I went and had the drive in two day Covid test, which I will get the results from tomorrow morning.

 

So I am feeling as awful as I did in the acute stage and wonder if I will ever be well again.  I am 75 and my latest ER visit of last Thursday showed nothing other than an increase in red blood cells, and some white cells in my urine.  My pelvic and abdominal cat scan showed no diverticulitis, no bleeding, and liver and kidney functions fine.

 

I just cannot grasp how I can be this sick now at 29 months, but I do know that antibiotics and steroids can really screw up the CNS, and for how long no one can predict.  I also had a weird thing happen with my feet twice….I walked outside and immediately my feet turned bright red and little white spots popped up on them?  Doctor was shocked and could not fathom what caused it….actually I had walked outside to get in the car and by the time I arrived at his office ten minutes later, my feet had turned red with the white spots.

 

It seems as though my whole body is reacting to everything and anything.  I now have the awful headache and benzo flue symptoms that I suffered with for so long.  Hard to believe that on May 5th I wrote on milestones and celebrations an almost success story? 

 

Prayers will be received and cherished as I really don’t know where all this is headed.

 

Hugs,

 

Gg

GG my dear friend. It will all be alright! Please believe that. Don’t let these flare ups rob you of your victorious healing. And I honestly think that’s what this is….a flare up from all the medications you’ve recently received. ANY one of those could have caused this. My bet is that it’s a bit of all of it. So seeing that is probably why you feel so bad, then let’s just grab onto to it being temporary. Unfortunately you didn’t have much of a choice but to take those meds. So it isn’t your fault but unfortunately you’re the one suffering the consequences. In this recovery, sometimes people have these situations. If you read other’s experiences you’ll find that it’s so common to feel like being back in acute when in a setback. As a matter of fact, JBen knows exactly what I’m saying. The good news is that with a bit of time, you’ll be back to feeling healed again. Hopefully no more urinary issues. In the meantime, you know that we’re here for you. All of us want to see you get better. We all want to see each of us healed! We all will be writing our success stories soon enough! I feel this year will be much healing for this group.

The red feet with white bumps is weird! It may be a delayed reaction for all those medications. It might be that you’re sensitivity is on the uptick. There’s plenty of people here that one day they handle things they’ve always been able to then the next week they can’t. Perhaps this is what’s happening. In this recovery all kinds of weirdness is fair game. Perhaps it won’t be something ongoing. Short lived then gone!  :thumbsup:

Sending you bunches of love ❤️

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