Not going to make it

Feeling the same we’ll probably get told off as not meant to mention the S word. Was sort functioning  up to 5 weeks ago, suddenly changed now anxiety and paranoia constant, bedridden lot  time. 4 years this way too long, do sleep but does nothing to ease it.

Are you OK X-ray, worried about you. Just message me that you are doing OK.

I'm concerned too, I hope you're OK and we'll hear from you soon XRay, keeping you in thoughts and prayers.

I'm also pretty concerned, it's not like him to be offline for this long. I've spoke to him privately and he's shared some pretty personal things with me, so his absence has me worried.

Sent him couple PM , no response. Just hoping it’s because he’s doing well. That’s only trouble when everyone is anonymous not much you can do. Hopefully he will read it and get in contact. I know he reinstated. Mine is still bit hit & miss very windows & waves after 4 weeks.

X-ray,

 

Hope your ok and enjoying the holidays.  Will be praying for your well being.  I think your buds on here need to know if your ok.  Blackwater

Xray,

What happened? Did you forget about us?

Please give us a quick update on how your doing.

We miss you and hope your doing well

Jacky

Also worried. Please post soon.

How are you doing X ray please let us know. Sadly reinstating zopiclone didn’t work. Very sick spend most days in bed now, not eating much. After nearly 4 years given up on recovery.  Really hope you are doing better please let us all know.

Hey everyone,

Thanks for the concerned messages. I am still alive. I had to go into the hospital for a bit because I was having some bad thoughts. I am still not doing well. I still pray for all of you and for me.

Xray, I’m so happy to hear from you buddy.

 

I’m relieved that your ok😘

Relieved to see you back bro, I check this thread every day hoping you've been on and saying a prayer for you every night. I think none of us are doing well, just keep holding on by your fingertips, things have to get better for us one day.

Awesome to hear ur back xray....shoot me a message if u need someone to talk with

So glad to see you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

How is your sleeping?

I know you suffered from insomnia.

 

Is it any better?

We are here for you ;_;

How is your sleeping?

I know you suffered from insomnia.

 

Is it any better?

 

Sleep is still hit and miss. I can’t sleep without some sort of Med. Right now I take 150mg of Seroquel to get 4 or 5 hours a night. My brain feels like it is buzzing and my whole body feels like it is buzzing as well. My guts are not working properly either. It seems like everything is moving very slowly through the instestines. I thought I would be further along than this by now. Not counting the reinstatement attempt I am over 12 months off. The good news is that the reinstatement didn’t seem to set me back at all. I am right were I was before I tried the reinstatement. I am very afraid that these symptoms will be permanent. It’s hard to believe that 12 months later I still cannot sleep at all. This is absolutely ridiculous.  I hate the fact that I have to take a pill just to get some sleep. But I already tried to go without taking any kind of sleep aid and ended up in the ER 5 times over a 6 month period from going 4 nights and 5 days without a wink of sleep. I’m just hoping that I turn a corner here real soon. I certainly cannot go years without any kind of improvement. I appreciate all of the well wishes from everybody.

Hope things soon improve. I tried 25mg of seroquel few times but made anxiety lot worse and made feel completely knocked out. Trying to push olanzapine onto me seems have horrendous side effects and not even recommended for anxiety so refused to take it. Diazapam does help she reluctantly gave me months worth tiny dose , going order some on line,but not high enough dose to really help. Not sure how much longer I can go on, 4 years due to a stupid F**king GP ignoring all the rules has ruined my life. I only get about 4 hours sleep anyway it’s crazy thoughts that suddenly started overnight last 4 months can’t cope with. Are you still taking the Ativan, they refuse give stuff that actually helps anxiety here, just push anti psychotics into you that made me feel like a spaced out zombie and anxiety worse. You are on really high dose are you functioning  OK?

 

Pppp

I’m so sorry to hear that Leann. The Seroquel does seem to be helping with sleep and that is my main symptom. I hope the diazepam helps. My reinstatement failed because tolerance set in very quickly and I was increasing my dosage at a rapid rate. I couldn’t keep it up any more so I had to go to rehab facility to get tapered off and made comfortable. The main nurse here is an ex klonopin user so she no knows what I am going thru and has been helping me a lot. I’m afraid to jinx it but I am actually starting to feel better. Keep us informed on how you are doing. I really hope it works for you.

Are you finding it helps the anxiety/thoughts at all or just the sleep. You are on quite a high dose hope you don’t get any side effects from it. I’ve got some 25mg that I’ve taken occasionally, which does seem help with sleep. Still waiting for the zop and diazapam I ordered to arrive so still not sure what right thing is to do. Glad you  are at least getting some relief.

 

It is definitely helping with anxiety, I feel calm most of the day now. The anxiety starts ramping up in the evening though because after being sleepless for so long I get real bad sleep anxiety. I really hope that everything works out for you.

Are you still taking the Ativan as well?

Are you still taking the Ativan as well?

 

Im not taking any benzo's. I now take propranolol for my BP and it also helps with the muscle tremors. I also take seroquel at night to help me sleep. That is my most troubling symptom. It has me sleeping about 6 hours a night broken. But the sleep is not refreshing. I am still tired all day. I have a lot of dreams while I am sleeping but I dont think i am getting much deep sleep. Just light sleep and REM.  How have you been doing these last couple of days?

My wife is going through this as well and she has the same doubts as you. She sometimes tells me she should just go and she often tells me how she does not understand why God hasn’t helped her or answered her prayers.

 

I will tell you what I tell her.

1.  You WILL survive. Millions of people survived this same issue and so can you. Remember you aren’t alone. Your feelings are exactly what many people feel while getting off of this.

2. The future off of this poison will be better than what you are going through now. Think about your kids marriages and how it will feel to be there watching them through this entire life journey. This torture will be a small blip in your overall life horizon…: and I know it does not feel that way.

3. God didn’t cause this suffering. Some scientist in a lab who created this medicine did. God is looking at you and he is supporting you. It may not feel like that but he is. God does not just heal that simply and he is looking after billions of his children on this earth. What you are going through…. This battle of your will against this pill is going to leave you with an amazing testimony and your going to have an opportunity to help people in your community not get on this pill or to ween off of it. Your holy moments are coming.

 

I’m going to pray for you while I’m praying for my wife tonight. Don’t be discouraged. If you don’t already belong to one, please find a good Bible based church and try to join some community groups. They help recharge your spirit. It’s helped my wife a lot to have support from a local church.

 

I’m here for you as are all of these other great members in this community.