Habing anxiety after insomnia

I only slept from 9 to 430am.  I am exhausted and feel panicking.  I was planning to go out if town this morning, but I am too tired and it's 100 where I am going.  I am afraid I will get heat strike.  I took too much melatonin. 15mg.  I can't get a hold of my sister.  She is not answering.  I can't hac k the isolation.  I need a sleepeze.  I need a benzo

I feel so scared that I gad to drink  but it is not stopping the panic.  I think I need to go to the hospital for the panic.  The drink made me feel sick.

I went to aa last night in person.

I need medicine for the panic.  It'll be 6 months benzo free on the 3rd

I had to travel out of town with anxiety.  I made it to my destination and am okay.  The panic will never leave me.  I never had bad panic before I was on benzos.  They wrecked my life.  Now every time I panick I think about going to the hospital.  The stupid crisis kine guy tried to egg me on to call the hospital atc430 in the morning.

Dom, just realize that the panic is not real and is just from the Restoril damage to your CNS.  It will get better.  Maybe you can make friends at AA so you won't be so lonely?  I'm lonely.  I spend every single day by myself.  I didn't speak to one person today and didn't say one word.  Most days I don't speak at all and I go for days not seeing or associating with anyone since I'm housebound now.

So sorry to hear that becksblue, do you have any family or friends that you can call if you can't get out?

Thanks becksblue sorry you are alone too.  My new sponsor took me to an aa meeting on Friday.  I wish the cns damage would heal up.  I slept better last night.  That's how I was at home.  Nobody talked to me for a week and a half except the neighbor for 5 minutes once and the lady from aa.  Started drinking yesterday at 5am when I thought I was panicking  but only two drinks.  I think I was Stressed out about the neighbor dying.  He used to give my mom the paper daily.

Dom, it's not a good idea to drink so early in the morning.  Anyway, I've just resigned myself to a life of isolation.  I can't even go to the grocery store and buy my own food.  I have to have my friend get it for me every Sunday.  I don't have any family nearby except one sister about an hour and I'm estranged from her because of her abuse and I don't associate with her anymore.  I don't want to go anywhere or do anything ever anymore because I feel so sick all the time and have overactive bladder and incontinence problems now too.

Becksblue.

Yeah I don't know how to stop drinking when I have anxiety inn the am.  I used to take benzos all say to stop it and now I have nothing to stop it.  I will pray you get better.

Dom, I'm praying also that you'll get better.  You're early in w/d and you should start feeling better soon.

Thanks Becksblue I appreciate it.

I have insomnia and can't sleep I am so anxious.  I have to go home tomorrow and might not be able to if i am too tired from insomnia.  I am worried about my brother.  He has been chain smoking and is bedridden.