Hi! I’m new and have just entered my twilight zone

I have never been involved in a support group before. But I just spent the last 4 weeks in benzodiazepine withdrawal through my own ignorance. I only realized that the process had so much more involved than I could imagine. I asked my family doctor to help. He moved me from a 2.00 mg Xanax dependence to a .5 mg clonazepam prescription with instructions to half the dose each week after. I immediately met my insanity. I cried. I got angry. I couldn’t think. I blacked out. I overcompensated with taking 3 months supply of zolpidem in 3 weeks. I fell down. I remember very little of a whole weekend. I had no peace. Then I learned about what not to do and found we had done them all. I couldn’t sleep. My skin was electrified all over my body. My anxiety soared. My pain was heightened all over my body. My opiates acted as if they were speed. Now I’m hoping for a better path. I know more after reading the Ashton Manual and other resources than any of my doctors. I can’t talk to them. I don’t know how because they don’t understand. I sound like a psycho. I’m hoping to find and provide insight and understanding and most of all hope.

Hi LadyLiberty!

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I am deeply sorry for what you had to endure. You do not sound like a psycho. You sound like somebody that has been injured by benzo's and in severe withdrawal. We understand, we know what you're going through and we are going to help you through this. You say you know the mistakes that's been made, so I'm not going to rehash them all, unless you want me to, so you understand what is causing all these symptoms? To map a way forward can you tell us, are you currently taking any benzo's and what are your doses? How long have you been on your original dose of 2mg Xanax per day? If you're not taking benzo's any more, when was the last time you took a dose of benzo's?

 

In the meantime I'll give you these links to get you started:

 

Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

 

You'll get through this. It will get better. 

 

Please look around and start posting when you're ready!

I convinced my doctor to put me back on 1.5 mg Xanax per day. I am using .25 mg every 8 hrs trying to get back to some sense of normal. But I die for the last hour or so before my next dose. My doctor wants out of the whole thing. I have an appointment with an addiction doctor but have no idea whether she has a clue about any of this. I feel underdosed for a baseline right now. I’m useless and immobile and confused most of the day. I’m terrified when my prescription runs out next Wednesday (same day as addiction doctor appointment.) I’ve already had a pharmacist refuse to fill one prescription. So my days are filled with withdrawal anxiety and real psychological anxiety brought on by not knowing what or how much if any benzodiazepines I’ll have next Wednesday evening. I may land back in the ER where they’ll give me 2mg versed and send me home to more terror.  I don’t know how to deal with docs and pharmacy. That’s my biggest fear right now. Help?

I just want to double check your dose with you. You are taking 0.25mg every 8hrs which equals 1mg per day? And your doctor gave you a prescription until next Wednesday? Is there any possibility you can take up to 1.5mg per day?

 

I completely understand your fear and terror and it is fully justified. I got cut off by the pain specialist who prescribed to me. Can you get an appointment at any other doctor just to get them to prescribe for you? There's no need to be with an addiction specialist. A lot of them don't understand benzo withdrawal - it's not an addiction, it's physical dependence. And they don't understand the difference. I think the most important thing right now is to try and get an appointment with a doctor as soon as possible so we can get someone who is willing to prescribe to you. What do you think?

 

 

I just want to double check your dose with you. You are taking 0.25mg every 8hrs which equals 1mg per day? And your doctor gave you a prescription until next Wednesday? Is there any possibility you can take up to 1.5mg per day?

 

Shows my serious brain fog. No. I have been on only .5 to 1 mg Xanax per day for many years. So right now .75 per day is my original dose before this started. Came back to that. It still feels underdosed. I’m going back to my original PCP that prescribed Xanax 10+ years ago on Tuesday. I’m hoping to get her to prescribe the 1mg per day so that I can microtaper from there.  Does that sound reasonable?  How do I handle a pharmacist. ER doc explained how I needed to watch my doctor and pharmacy shopping. But…

Okay, good you're back to your original dose of 0.75mg. I do understand you feel underdosed and it makes a lot of sense. You have essentially been cold turkeyed off a quite high dose when you were switched directly to Clonazepam and then rapidly tapered off. You are still in the midst of that and it will take time for you body to recover.

 

If you can get back to your original prescription and just continue with that, we can help you. So your plan to see your original PCP sounds good. If you have one doctor that will now consistently prescribe for you I don't think there will be any issues. We can help you taper. Everything I know and learned about benzo withdrawal I learned from here. I didn't use a doctor's or pharmacist help. Before I came here I was bedridden and very sick because of my reductions and not knowing what benzo's were. Since then I followed the advice from people here and I am almost finished tapering, but most of all, I have been functional and not in severe pain.

I am hoping all works out next week. I’ll be reading and learning and I pray that things work out so I can learn and be rid of this nightmare. Then hopefully be able to help others here. Thanks!!!

Just one more question. You mentioned a previous pharmacist refusing to fill your prescription. Was a benzo script and did he say why?

Yes. It was during the switch to Clonazepam. When we realized how dramatically I reacted to the lower dose and the instructions to halve the dose each week he instructed that I stop tapering and take the full .5 mg. He then wrote an additional prescription to keep me on the .5 mg dose. The pharmacist insisted that I was abusing the drug at that point and would not fill the next clonazepam prescription. That’s when I ended up in the ER. I have a pretty clean record of no abuse of my scripts. It didn’t matter. She had the power and wanted to use it.

This might help:

 

https://www.benzoinfo.com/doctors/

 

And this:

 

https://www.benzoinfo.com/tapering-help/

 

How are you doing now? How did any appointments go?