This Warrior Has Won

Hello My Dear Buddies,

 

I guess it's about time I add my name to the Success Story Roster!

 

Today marks 2 years 9 months since my last dose of klonopin.  I am 1000x times better than when I started!

 

As is everyone's, my story is unique. It's scary; but remember, I'm 1000% better!

 

In a nutshell... My 6 week taper was rough as was the following month, but I thought it wasn't nearly as bad as I had read and felt pretty cocky that everything was cool from then on out. Then at month 2 I had what can only be described as a stroke/seizure-like episode that landed me in the ER.  It got a little worse after that up to maybe 8 symptoms, but then at month 3 I got slammed with 24 simultaneously, like a freight train; while I was driving.  I spent the next 3 months in absolute living hell; writhing agony, actually.  I had many days that I called "shotgun days" - it I'd had a shotgun, I would have used it.  Things started lightening up by months 6-7, and as I slowly w/d from ambien at that point, my symptoms started to diminish. 

 

It wasn't until a year out that I felt really good, relatively speaking. I was operating at about 75% normal. Then I had knee surgery and was on oxy for a month and then a sliver of ambien to try to shake the insomnia that resulted from the oxy w/d.  The combination caused a dozen symptoms to come back. It was another 6 months before I started feeling better again.

 

I have had only 5 or so windows of 100% "normalcy" in all this time, however, excluding  the screaming tinnitus I've had since Feb 24, 2009.  I have mild physical symptoms recur when I'm stressed.My cognitive abilites are severely damaged and at this point I'm afraid they always will be.  I'm more scarred emotionally than anything else, though; I will have PTSD about this forever (as I'm sure everyone here will)! 

 

Still, I live my life. I'm a temp, and just finished a 3-month long FT gig, which ended quite successfully. I'm traveling the world despite my anxiety. I can drink the occasional glass of wine without paying for it. My marriage survived (which was shaky for a long time).

 

For all who are reading this, know this: It does get better!  My advice: Hold on tight and ride it out. Accommodate your limitations, accept where you are right now and do what you can, when you can. Arm yourself with as much information as you can, try any advice offered on this site (within reason) and do not doubt for a second that you're not strong enough to walk through this fire.

 

Peace to all. Courage to all. And most of all, much love to you, my fellow warriors. We are an incredible bunch of people who will not let benzos keep us down!

 

ginger

Congrats!!!

 

You are out and travelling the world, looks like you are doing pretty good to me. 

It is a bad experience, but you made it, you're healed.

 

CONGRATS! and good luck!

Thank you sooo much for coming back and posting your story, ginger.    You know how important it is when you are miserable to be able to read that someone felt as bad as you did for as long as you did and still healed.  Have a wonderful rest of your life! 

Congratulations !    I know you have come a long way in this journey, but yet you have survived !  What a wonderful testimony you have given to all of us.  I believe the PTSD will eventually go for you too. 

Best wishes to you !            Ginia

Congratulations Ginger !!

 

What an amazing journey you've had. The amount of strength it must have taken to fight through all of the symptoms and setbacks is unbelievable. Glad to hear that you're back enjoying life and can't wait to be where you are. Take care

 

Jeff M.

Hey Ginger,

 

What an inspiring post! Some of us oldtimers have been around so long, we forget that we too will graduate out of this site at some point! So this is your moment, and I bow in front of your amazing courage and perseverance. My warmest wishes for a great life.

 

Congratulations 

 

Kev

Congratulations Ginger!

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us and for inspiring us to keep fighting the fight. I wish you well as you get on with living the rest of your life.

 

Leslie 

Everyone,

 

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad my story is encouraging.  This certainly hasn't been easy and just like you I didn't think I'd survive.. But I did - and you will too.

 

Beeper, I've never left! I'm just not around as much or venture as far as I once did. I have a blog on buddie space now. 

 

Much love to all -

 

ginger

 

Thank You Ginger,

 

That was a great post!  I look forward to hearing more about how your life unfolds and all that you will enjoy!

 

I have been wanting to tell you again thank you recently for mentioning meditation to me in my blog months ago.  It has been the biggest single daily help to me as I go forward in this taper.  I have thanked you a hundred times at least in my heart!  I don't venture too far from my blog these days as things are getting a bit more difficult and I am taking time to address them as they come.  So, this was a great chance to say, "Thanks, my Good Friend!".

 

You Rock, Warrior!  Keep us posted!

 

Love You,

 

Lily

Wow. I love the way you frame your story. Congratulations!

Congrads Ginger , I cried reading this , I am ecstatic ......., so happy ..... :yippee: :yippee: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Love Laura

xoxoxo

God Bless

Hi Ginger,

 

Well it's about time my dear, and I'm so glad to hear it.  You've always been a success though, since you've been living your life to the fullest the entire time you've been going through this.  You're a warrior Ginger and I'm proud to know you.

 

Pam

ginger1222, the warrior!

 

Congratulations! I'm so happy to read your Success Story!  You bring hope to all of us here at BB. Thanks for giving us encouragement to be "strong to walk through this fire" ~ and what a fire it is!  Best wishes for even further healing, pleace, and joy in your life.

 

Sophia

Hiya G.

Your middle name could be "perseverance".  You've weathered a very difficult taper and challenging benzo journey these last few years.  I've enjoyed our discussions on the "post benzo freedom" thread in withdrawal support.  You've helped encourage so many others who posted on forum at various stages of recovery.  One thing that I've learned is that there is no unified definition of recovery.  It is very individual and is relative to so many variables we have discussed.  You've been able to work various jobs through this, travel and live your life, despite a few tough lingering issues. Who doesn't have issues, right?   Congrats and ongoing healing to you.

 

 

Vertigo

yram, Sophia,

Thanks to you for taking the time to read my story. I'm glad it brings hope and encouragement to you! Please keep me posted and look for me in buddie space if you want to touch base. I don't know if PMs are working again, or not, but if so, you can contact me there as well.

 

Dear Lily,

Knowing I've helped someone means everything to me. My mother always said to not only learn from your mistakes but share what you've learned (good and bad) with others. I'm glad my suggestion helped!  I'm sorry you're hitting more bumps, but you know that your attitude and acceptance is taking you far. 

 

John, bud,

As always good to hear from you and know you. We're in this together!

 

Pam...

What can I say to you that hasn't already been said? Without you...

 

 

 

g

Ginger!!! I've been waiting for this.

 

Although, we haven't talked much, I read many of your posts and always was inspired how you pushed your way through the tough times.

 

You're a benzo warrior with steel armor.

 

Congratulations

Thanks for the wonderful success story!

 

http://i1132.photobucket.com/albums/m575/maxmoo/Funny%20Pics/Greeting%20Cards/Happy%20Birthday%20and%20Good%20Job/bravo-bunny-1.jpg

Ginger!!! I've been waiting for this.

 

Although, we haven't talked much, I read many of your posts and always was inspired how you pushed your way through the tough times.

 

You're a benzo warrior with steel armor.

 

Congratulations

 

thanks byby...

Thanks for the wonderful success story!

 

http://i1132.photobucket.com/albums/m575/maxmoo/Funny%20Pics/Greeting%20Cards/Happy%20Birthday%20and%20Good%20Job/bravo-bunny-1.jpg

 

 

 

ah, Missy, you always deliver!!  I'm going to be giggling at the thought of this one all day!

Ginger thanks for the success story it means alot to so many here me included. I have a feeling you will heal more then you think just keep the great attitude.

 

Hugs

Kristin

thank you Kristin!

congrats on 2 years 9 months that's really great. 

Congrats Ginger!!! I am so very happy for you.    You are truly an inspiration!!!!

thank you Kristin!

 

Good luck ginger to you all the best i am so happy for you

luv

mishi

Thanks for posting your story Ginger. 

 

Congrats,  continued health and healing to you.  Katie xo