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Serax taper to begin via Ativan crossover


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I haven't posted in a while - just found out my mom has lung cancer, so I was out of town.  I also held on to my last dose a little longer. 

 

Side effects have been present... I have had the creepy crawlies, and felt like I was going to jump out of my skin and fly across the room a couple of times.  I've had lots of stabbing pains - in the legs, but not limited to there - ribs, arms, you name it.  And some dizziness and migraine headaches, which I've posted about elsewhere.  It's still better than the panic and dread, the impaired memory, and general inability to get along in the world that I was feeling before.  I always always feeling angry before.  Many people say their feelings are blunted by these drugs; I was just a bundle of anger and fear all the time. I'm better already and I thank God for this every day that I get closer to the end.  I remain determined.  Can't wait to see my MD on Friday and tell her this plan is working!!!

 

Taking it all one day at a time...

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I'm so sorry about your, Mom.  :(  I sure hope it was caught at a treatable stage.

 

I have read a number of posts from people who had the anger/rage thing going on, but, yeah, I think blunted emotions is a bit more common.  But bottom line is you are feeling better and your plan is working.  :yippee: 

 

One day - and sometimes one hour - at a time is the way to go IMO.  :thumbsup:

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Beeper - one thing is troubling me... I was on Serax, and switched to Ativan.  Serax has less anxiolytic properties than Ativan...i.e.: Ativan is better for anxiety.  Do you think that this new lack of anxiety, anger and fear I am feeling is because of this switch?  Maybe the Ativan is doing it's "thing", for the short term?

 

Thanks for asking about my mom.  Not sure about the treatability yet...will know more this week.

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I guess it's possible but you are on an awfully low dose.  You will soon be off all together, though, so try not to worry about the emotions thing.  One way or another they will right themselves.  ;D
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I haven't posted in a while - just found out my mom has lung cancer, so I was out of town.   

 

 

Sorry to hear about your mom, that's tough to deal with when not in wd.  I hope you get good news from the dr. next week.  :smitten:

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Thanks Beeper, and TropicalSoul.  I debated whether to reduce again, after hearing my mom's news, but somehow got the confidence to go ahead and make the cut again.  It will be a stressful next few months, to be sure.  I also lost my brother 3 years ago to the same thing.  But this withdrawal is something I just need to do.  The support from everyone and reading the success stories are keeping me going.  Thanks!!!!  :thumbsup:
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It s very exciting.  Today was a rough day, though.  I barely slept last night and have been foggy-brained and dizzy today.  :tickedoff:  The first week has typically been difficult after each cut, so I'm just riding this through.  It is what it is, and tomorrow is a new day.  Keeping my eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel.
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Hi.  Still feeling crappy on this final dose.  I feel like I have a hangover.  Been overly hot and weak.  Praying for my body to adjust. Anyone have any ideas on what I can eat/viamins/herbals, etc to help with this?
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I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad.  :(  I don't know of anything you can take.  Can you rest?  I use a cold pack for the hot/sweats and sometimes a cold washcloth.  I think you just have to get by as best you can but maybe someone will be by later with some other ideas.  It will end; I know you know it will but still it's good to remind yourself of that when things are so rough.  Hang on.  :thumbsup:
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Thanks, Beeper.  I took your advice on Sunday and rested a good part of the day.  I'm feeling better as the week goes by.  Just tired from very light sleep, and waking up every night for a couple of hours.  This will get better.  I'm still planning to take my last dose tomorrow night, and that is very exciting!  I can't wait to be off this drug!!!  Hopefully my next post will be on the Celebration board! 
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That is great news, Rose. What a great way to start the weekend, heh? I'll be looking for your post and celebrating with you.  :yippee:
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Wow, you did it!  :yippee:

 

I hope you are proud of yourself.  I went back and read your previous posts and you showed tremendous courage throughout the whole process.  I will be pointing new people to your thread for inspiration.

 

I don't have to wish you a great weekend; I know that's just what you will have.  ;D

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Congratulations Beachrose!!  You hung in there and you did it!! BENZO FREE!!! :yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

Best of Luck to you and wishing you the best!

 

mal

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:'(  Last night and today were awful.  It was my first night benzo free and it didn't go well.  At 2am I woke up in with a massive panic attack.  My body felt like it was on an overdose of adrenylin, my heart was racing,  and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin and up to the moon. I didn't sleep.  This lasted all day today.  I was an absolute wreck.  So, tonight I took a 1/8 tab (.125 mg) (my last dose amount before I jumped off).  I am feeling better, my symptoms are lessend... but very disappointed in myself.  I don't know if I was just scared to death, being "on my own" without the drug for the first time...or if it was withdrawal stuff.  I'll have to delete my posting in Celebrations - I really thought I was ready.  How am I going to be brave enough to go it alone again?  Please, any words of wisdom here would be so appreciated.  Feeling pretty down tonight...
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Aw, Rosie, I know you are disappointed but this is only a bump in the road.  :therethere:

 

Keep taking the dose you reinstated at for a week or two and then maybe you will want to try titration.  Because you are on such a low dose, it won't take that long but it will mean that only minute amounts of benzo are removed every day or two. 

 

I'm afraid a lot of people report having those adrenaline surges which often lead to a panic attack.  I never had them but they sound very frightening.  It's possible you will never have another one but I think it's best to prepare for what you will do to ride it out if it happens again.  Having a plan puts you back in control.  How does that sound to you?

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Thank you so much Beeper. You have been so wonderful to me through this - I can't thank you enough.  Thanks for being here tonight, as always.  

 

I was so embarrased to write it, but I needed to get honest about it, firstly.  But I also really needed to read your words - this is just a bump. It helps keep it in perspective, although that is hard to do tonight.  This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

 

I am thinking the same, that I will stay on this dose for a week or two and maybe try titration then.

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Hi beachrose,

I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Don't be to hard on yourself, you will get through this. It's certainly not a race, maybe you just needed a little more time. I wish you all the luck you need. :thumbsup: Kel

 

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Hi there beachrose,

Don't worry, you will get there.  :thumbsup:  .125mg is still the equivalent of 1.25mg Valium for tapering purposes, so its not really a small dose to just jump off like that.  I know that many have, but I think it's important to take it easy when you get down that far.

I think beepers advice to stay there for a week or two and then go slowly with titration is very sound.  Doing it that way could end up being really smooth for you.  :thumbsup:

 

Vicky  :)

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Hey Beachrose, As they all have said "don't feel bad and don't be so hard on yourself."  You will be off of this soon and you just needed to slow it down a bit.  You are still on the right track and you will be free of this soon.  This is the hardest thing I have done too.  Being honest with yourself is great!  You know where you are at and you will get there but by no means should you feel bad about this.  We all wish you well and am so glad you are feeling better.  Take it one day or even moment at a time and you will get there.  Be Strong!

 

mal

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Thanks, Everybody, for all the great replies and support.  (I've been away, I travel a good bit for my job,  so I just got back and am getting to read all these).  I may try another jump off in a week or so - when the time feels right.  If that doesn't succeed, then I'll move on with titration.  Just knowing, as I do now, that what I had was an adrenaline surge and is a side effect of withdrawal (not sure why I didn't think of this at the time - that's why I need you all!) actually helps me to feel better and not feel so crazy.

 

It's nice to be back online with my benzo buddies!  :smitten:

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We're glad you're back. too. :smitten:

 

I sure don't envy you traveling so much.  Do you have to fly a lot?  I haven't flow since before 9/11 but I hear plenty of stories of how air travel has changed to being something you have to endure.

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I do have to fly a good bit.  I don't mind it, though.  It was scary at first, right after 9/11 to get on a plane, especially cause I fly in/out of the airports in DC and Baltimore.  I've never been one who gets upset at all the security stuff they do - it makes me feel more safe.  It's great to be home, to be sure!  ;)

 

 

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