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Coping during withdrawal - valuable tools


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1. If you ever find yourself in a deep depression and are contemplating self-harm, or are struggling with self-harm thoughts, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek professional help.   There is absolutely no shame in asking for help.  And know that despite our best intentions, our immense love and care for you, NONE of us – no buddies, no spouse, no friend, no confidant – is a professional.  And you need a professional’s assistance and guidance when you are considering drastic action.  DO NOT rely just on buddies, or a spouse, or a friend.  Call a professional counselor / therapist / physician if you have one, or call your local crisis line – the numbers are available on-line or in the front of your yellow pages.  Call 911.  But reach out – you have so many good days, months, years, experiences ahead of you.

 

2. Think of withdrawal and recovery from benzos as a war, and prepare accordingly.   You need a plan of attack for dealing with withdrawal and recovery, and it is never too late to formulate one.  Does the military go into the battle thinking….”hmm, I’ll just see what happens and then deal with it then.”  NO!!  Sit down and think about how you are going to handle finances, who is going to be your caregiver in times of need, who you can call on to take your kids to school if you can’t get out of bed, who can bring you meals or order you a pizza if you are too exhausted to stand.    Case in point:  my husband recently started travelling for work, and I am not yet at the point where I can care for my kids on my own, so we planned accordingly – I have caregiver help in the morning and evening when they are home, a cleaning lady to keep up with the house, and our church is graciously bringing us dinners so it is one meal I don’t have to worry about preparing or dishes to do.  By planning for your care and recovery, you take A LOT of the anxiety out of withdrawal; and the less stress and anxiety we can have, the better.  It helps so much to be able to say, “well if the worst happens, situation ____, I have a plan in place to take care of it, and it is ____.”

 

3. Practice makes “perfect” – develop coping skills and practice, practice, practice them.   Parker said it great once, “this is personal brain injury rehab.”  What would you do if any other body part was injured?  You would care for it, and rehab it through physical therapy, exercise, rest, nutrition, etc.  SO DO THE SAME FOR YOUR BRAIN BY DEVELOPING COPING SKILLS.  You know yourself best, so find a set of skills that speak to you and your heart.  Practice them everyday.  There are as many coping skills as there are stars in the sky, so try a bunch and then pick a few that really help, and PRACTICE them….a lot.  Everyday I spend an hour sitting in front of my lightbox doing some meditation, journaling in a gratitude journal, working in a self-help workbook, and blogging here on BB.  Other folks exercise, do deep breathing, listen to soothing music, EFT, doing yoga, reciting mantras.  Whatever works for you, do it.  I don’t care how goofy, new agey, or off the wall it seems, if it gets you through and helps your soul, DO IT.  I sleep with a stuffed animal.  Yes, I am 36 and sleep with a stuffed animal.  But it helps me sleep, so I DO IT.  I also carry around Silly Putty for when I am anxious.  I have one in my purse, one in my car, one on my bedside table.  There is no shame in my game when it comes to how I cope. 

 

4. Cast a wide net when it comes to your support network.   It took me many many months to realize this, but there were some types of support my husband just could not give me.  He just wasn’t wired for it.  So instead of fighting it, I started to lean on others who WERE wired to give me that kind of support.  And my relationship with my husband got a lot better.  You need to do the same.  Know your friends, your buddies, your spiritual advisors, the professionals in your life, your family and cast a wide net of support.  That way the safety net that is below you is super strong….because it is made up of all different strengths and types of rope.  It’s kind of like the first rule of financial planning – DIVERSIFY, DIVERSIFY, DIVERSIFY.  Treat withdrawal and recovery the same way.

 

5. Do not be afraid of physicians or other medical professionals.   We all have a little PTSD when it comes to health care providers because of what these crazy meds have done to us, but you CANNOT not see doctors and ignore health issues that arise in withdrawal because of this experience.  You are not going to be forcibly medicated; at the end of the day it is your body and you choose what to do with it and what to put in it.  So do not NOT go see a physician because you are fearful of what they may say or prescribe or suggest.  Many buddies have gotten through withdrawal successfully BECAUSE they took something like a beta blocker or remeron to help them through withdrawal.  Many others have had those nasty health fears that arise in withdrawal calmed because they went to the doctor and tests came back normal.  And know that whatever your experience with the medical establishment, there are alternatives out there.  The field of alternative / holistic / integrative medicine which tries to improve overall body health WITHOUT pills is greatly expanding, and there are practitioners everywhere.

 

6. Read and research benzo withdrawal until your heart is content, and then DROP IT.    Read, read, read as much as you can on benzo withdrawal – whether on BB, Bliss Johns’ book, or any other of the myriad of resources that there are out there.  But try (easier said than done) to not obsess.  My therapist has always taught me, “what you focus on expands.”  So guess what, if you don’t do anything but read and research about benzo withdrawal, that will become your world.  And that is not healthy.  For me personally, I give myself that hour I spoke of earlier to do my “personal benzo rehab” early in my day (9 to 10 am) and then I try to do other things – even if it is just chilling on the couch watching movies for the day.  Some days I am better at it than others – some days I am still on BB all day.  But I can tell you that the days I can compartmentalize it, the better I do and the FASTER TIME GOES. 

 

7. Practice acceptance.   Any buddy who has gone through this will tell you that one of the keys to recovery is to practice acceptance.  Like anything, we have days where we are good at it, and we have days where we yell, scream, cry, hit something.  The more moments, hours, days we can live in acceptance, the easier this journey becomes.  I tell myself everyday, “Accept today, but expect recovery.”  This helps me believe that today is just today, and that I can handle it.  At the same time, it also keeps me looking forward to recovery but not NOT living until recovery happens.

 

8. Know that you are worth this fight.  I don’t care how non-functional you are right now.  I don’t care if you have lost your job, are not the spouse / parent / friend you want to be, have lost your home, have run through your savings – YOU ARE STILL YOU, AND YOU ARE WORTH THIS FIGHT. You are worth it for all you are now, deep down at your core.  You are worth it for all you WILL BE when you recover.  You bring a unique set of gifts and talents to this world.  No one can take your place.  So you are worth this investment of time.  Who cares what everyone else in the world is doing, earning, experiencing?!  You will do these things again one day….and guess what….the only way you are going to do those things again is to recover…and the only way to recover is invest the time necessary.  I used to feel so inferior and awful when I tried to go to my son’s events at school, and see all the “perfect feeling” moms baking treats, participating in class parties, attending sporting events.  I was so dizzy I couldn’t see straight and would think “I wish I was them.”  Now I tell myself, “I WILL be them.  Just not yet.  But I will be them soon.”  And that change in thought process has made all the difference.

 

Please take these things to heart.  I tried and tried to get WFR to think along these lines, and she just could not get there.  It breaks my heart that I could not get her to BELIEVE these things, develop these skills, practice acceptance.  If I can get even ONE person’s journey to be easier through these suggestions, it will be an honor to her memory and her death will not be in vain.

 

 

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Distract Yourself

 

The one thing that got me through the misery of early withdrawal was learning how to distract myself from obsessing about my symptoms.  This may sound trivial, but believe me, it's not.  When I started having obsessive and intrusive thoughts, I desperately looked for something to regain "control."  This is what worked for me:

 

I distracted myself - using anything that stopped the train of thought for even a few moments.

I did this again, and again - using my very obsessiveness as a tool.

Over time, this stopped the train of intrusive thoughts.

I became an "expert" at self-distraction, and began to actually look forward to my favorite distractions.

 

So, don't take distraction lightly.  It can really help when nothing else seems to.

 

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

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Distract Yourself

 

The one thing that got me through the misery of early withdrawal was learning how to distract myself from obsessing about my symptoms.  This may sound trivial, but believe me, it's not.  When I started having obsessive and intrusive thoughts, I desperately looked for something to regain "control."  This is what worked for me:

 

I distracted myself - using anything that stopped the train of thought for even a few moments.

I did this again, and again - using my very obsessiveness as a tool.

Over time, this stopped the train of intrusive thoughts.

I became an "expert" at self-distraction, and began to actually look forward to my favorite distractions.

 

So, don't take distraction lightly.  It can really help when nothing else seems to.

 

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Absolutely!  :smitten:

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Thank you for the post. It's full of wisdom learned the hard way, so very valuable. I like the "Battle" metaphor; it's so true.

 

It has helped me a lot to maintain a good support network.

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Distract Yourself

 

The one thing that got me through the misery of early withdrawal was learning how to distract myself from obsessing about my symptoms.  This may sound trivial, but believe me, it's not.  When I started having obsessive and intrusive thoughts, I desperately looked for something to regain "control."  This is what worked for me:

 

I distracted myself - using anything that stopped the train of thought for even a few moments.

I did this again, and again - using my very obsessiveness as a tool.

Over time, this stopped the train of intrusive thoughts.

I became an "expert" at self-distraction, and began to actually look forward to my favorite distractions.

 

So, don't take distraction lightly.  It can really help when nothing else seems to.

 

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Megan, this is exactly what I do, I would go crazy otherwise.  It helps...I'm learning new coping skills this way also!

 

Pianogirl, great post, glad this is now a sticky thread  :)

 

love gts

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[8d...]

Distract Yourself

 

The one thing that got me through the misery of early withdrawal was learning how to distract myself from obsessing about my symptoms.  This may sound trivial, but believe me, it's not.  When I started having obsessive and intrusive thoughts, I desperately looked for something to regain "control."  This is what worked for me:

 

I distracted myself - using anything that stopped the train of thought for even a few moments.

I did this again, and again - using my very obsessiveness as a tool.

Over time, this stopped the train of intrusive thoughts.

I became an "expert" at self-distraction, and began to actually look forward to my favorite distractions.

 

So, don't take distraction lightly.  It can really help when nothing else seems to.

 

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Megan, this is exactly what I do, I would go crazy otherwise.  It helps...I'm learning new coping skills this way also!

 

Pianogirl, great post, glad this is now a sticky thread  :)

 

love gts

 

 

I love this thread  :smitten:

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Thanks, Pianogirl, for a very helpful post! I am definitely in the battle right now! My husband is very supportive, but doesn't really understand how long this may last and I'm really glad to have found this group. I've gotten so much inspiration and encouragement just by reading how others are coping with the recovery process.

 

megan918, I use knitting and reading and my dogs as distractions and it does help an awful lot to have something to do with my hands to keep me from obsessing over symptoms that seem to never abate. I know the day is coming though when I will have a 'window' and I'm watching and waiting for it!! Thank you for your post...makes me think of other ways to distract myself.... ;D

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Great post Pianogirl<3!

 

Distract Yourself

 

The one thing that got me through the misery of early withdrawal was learning how to distract myself from obsessing about my symptoms.  This may sound trivial, but believe me, it's not.  When I started having obsessive and intrusive thoughts, I desperately looked for something to regain "control."  This is what worked for me:

 

I distracted myself - using anything that stopped the train of thought for even a few moments.

I did this again, and again - using my very obsessiveness as a tool.

Over time, this stopped the train of intrusive thoughts.

I became an "expert" at self-distraction, and began to actually look forward to my favorite distractions.

 

So, don't take distraction lightly.  It can really help when nothing else seems to.

 

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

This is really positive, I like it. :]]  Out of curiousity, what are some of the things that you now look forward to doing?

 

I'm still struggling to ENJOY doing the things that I want to distract myself with.  I'm getting there I think... Not able to sit and read or write for very long as of yet, but soon I hope..  Cooking has been my favourite thing to find helps distract me so far, which is a new joy I've found.  Something about the multitasking of physical and mental work, it really works.  Too bad my stomach is so messed up!  But this too shall pass. :]]

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Great post Pianogirl<3!

 

Distract Yourself

 

The one thing that got me through the misery of early withdrawal was learning how to distract myself from obsessing about my symptoms.  This may sound trivial, but believe me, it's not.  When I started having obsessive and intrusive thoughts, I desperately looked for something to regain "control."  This is what worked for me:

 

I distracted myself - using anything that stopped the train of thought for even a few moments.

I did this again, and again - using my very obsessiveness as a tool.

Over time, this stopped the train of intrusive thoughts.

I became an "expert" at self-distraction, and began to actually look forward to my favorite distractions.

 

So, don't take distraction lightly.  It can really help when nothing else seems to.

 

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

This is really positive, I like it. :]]  Out of curiousity, what are some of the things that you now look forward to doing?

 

I'm still struggling to ENJOY doing the things that I want to distract myself with.  I'm getting there I think... Not able to sit and read or write for very long as of yet, but soon I hope..  Cooking has been my favourite thing to find helps distract me so far, which is a new joy I've found.  Something about the multitasking of physical and mental work, it really works.  Too bad my stomach is so messed up!  But this too shall pass. :]]

 

I'm an artist, and though I'm not quite able to paint yet, I've reorganized my studio, planned paintings in my head, gone to art exhibits, etc.  Generally, I watch old movies on tv (3-4 star, really classic ones), sew, garden, read, spend time with my pets, and get out of the house as often as I can.  Anything that will "get me out of myself" for a while.  It's important to use what works for you, no matter how trivial it may seem, as long as it gets your mind off your symptoms for a while.

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Thanks, Pianogirl, for a very helpful post! I am definitely in the battle right now! My husband is very supportive, but doesn't really understand how long this may last and I'm really glad to have found this group. I've gotten so much inspiration and encouragement just by reading how others are coping with the recovery process.

 

megan918, I use knitting and reading and my dogs as distractions and it does help an awful lot to have something to do with my hands to keep me from obsessing over symptoms that seem to never abate. I know the day is coming though when I will have a 'window' and I'm watching and waiting for it!! Thank you for your post...makes me think of other ways to distract myself.... ;D

 

Hi Jokker,

 

I only posted this thread, the person who did such an amazing job writing this very important information was Hoosierfans!

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
This was an invaluable post.....heartfelt thanks from a BB who is early on the journey toward a clear mind.  Had to use Klonopin for the longer acting benzo instead of Valium for the c/o from Ativan, but underway. This is is the first time in over 12 YEARS of no Ativan and no interdose w/d.  Groggy but greatful.  :smitten:
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  • 3 weeks later...
I found that if I start to exercise during a withdrawal that endorphin rush kicks in and takes it away for a few hours. Then it comes back.
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Pianogirl,

 

Once again I want to tell you how much your post has meant to me.

I have read it many times and it has helped me very much.

This one I could relate to the most (when I think about the state of mind I was in just 7 weeks ago) and it relates to many of my personal situations in my past and present life.

 

"8.  Know that you are worth this fight.  I don't care how non-functional you are right now.  I don’t care if you have lost your job, are not the spouse / parent / friend you want to be, have lost your home, have run through your savings – YOU ARE STILL YOU, AND YOU ARE WORTH THIS FIGHT".

 

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Pianogirl,

 

Once again I want to tell you how much your post has meant to me.

I have read it many times and it has helped me very much.

This one I could relate to the most (when I think about the state of mind I was in just 7 weeks ago) and it relates to many of my personal situations in my past and present life.

 

"8.  Know that you are worth this fight.  I don't care how non-functional you are right now.  I don’t care if you have lost your job, are not the spouse / parent / friend you want to be, have lost your home, have run through your savings – YOU ARE STILL YOU, AND YOU ARE WORTH THIS FIGHT".

 

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

cardandchips,

 

Don't thank me,  the only thing I did was make this a "sticky" so that this wonderful post would be readily available to our members.

 

Our wise member Parker wrote it and I know it is very helpful to everyone suffering from withdrawal.

 

pianogirl

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I c/ t from 0.25 mg of Xanax this february 2013 and have horrible symptoms did any one experience cold and hot especially a cold feeling in the chest and shortness of breath, and how did you distract yourselves, any advice thanks
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hii..thnx for ur reply...petril is clonazepam......i hv told u abt my history..jst let me knw tht am i on d ryt track of medication.....i am 36 yrs old..i was taking libotryp which has chlorodiopoxide and amitriptyline..i was taking dis medicine for almost 5 yrs..den in d 5th yr i started having side effects...my doctor advised me that i dont need dis drug and shud cm out of it..den i started d course of tappering d drug..my doctor put me on amitop which contains amitriptyline and petril ..i started havinf petril 0.5 in d morning and den at nyt and amitop 1 tab at nyt..nw slowly slowly its been 5 mnths nw..and my medicine has reduced to 1 petril 0.5 at nyt..bt now after tappering it and til d tym i was on petril 0.5 at nyt and 0.25(half tab)in d morning for 40 daz i was comfortable..nw when i stopped morning dose and jst 1 tab of petril 0.5 at nyt i started feeling uncomfortable..like memory loss,darkness in front of eyes,hands legs sleep,heart palpatation not normal...confusion...plz help and advise dat am i going on d ryt track of tappering and how shud i tapper further and r these common side effects and shud i b strong to face it if i hv to get rid of d medicine....thnxxx and waiting for instant reply
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People!!!

We all lived w/o benzos at some point! But I know I frried up my Central and Peripheral NS by taking prescribed Adderall 90mgs...Now I can't stand it..

When I was in rehab and they tapered me off the Klonopin for the 1st time just fooling myself that I can take it IF(!!) I feel bad helped..But that's for the beginning, after u have to realize that Ur Body's own factory produces enough benzos AND GABA flows freely...

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  • 6 years later...

Great post. Would love to see more distractions/coping tools.

 

All we control is our reaction to our withdraw experience, we have almost no control over how we feel, and it's all over the place.

 

Here are my tools:

1. I see a superb psychologist, He not only supports me through this, but teaches me coping skills. Sometimes I just need to vent. Sometimes I go in and I am in acute withdraw. I use my hour to yoga and calm down. During better sessions, we walk along the river, sometimes we have lunch. The big picture is I have an empathetic professional in my corner. He has us see my pdoc together periodically. If my pdoc were to cut off my meds (not likely,) I know my psychologist would intervene.

 

2. Physical therapy. For the tight chest/air sickness. Or migraines. Or whatever is going on. She does deep tissue on my tight muscles, and we often exercise together, as she teaches me new things to both loosen me up and build strength. Being touched and nurtured  creates oxytocin, and I am never in withdraw during a session, even if I showed up a mess. This applies to any healing practice:acupuncture, chiropractic, anything. Get a professional to work with your body. The power of touch is nurturing, and these folks often can give our bodies some real relief in whatever area it's causing trouble.

 

3. Yoga. Daily. I tailor my practice each day to meet my needs. Sometimes it's a rigorous Vinyasa, other days it's an anxiety reducing Yin practice. There are thousands of free classes on You Tube, and they are good. Many yogi's suffer from anxiety disorder, or other mental conditions. They became masters to cope, and then to share . My husband says I am a yogi master at this point.

 

4. Cardio. Either biking (I was a hard core cyclist before this all began.) In the winter, I do my cardio at the gym. My physical therapist tells me to push it, not to injury, but beyond my comfort level so I am getting stronger with my exercise.

 

-A note on exercise, both yoga, cardio, anything. The endorphins do kick in and help, but as someone else says, they wear off after a while.

 

5. Doing the opposite of what anxiety tells me.(within reason) If I'm frozen and can't move, I get up and do a chore. I find this invaluable, as it reinforces, that, no matter what I am feeling, I run the show, not withdraw.

 

6. distraction, distraction, distraction. I will not sit in my pain and let it make me melt into the ground. I will play computer games, house chores, have my kindle read to me when my eyes and vision are buggy. Anything from knitting to dancing to puzzles.

 

7. quiet observation of nature. This is similar to meditation. I live in the high Rockies of Colorado. I ride my bike down to the major river that runs through my ski town. I will find a place to sit and just observe and appreciate what I see, hear or smell. It is a way of being in the moment. I also build rock cairns. Very engrossing.

 

8. Keeping a daily journal of dosage and how I feel. This helps me monitor how I am doing with both dosage and how I feel.

 

9. affirmations. I have a cuff I wear which says "Keep f..... going." I will write things on my arm with a sharpie, like, "healing" "temporary" "safe" Whatever fits.

 

10. Acceptance. Hard to do when things are intense. I can't change how I feel, but I don't have to resist it either. Sometimes I just have to be in pain. I tell myself it's my body working on something that is whack, and, yes, it hurts. Often, if I can't distract or exercise, I lay down and remove all stimulation and just get through it.

 

11. Ask people to accept me when I am hyper, confused, and can't comprehend words. I tell them to be patient, let me try to remember things on my own without supplying the word I am looking for. I also tell my fam and friends I have bad days when it's just not happening, and I have to retreat. I have to do self care, no one is going to do it for me. And, my people respect this.

 

12. I listen to a lot of music, TedTalks, interesting pod casts. Things that are interesting. Keep growing my understanding of the world and people while I go through this. Nothing that triggers, but good stories that make me think (thinking about new things knocks thinking about my symptoms out the window.)

 

and finally:

 

13. Being a lover of others. Reach out, everyone is hurting in some way, that's just life. I get some of that by being a moderater here, but also my 4 grown children turn tome when they are upset or in pain. And I have 6 grandchildren who love to be loved by grandma. 2 of my children have anxiety disorder, and 1 grandchild does as well (so far.) Sometimes grandma singing to them on the phone, or reading a story, or having them close their eyes as we make up an adventure in our imaginations is wonderful not only for me, but the children, and my kids know grandma is always there when the little ones need more than they can provide. Stay connected to people. Yes, we can limit socializing, but keep in touch, let them know they are loved and we care. I look homeless people in the eye and smile. Most homeless are vets, and/or suffer from mental illness. They are "invisible." I let them know I see them, they are important, here is $10, can I do anything for you? Spend some time letting them talk, if they can. Most homeless are used to being invisible, or yelled at. They are very paranoid and reticent. Show them you see them, and they are accepted as they are.

 

 

Would love to hear more, the more options and choices we have to get through this, the better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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