This Helped Me Sleep

I’m afraid to die. The more I get zero to two hours of sleep every night, the worse my fear gets. Will today be the day? Will my heart finally stop? Will I finally go crazy? So many people say “sleep deprivation won’t kill you,” but they don’t know anything about me. My brain tells me I’m special. Wait for it. Here it comes. Inspiration. Stop panicking and start documenting. If I get through this, I want to remember how I did it.

*Opens Notes on iPhone*

Begins typing…

“I think this is it. I am going to die. Should I go back on Klonopin? No. You’re done tapering. I would rather die right now than be addicted and have to start over. I am going to die someday, anyway. Let’s go. Facing my worst fear is on the other side of this. Saying I am ok with death — and meaning it — puts me right to sleep. I don’t need my brain to produce GABA right now. I am the GABA.”

😴