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I understand that I look insane right now with all of these posts. I am just completely broken and desperate for support.

 

I have extreme, severe depression. I’m starting to doubt whether or not this is from withdrawal or if it’s just who I am. My brain constantly tries to replay my whole life and pinpoint when exactly I’ve felt depressed, if ever, to see if benzos were the cause or not. All day. I’m not sure if that makes sense. I am so exhausted and hopeless and just need help.

 

I know my depression likely got worse throughout my 10 years on benzos, but is that common? I’ve had this crushing hopelessness since May 2021, which was before I started tapering. I started tapering months later and now I’m off 8 months. The severe depression has not let up since (save for when I took Abilify).

 

Can someone please help me?? Is this benzos or just me?? Did anyone else go through the same thing??

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I cant say for sure in your case but in my case the depression is definitely caused by benzo's. I was not depressed before benzo's and I was only on them for a short time at the end 2021. My severe depression is mostly because of the symptoms and the fear that this will never get better. On days when I have fewer symptoms I have no depression. On days that I have a lot of symptoms my depression is so bad I just want to die.
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yourdepression is a special breed of misery caused by benzo withdrawal. I also tried to pinpoint all details and the time line of how this started. This is a negative loop that propels hopelessness to the lowest levels. It sounds like depression has been a huge part of your life. But you know this is not the “typical” depression.  It lifts a little at night and consists of constant self doubt and life review. This is one of the cruelest symptoms of benzo withdrawal . IT WILL EASE UP AND GO AWAY IN TIME.

Download an app called Insight timer. There are tons of meditations and live talks on Depression.  It helped me immensely.  You will get thru this!!!

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yourdepression is a special breed of misery caused by benzo withdrawal. I also tried to pinpoint all details and the time line of how this started. This is a negative loop that propels hopelessness to the lowest levels. It sounds like depression has been a huge part of your life. But you know this is not the “typical” depression.  It lifts a little at night and consists of constant self doubt and life review. This is one of the cruelest symptoms of benzo withdrawal . IT WILL EASE UP AND GO AWAY IN TIME.

Download an app called Insight timer. There are tons of meditations and live talks on Depression.  It helped me immensely.  You will get thru this!!!

 

Did you have the depression throughout benzo use, during taper AND while off?

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I cant say for sure in your case but in my case the depression is definitely caused by benzo's. I was not depressed before benzo's and I was only on them for a short time at the end 2021. My severe depression is mostly because of the symptoms and the fear that this will never get better. On days when I have fewer symptoms I have no depression. On days that I have a lot of symptoms my depression is so bad I just want to die.

 

 

This. I wish the people in my life got this. Spot on.

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