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3 mos off--words of wisdom re:staying motivated in longer healing process?


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Hi Buddies,

 

I got off 1.5 mg of Ativan a little over 90 days ago. I had a run of over 20 symptoms at first and, like many of you, went through hell. Thankfully, I have improved. However, the nervous system is not settled just yet.

 

Until this point, I have had the following physical symptoms in the third month so far: ear ringing, TMJ pain with headaches, ear-popping sensation when yawning, and strange skin sensation of numbness in different body parts. As a result of the length of this healing process and the trauma, I have had depression and anxiety like I have never had before. This affects my appetite and, therefore, weight. I am still at least 10 pounds underweight from the ordeal. Anxiety sometimes affects my sleep as well. All of this affects healing. It becomes a merry-go-round that one needs to get off of to heal.

 

I keep thinking about the role my mind has played in this healing process and how I can change it to have a better result. Fearing the symptoms and fear of the future/that they won't go away produces stress hormones, tightens muscles, tenses the body, and restricts blood flow/oxygen/etc. to the areas that need it to heal. Therefore prolonging the symptoms and keeping me focused on them.

 

I am not saying that I am at fault; just looking at this from different angles to resolve anything that can clear a path to heal. I do not have other underlying health considerations or a reason for these symptoms medically other than the side effects of the meds. I have checked. I am starting counseling this week with someone who understands benzos and withdrawal to break the cycle. I am sure that will help.

 

The ear ringing has been the most troubling symptom, fueling depression and anxiety like I have never known. It has lightened over time and stayed that way, but it is not gone yet. I am told it could take 3-6 months by my neurologist, who thinks it will go away. This was the symptom I was most afraid of getting, which makes me wonder if it was born out of anxiety. Again, not blaming myself; just acknowledging the power of the mind in this. The last three nights, I could sleep without masking the sound with two fans and white noise, which gave me hope.

 

I keep reminding myself that I do see progress and that total healing is possible, and let me add, it is happening...

 

Today I could use some calming support. It would be great to hear from other members who have healed! Just remind me of what is on the other side of this, please!!

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Thanks so much for such a lovely post. The psychological recovery is just as hard as the physcial. this whole process has really taught me how linked the two are.
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Here’s the problem, you clearly recognize the role our mind plays in this process but I’m not sure how much we can control it. Yes, we can acknowledge this aspect but can we really perform mind over this matter?  I don’t think we can, at least not in the early stages where you are at the moment.

 

We’re batted around like rag dolls, taking hits with our physical symptoms, along with the emotional and mental and it’s nearly impossible to fight on all of these fronts.  I want you to know that you’re doing everything right and time is on your side.  Time is our enemy but also our salvation, so your most important task right now is to keep doing what you’re doing and know that your time is coming and its going to be wonderful.

 

I recently broke my leg and I’m sitting here not able to do what I normally do but I’ll take a busted leg over benzo withdrawal and recovery any day of the week.  This is for most of us the worst experience of our lives and you’re benzo free and 3 months into recovery, time is on your side.

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