Need serious help with Xanax taper

[[Buddie]]

Ok, now im really starting to get discombobulated.  I had a bad panic attack last night when i sat at my desk trying to write down my plan for the way most of you calculate your taper, with a scale.

Its not so much with how much or what speed i do this, now im thinking about how im going to feel or how my body will react to all this once i reach the proverbial end.  What if,  i end up suffering ongoing withdrawal type symptoms or what have you?

I remember Dr Shipko mentioned ' harm reduction ', and isnt that 2 mg of the X he mentioned in his email another route to take, considering my age and the long time I was on them?

I feel like my mind is or brain is starting to back up or go in reverse now. And im getting very worried.  I dont want to take any antidepressants or SSRI's and stuff, ive already been on them in the past and they did not help at all.


Im really starting to feel like I'm being boxed into corner.

Help please.....😥

[[Buddie]]

Ok, now im really starting to get discombobulated.  I had a bad panic attack last night when i sat at my desk trying to write down my plan for the way most of you calculate your taper, with a scale.

Its not so much with how much or what speed i do this, now im thinking about how im going to feel or how my body will react to all this once i reach the proverbial end.  What if,  i end up suffering ongoing withdrawal type symptoms or what have you?

I remember Dr Shipko mentioned ' harm reduction ', and isnt that 2 mg of the X he mentioned in his email another route to take, considering my age and the long time I was on them?

I feel like my mind is or brain is starting to back up or go in reverse now. And im getting very worried.  I dont want to take any antidepressants or SSRI's and stuff, ive already been on them in the past and they did not help at all.


Im really starting to feel like I'm being boxed into corner.

Help please.....😥

If you taper slowly so your brain can adjust to the reducing doses on the way down, your recovery could easily be much less symptomatic than you are worried it could be. This is exactly why we slow taper.

Could you just explain in detail Dr Shipko’s ‘harm reduction…’. What is he referring to in regard to the ‘2mgs’?

[[Buddie]]

Dr Shipko said,  [I think that at your age, rather than trying to go entirely off, harm reduction, by trying to get the dosage down to 2 mg may be more reasonable.  Even this would take a long time.  No set schedule, but I would estimate that would take 1 - 2 years from today.]

And I emailed back asking what he meant,  and he simply replied, [ Harm reduction involves maintaining indefinitely on a lower dose and not trying to get off the drug entirely]. Hes in that flood zone in California,  so i never asked if he was impacted by it.

I suppose im worried about how my CNS  will respond once im completely off the X and if i end up with any long term effects because of the 25 years ive been taking them. I really dont want to spend my retirement years suffering. Not much of a nice way to go out.

Its a thought , and I probably should keep it that way,  for now. 

[[Buddie]]

Dr Shipko said,  [I think that at your age, rather than trying to go entirely off, harm reduction, by trying to get the dosage down to 2 mg may be more reasonable.  Even this would take a long time.  No set schedule, but I would estimate that would take 1 - 2 years from today.]

And I emailed back asking what he meant,  and he simply replied, [ Harm reduction involves maintaining indefinitely on a lower dose and not trying to get off the drug entirely]. Hes in that flood zone in California,  so i never asked if he was impacted by it.

I suppose im worried about how my CNS  will respond once im completely off the X and if i end up with any long term effects because of the 25 years ive been taking them. I really dont want to spend my retirement years suffering. Not much of a nice way to go out.

Its a thought , and I probably should keep it that way,  for now. 

I think it’s probably best to keep all options on the table. You don’t have to decide right now what to do when you reach 2mg. Just one step at a time. If you taper sensibly, you may reach 2mg and feel there’s no reason why you should stop tapering there, or maybe you will take a break there, or even decide to stay on that 2mg. These are things you can think about further down the track, so no need to add them to the list of things you already have on your mind. Just one step at a time… that’s how we eventually all learn to do it. 

[[Buddie]]

Thank you WS.

Its still in the back of my mind, but you could be right, I may end up pushing through my taper, right to the end. Its kind of unsettling thinking about not having the medication there after all these years. Just the idea is kind of scary.

I finally finished writing my plan in PDF format. I included a lot of the information the doctor refused to read when I seen him last Dec and earlier this month. Most on the taper types, Patient led, slower tapers...etc. Only way he is going to ignore this now ,is ignore the Pharmacist that Im giving it to ,but I'm holding onto it for a little longer. Just to be sure I didnt leave anything out.

I get my Gem20 scale this Thursday. From Amazon. Finally caught it on sale. 

[[Buddie]]

Thank you WS.

Its still in the back of my mind, but you could be right, I may end up pushing through my taper, right to the end. Its kind of unsettling thinking about not having the medication there after all these years. Just the idea is kind of scary.

I finally finished writing my plan in PDF format. I included a lot of the information the doctor refused to read when I seen him last Dec and earlier this month. Most on the taper types, Patient led, slower tapers...etc. Only way he is going to ignore this now ,is ignore the Pharmacist that Im giving it to ,but I'm holding onto it for a little longer. Just to be sure I didnt leave anything out.

I get my Gem20 scale this Thursday. From Amazon. Finally caught it on sale. 

That’s great news about the scale!

Many people are apprehensive about experiencing life without the medication, but that a long way off, and you will gain confidence as you lower in dose. If you decide to taper right off, then naturally there may be some anxiety about taking that last dose, but by then you will be able to look back and see how much you’ve overcome on your way there. Until then, it’s just one step at a time, never looking too far ahead.

Very smart of you to hold on to that plan until you can be sure there’s nothing left to add.  .

[[Buddie]]

Ive sent my taper plan/ harm reduction to my pharmacist.  Havent spoken to my doctor since Jan 19.

I did have a long conversation with the RN from the RAAM clinic. She did her assessment of my benzo use and told me i have no addiction or issues that would indicate any misuse of my meds, so she told me she feels i shouldn't have to go through the tapering process as she felt it just wasn't necessary at this time, nor did she feel concerned about it. I told her I was down 1.5 mg from my 25 yr 4.5 mg use on a daily basis. Im presently still stuck at 3 mg daily, along with the nightly O for sleep, and she said nothing in her assessment of either suggests a worrisome problem and that I would be ok maintaining my regimen or therapeutic dose as i am. She said harm reduction is not unusual for people my age, and she felt the tapering process is quite difficult for someone my age.
So she sent an email to the doctor and hasn't heard from him yet. Kind of unsure exactly how hes going to react to this new idea.  I wasn't really looking at that part of this, but wanted to get help with my tapering.  She just said she felt it wasnt needed in my case. Very odd day. This was last week.
So now im kind of ok with it but not ok? Im thinking i may continue to reduce my daily dose at small amounts and hold for a few weeks or longer,  just depends on how I feel and function.

Waiting for the pharmacist to call or email back,  since hes now aware of it. I have support from the counselors at RAAM now, the RN told me to drop by the virtual clinic anytime i needed , and i did do that yesterday.  Had a one hour conversation with Chloe.  It was nice to get alot off my chest. Im not going to worry about the doctors response anymore,  as she said im better off looking for a new gp anyway. Ive emailed a few so far, just waiting here in limbo for now.
Whether i get completely off the X or not  is something I can work on slowly and I told the pharmacist that in the long term, i may never get below 3 or even 2 mg a day of the X, but you never know, right?

I never did get my scale.  Dam thing got lost in transit and still sitting in Montreal Quebec since Jan 31st.  Things happen for a reason. Its definitely weird and been a strange past few weeks here in wonderland.  Time will tell.