4 Months Benzo Free after long taper and I fell off the wagon, but there's hope

Hey all, well I'm sorry to say I was enjoying life 4 months benzo (klonopin) free and 1.5 months SSRI (lexapro) free, when... disaster struck. Long story short I had a completely random, "out of no where" panic and anxiety attack (laced with some depression to boot) and HAD to take klonopin again to calm myself down and get functional (it was bad, but I'm functional again). I'm pretty sure this was all from coming off a high long term dose of Lexapro too fast (20mg, tapered in 3 months, but was on it for 2 years, so I probably should've slowed the heck down). SO... with that said and in the spirit of STAYING POSITIVE about having to go through benzo withdrawal again, a few questions:

1) Has anyone out there gone through this? and were you able to taper any more easily your second time around. I'm finding myself more confident in my ability to do it even already, but I don't want to rock the boat and get ahead of myself.

2) I'm currently at .75mg of Klon (it took me exactly a year to taper down from that dose last time I was on it, but I was on it for a year before that). Since I've only been taking it for 10 days now and am stable again, how fast should I start to taper it? I probably haven't hit full dependence yet, but I'm probably not far off. What are other people's experiences?

My plan was originally to just start a 10% taper again and it would take me a year to get off these suckers again. After that, my thought was to REALLY SLOW WALK COMING OFF THE LEXAPRO this time, (like we're talking a year or two taper to gradually come off it). What do people think?

Looking for some support here, had a rough week last week coming to terms with having to take the "poison" again, it was heart wrenching, but it had to be done... for my kids, for my job, for my marriage... couldn't function. But I've come off of them once, I know, God willing, I can do it again!

I'm sorry you're in this position again agentall but I understand your reasons why. I also think mentally it will be easier to taper because you've done this before.

I think the best is to just start with what you feel comfortable with and then adjust as you go along. You know what your symptoms and triggers are, so you know what to look for. Personally I would not exceed the 10% mark though. With everything you've been through I don't think you want to rush and push this taper.

Keep reaching out, we're there for you.

I already tapered this poison twice. This is actually my third taper so don't feel frustrated or alone. In every case it was a reaction to a supplement or a calming tea. Yes that sensitive we are or at least I am.

I always started at 0.750 mg. and got stabilized in two weeks.

The first time I started to taper after three weeks but I had been off of it for only two months.

This time I had been off of the drug for two years. Yes, it was a big frustration. But like you I had to get functional and take care of my family and job.  I took the drug this time for two 1/2 months. My doctor didn't want me to taper immediately so I didn't have any option. After two months I started to taper and it's been 6 months now.

I started reducing high 8/10% the first two months then taper down slower to 5/7 % every 14 days. I had some holds mainly when changing the doses time during the day like from three to two daily where I'm now.

This is my experience. It may or may not work for everybody. There is a compromise between stay to long taking the drug during a long taper and the time you were actually consumed it therapeutically. Still the best indication is your symptoms. When I feel it is getting hard I just hold it for a week or two then go for a slower reduction.

I take this as part of a process to quit this medication once and for all. Ashton even say that this is like quitting smoking it takes time and sometimes several attempts.

Hope this helps!

Mice

1) Has anyone out there gone through this? and were you able to taper any more easily your second time around. I'm finding myself more confident in my ability to do it even already, but I don't want to rock the boat and get ahead of myself.

Yes. I tried to take shortcuts that ultimately tripled the length of my taper. If I had to do it all over again, I would have skipped the shortcuts and thrown out the calendar (that is, not expect to be finished and healed by a certain date). 

2) I'm currently at .75mg of Klon (it took me exactly a year to taper down from that dose last time I was on it, but I was on it for a year before that). Since I've only been taking it for 10 days now and am stable again, how fast should I start to taper it? I probably haven't hit full dependence yet, but I'm probably not far off. What are other people's experiences?

I don't think it matters how long you have been on it; what matters is how fast you can safely taper. I knew people who were able to cut faster than their first taper, at the same speed, and much slower...

If I were to do my second taper over, I would start by cutting a ridiculously small amount (I made daily cuts, so less than .0010 mg) and slowly work my way up to the largest amount I could cut without causing new symptoms and/or making any existing symptoms worse.

I think the best is to just start with what you feel comfortable with and then adjust as you go along. You know what your symptoms and triggers are, so you know what to look for. Personally I would not exceed the 10% mark though. With everything you've been through I don't think you want to rush and push this taper.

Thanks Jelly, I think you're right, I know I can do 10% and why push it any harder and suffer setbacks. Patience... and persistence.

I already tapered this poison twice. This is actually my third taper so don't feel frustrated or alone. In every case it was a reaction to a supplement or a calming tea. Yes that sensitive we are or at least I am.

I always started at 0.750 mg. and got stabilized in two weeks.

Ashton even say that this is like quitting smoking it takes time and sometimes several attempts.

Micedana, thanks for the support, and I'm finding I'm in the same boat as you are: took two weeks and I'm stable at .75mg. Sounds like that's the magic number. Does Ashton mention the "smoking" metaphor in the Ashton Manual or somewhere else? I'd be interested in checking it out if you can recall where you heard it.

Yes. I tried to take shortcuts that ultimately tripled the length of my taper. If I had to do it all over again, I would have skipped the shortcuts and thrown out the calendar (that is, not expect to be finished and healed by a certain date). 

Intractable, I think you're right on about the "throwing out the calendar" comment. I'm a planner by nature. I make spreadsheets, I map out strategies... but with this stuff, that type of thinking can lead to incredible disappointment when things don't work out the way you expect them too. I'm gonna try and remind myself that this is going to take as long as it needs to... and the heck with any timeline. good advice.

I already tapered this poison twice. This is actually my third taper so don't feel frustrated or alone. In every case it was a reaction to a supplement or a calming tea. Yes that sensitive we are or at least I am.

I always started at 0.750 mg. and got stabilized in two weeks.

Ashton even say that this is like quitting smoking it takes time and sometimes several attempts.

Micedana, thanks for the support, and I'm finding I'm in the same boat as you are: took two weeks and I'm stable at .75mg. Sounds like that's the magic number. Does Ashton mention the "smoking" metaphor in the Ashton Manual or somewhere else? I'd be interested in checking it out if you can recall where you heard it.

This is Ashton quote in Chapter II: How to withdraw from benzodiazepines after long-term use.

"If for any reason you do not (or did not) succeed at your first attempt at benzodiazepine withdrawal, you can always try again. They say that most smokers make 7 or 8 attempts before they finally give up cigarettes. The good news is that most long-term benzodiazepine users are successful after the first attempt. Those who need a second try have usually been withdrawn too quickly the first time. A slow and steady benzodiazepine withdrawal, with you in control, is nearly always successful."

This is Ashton quote in Chapter II: How to withdraw from benzodiazepines after long-term use.

"If for any reason you do not (or did not) succeed at your first attempt at benzodiazepine withdrawal, you can always try again. They say that most smokers make 7 or 8 attempts before they finally give up cigarettes. The good news is that most long-term benzodiazepine users are successful after the first attempt. Those who need a second try have usually been withdrawn too quickly the first time. A slow and steady benzodiazepine withdrawal, with you in control, is nearly always successful."

Thanks! Just re-added The Ashton Manual to my kindle, its been two years since I've read it, and its time to brush up again. Little nuggets like this are things I glossed over last time just trying to get to the "meat and potatoes" of how to do it. I'm going to re-read it with fresh eyes this time. Thanks again for the support.