having severe anxiety 8 months out

I have been having severe anxiety after 8 months off.  I have been alone again and it's too hard. I was so upset today I drank a lot of wine.  I ran out of melatonin for 2 weeks.  I have been off if over the counter sleep aids for months.  My back has been killing me and abdomal pain.  i started a new job, but not sure i will make it.  I need some more wine and ran out.

I wish I had some Ativan to take away the fear.  I think I will have bad anxiety.

 

It sounds like life is happening to you again Dom - new job with fear around that and being alone.  Both are hard.  You probably know this but drinking only gives very temporary relief and then it works against you.  It would be better if you could develop a support system that won't let you down like alcohol and benzos will - a 12 step progam would be a good place to cultivate that.

We are here for you ;_; I used to have terrible back pain when my anxiety was bad and nothing could make it better. Only after I found a way to bring the anxiety down a notch, did my back pain begin to subside. Maybe the new job will help? I found it did for me because I was able to collaborate with others and it made me feel good to accomplish something.

 

You can do this. We know you can.

Thanks all yeah it is probably the stress of the new job and being a lone.  Yeah it is probably the anxiety causing the back pain.  It wasn't that bad when I visited sister and wasn't alone.

I do 1 step groups like aa  thanks

Still having anxiety today, but not as bad.  I took the day off.  I am having insomnia and can't sleep.  Also, I can't eat when I am alone only taking a few bites at a time and drinking coffee all day.  The pills used to calm me down and put me to sleep.  I hate waiting until my body falls asleep when it's ready.  I am used to the pills that would put me to sleep right away.

Sorry, Dom.  I hope you don't have to be alone too much and then will be able to eat and sleep.  You have friends who care about you here. 

Becksblue, thanks, i plan to move close to family as soon as possible so I am not alone.  I just have to wait until I can get a job there.  It is 10pm here and I been trying to sleep for 3 hours.

I haven't talked to anybody since  I left my sister's on Saturday

 

I have been trying to sleep for 5 hours it's almost midnight here.  I have been waking up all night and wake ip with my back in pain in the morning.  I hope my back gets better soon.  I need to get a back operation for the compression fracture.

I only slept 5 hours and I am exhausted.  I am not feeling well.  I am going to get someceine when the liquor attire opens at 930.  I can't do this job.  In order to start the job I have to do 25 online lessons and pass a test of 85 percent.  I can't do it so I am going to quit as they are not paying to do the lessons.  I am afraid I will panic until I can get the wine.  The benzo withdrawal won't go away the anxiety and insomnia.

Sorry Dom that you need to drink wine to calm down and about having to quit your job.  Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks  I haven't quit yet, but probably  will.  I am trying  to complete 19 more lessons and take the test.  I think the job will hurt my back.

 

I'm glad you havent quit yet. You should keep trying and see how it goes. I have been working during my withdrawal and it is tough. I also have major muscle aches and insomnia.