Hi all,
I know I really need to make my own decision in regard to how I move forward with my taper, but it is comforting to know that BenzoBuddies are here to offer compassion and support, compassion and support that seems to be severely lacking elsewhere.
3 nights ago I got a cab to hospital about midnight because I felt I could no longer continue on with my diazepam taper after constantly experiencing a significant increase in symptoms within 1hr post dosing. Within that hour, anxiety would increase, breathing would become fast and erratic, I would become increasingly agitated and aches and pain in my body would increase, along with numerous other symptoms, all culminating in severe insomnia. Gradually, over a period of about 7-9 hours, the symptoms would ease and I would feel settled enough to finally sleep some. But then I was only 3 - 5 hrs from my next dose. I’d always felt horrid on the diazepam.
It was one thing to endure the taper cuts without having ever stabilised from switch directly to 10mg diazepam after 19 day cold turkey from 1mg K, but to also endure this paradoxical reaction after each dose (morning and evening) just became too much for me in addition to taper withdrawals.
As concerned as I was (and still am) about the idea of switching back to clonazepam, having been 11 - 12 or so weeks since my last dose, I just couldn’t see any way around it.
So,
I went to the hospital, and eventually got to see a psychiatric doctor in attempt to switch back to clonazepam. I explained the situation regarding paradoxical effects of the diazepam and she eventually agreed to switch me back to clonazepam to continue the taper. I told her that I wanted to switch to the equivalent dose to the diazepam I had been on (8mg) so as not to extend my taper out any longer. I also convinced her to prescribe liquid clonazepam because here in Australia we only have 0.5mg clonazepam tabs unlike other countries where 0.25 is accessible. However, once she had done the prescription for the liquid, she realised she had made a calculation mistake and it was too difficult for her to figure out taper dosages with the liquid (which I’m sure I could have found guidance for here), so she went back to her office and eventually came back with a script for 200 x 0.5 mg clonazepam tablets. I tried to explain that there was no way I could taper from these tablets as 0.5 mg clonazepam was estimated to be the equivalent of 10mg of diazepam, which is exactly where it really went down hill. She insisted that between 1 - 2mg of clonazepam was the equivalent of 10mg diazepam and that I should start off taking 3/4 of a tablet at night and 3/4 of a tablet of a day and then remove 1/4 of a tablet each week, or two weeks if necessary. I tried to explain that she was essentially upping my dose from the equivalent of 8mg diazepam to about 15mg diazepam (almost double), and that what she was asking me to do was cut the equivalent of 2.5mg diazepam every week or two which would be nightmarish and a potentially dangerous, but she insisted that she had 30yrs experience in her profession and that all my information and equivalency charts were all misinformation.… which is pretty much the same response I have received from other doctors. They simply don’t like being questioned, even though the patient is only being careful, looking out for their own welfare. The more knowledge you seem to display, the more their ego seems to be challenged. So in the end I had to just accept the 0.5mg tablets, knowing full well they were useless for tapering, especially from the equivalent of 8mg diazepam, and leave allowing her to believe she must be right i I must be wrong for the sake of not escalating a potential argument which neither of us wanted to have.
The interesting thing that further backs up my paradoxical effect theory is that although I took my morning dose of diazepam to the hospital with me, I actually didn’t take it because I didn’t know whether I’d be switching benzos that day, and the more time that passed, the better I felt. I got home at about 2pm that day and decided I’d just wait until my night dose, and the more time went by, the better I felt. I could see that everything was clearing. I could still feel how unstable my CNS was, but I hadn’t felt that relaxed and clear in the head for months. Even though the frustration of the hospital visit was there, I felt like I could experience joy and pleasure in simplicity. Then later I had my night time dose of diazepam when I went to bed and I fell asleep immediately having had had no sleep for a couple of days, but I woke up 3 hrs later after the dose feeling absolutely terrible again.
It’s funny how a doctor can make you doubt yourself…. I knew I was right, but just to be absolutely sure about conversions, once I got home, I went to my local chemist store and asked my chemist to do an equivalency search and print out, and sure enough, she came back with a chart and 0.5 mg clonazepam is equal to 10mg diazepam.
So now I’m stuck with a prescription I haven’t bothered filling because they seem to be useless unless I can also find access to the liquid clonazepam to use in conjunction.
All this because she wasn’t sure how to calculate doses of liquid clonazepam
I don’t suppose anyone knows a way of making use of the 0.5mg tabs in my taper?
Otherwise, I’m stuck suffering on the diazepam for who knows how long.
