Symptom mindfulness versus obsession

Hi everyone. I just wanted to put this thought out there in case anyone else can relate!

I’m big on mindfulness - meditation, deep breathing, identifying somatic symptoms. One of my favorite things to do is Pilates or yoga when I really focus on my body’s signals and what it’s pain is trying to tell me. I’m also a child therapist so a lot of my work is trying to get children to understand our personal physical symptoms that our body gives us to cue emotional or mental distress.

While being mindful is an incredibly helpful tool, does anyone find that sometimes it crosses into obsessive territory and hurts the recovery process? Every tiny discomfort or pain my body, I feel  like I pay too much attention to and over analyze. I can’t help but think that some of my symptoms are exacerbated by the attention I’m giving to them.

I know a lot of people on here use a “taper journal” where they document side effects of the withdrawal, but how much attention and notice is too much? Do your symptoms seem worse when hyper focused on? It’s extremely important and beneficial to monitor our bodies, but I feel like it’s turning my symptoms into self full filling prophecies, and that my symptoms would be a lot less if I didn’t give them so much attention.

Basically, what is your experience with balancing a health awareness of symptoms versus become obsessed at every change in mood or physical discomfort? Where is that line of healthy mindfulness and how does crossing that impact your own recovery?

I can see you're very self aware and have access to some great tools but you're right, the hyperawareness this process creates can be destructive and overwhelming so balance is important.  I think you just asking the question means you most likely know what you need to do but doing it can be challenging while going through this.  I like the fact that you mention becoming a self full filling prophecy, I mention this to members all the time when they focus on the negative too much but I don't see this in you, I see someone who understands the importance of looking for the good rather than focusing on the negative.

I guess at this point it would be a good idea to find another tool, one that has you looking more outward, do you have hobbies or other interests you use?

I wonder about this too. I think the way to heal will *eventually* be to sit with the symptoms and feel them. Benzo WD just magnifies it so much it feels inhumane to force myself to sit with the feelings sometimes.

Sometimes I can, other times I want to crawl out of my skin and find myself going numb to cope.

I don’t know where the balance lies. This thought is the crux of my thoughts about recovery right now.

I definitely tend towards obsessing over symptoms, but I took these meds to avoid feeling. I think the way out is through feeling!

But what level is tolerable? Is going numb ok to cope? When do we get to the “sit with the symptoms to heal” part?

Sorry, not an answer to your question. But in the same vein 😊