From Ativan to Valium....Help

I am new to all of this, and quite frankly scared to tears so much of the time... :'( I have looked into a titration scedule a couple of days ago, have all of my equipment, but am now second guessing that decision. I am thinking doing a crossover to valium might be a better answer for me. Maybe not...Perhaps some of the wise on this forum can jump in with advice to help me.

I have been on and off of ativan for about 3 years. Mostly off, taken every so often for sleep (just .25mg or less) once or twice a week at most. Then a year ago with my pdocs urging (it is safe) I began to take .25 every nite at bedtime. Five months ago when I injured my back I upped the dose to .50 mg twice a day to help with the pain and sleep. Then, 2 1/2 months ago, anxiety then got worse and I developed the dizzy walking on a boat, achiness stuff. My body was telling me "enough" But the doc assured me it was not from the meds and upped my dose  (she wanted me on 2mg a day). I fortunately did not listen and stayed at about .75 a day divided into 4 doses.

I started cutting back about 3 weeks ago and am down to .62 mg a day in 4 doses. I do have the interdose w/d. And hate it. Makes dealing with the fear of all of this more difficult. With the relatively low dose I am on would it make sense to c/o? I am seeing my Doc again tomorrow AM and though of presenting him with this...and having some hope...

So if any one could give me some much needed advice ( and a little cyber hug :'() I would be grateful. And how to do it....

I didn't do either the crossover from ativan or titration so am not sure how useful my observations would be but I have read a lot of other people's experiences so here goes:

1.  Many people do well crossing over to valium and then tapering; others find it difficult and end up going back to their previous benzo.  There's no way to know up front which category you will be in.

2.  Most doctors in the US are reluctant to prescribe valium so it isn't always an option.

3.  You have the titration equipment and it would be quite easy for you to start a slow titration and see how it goes.  You really have nothing to lose by trying this method, which virtually everyone praises for the easing of symptoms, and everything to gain.

Is it possible you are just scared of getting started, having some fear of the unknown?  If so, it's perfectly natural to feel like that.  I was apprehensive that way for most of the first month of my taper, half way expecting some awful symptoms to flatten me or something - and I was dry cutting much higher amounts than you would be doing using titration.  Once I got into a routine and learned I could handle whatever came along, I relaxed more about the process and worked on coping techniques that continue to serve me well to this day (like to lower anxiety in stressful situations; those don't end as long as we're alive  )

There is no doubt that fear of the unknown plays a role in the anxiety I am feeling towards this whole mess. I began having w/d symptoms before I even started my taper several weeks ago. I have come down a little bit in the dose and just hate the achiness and anxiety, the unbalanced feeling when I walk. I think I am looking for an easier way to do this....? To feel as though I have a little more control. I find myself clock watching...and feel the unpleasant symptoms creep up....a constant daily reminder of what a mess I am in. Thinking going over to a drug that lasts longer will allow me to gain more ease through the days ahead. I know I have to go through it, but could it not be a little easier?

I have thought of a c/o plan. Anyone advise me different?

A.-.165mg    A-1/8mg    A-.165    A-.165

Start  A-.165      A-1/8mg      A.165    A-1/8mg V-1mg

wait 1-2 weeks

          A-.165mg  A-1/8mg    A-.165mg    V-2mg

Wait

        A-1/8mg V-1mg    A-1/8mg      A-.165      V-2mg

wait

V-2mg        A-1/8mg    A-.165mg          V-2mg

wait

V-2mg      A-1/8mg      A-1/8mg V-1mg      V-2mg

wait

V-2mg      A-1/8mg    V-2mg            V-2mg

drop the Ativan 1/8mg final dose

V-2mg      V-2mg        V2mg

start liquid titration

I am on nite 10 of my crossover from .5 mg. Ativan to valium.  I have been taking .25. mg. Ativan and 2.5 mg. valium nitely for the first phase.  Doing ok and no symptoms.  I am at a new crossroad -- do I do another phase II (down to .125 mg. ativan and 3.75 mg. valium) for another 10 days.  Or just skip phase II and start taking 3.75 mg. valium and see if I can get stable for a few weeks before I start tapering.  I am leaning to skipping phase II -- I only took the ativan at nite and had no problem with interdosing withdrawals until I went several nites without taking it.

I'm hoping I won't have to start my taper from 5 mg. valium which is the 1:10 equivalency.  My P doc said that I might be fine with a 1:5 ativan to valium equivalency.  Skipping phase II starts me out at 3.75 mg. valium after a 10-day crossover.  My chem doc wanted me to do a 3-day crossover too.  But I thought the valium would have more time to build up with 10 days. 

I know your fear -- it's scares the heck out of me too.  But I am feeling better on valium (surprisingly), and am hoping and praying for a smoother less bumpy ride too.  Do you take any supplements or other stuff? 

Let's stay in touch,

Rocko