getting off the Diazepam

Hi I am Oleander.  I was on 2 mg of Xanax and 3 mg of Clonazepam for insomnia.  I saw 4 different psychiatrists, all who thought I was on a tiny dose.  I finally needed to get off of it all.  I was having interdose withdrawals but didn't know what they were.  I just knew I wasn't sleeping.  So I went cold turkey for 4 days and went nuts.  Then my dr put me back on only the Clonazepam and I was fine.  He wanted me to cut down pretty fast but I wasn't gong through that again.  That's when I read about the Ashton method.  I am doing a modified version.  I might be doing it a bit quicker but I had the summer to get rid of more of it.  Also I don't have any side effects except it takes me a long time to get to sleep and I have a tingling sensation in my right leg and my right arm on and off.  I can live with both.  I tried a CBT but she didn't work out.  I am reading a book on it now and will continue to study it on my own.  I started my crossover in June 2010 to Diazepam and was really tired but I am used to it by now.  I am still tired in the morning and would like to get rid of those.

 

Oleander

Hi Oleander,

 

Good to hear you are on your way!

 

I believe Valium dose tend to be a bit more sedating then other benzos. Not always a bad thing, but it can be annoying.

 

It does look like you are going sort of fast, but if it's working for you, and you aren't having too many ill effects, you should be fine. Sometimes fast tapers can catch up with you though, so please slow down if you feel the need.   

Thanks Eljay,

 

I knew I had the summer off so I did it a little quick but I know I will have to go slower from now on.  I have to much going on.  It's just that the night doesn't seem to be enough and the morning is so debilitating.  I know I should move the night down next but psychologically I don't know when I will really be ready since I was on all those Benzos only at night time for sleep and now I am on about 1/5 of what I was on.  I need to be wide awake with a clear head.  I know it's asking a lot.  Kind of like when I asked the 4 different psychiatrists if I was on too much.  I guess I was asking to much there.  lol.  Glad I researched it.  There is just not enough info or doctors that know anything about it.  I am wondering if I was wide awake during a colonoscopy because the drugs they gave me weren't enough because of all the Benzos I was on?  The doctor knew my history completely.  The yelling out in pain kind of shocked him.  The remembering what everyone talked about verbatim kind of freaked him out but the report said all went well.  lol

 

Oleander

Waking up during a colonoscopy, ouch!    It's good you were watching out for yourself by doing some research, it seems others didn't quite get it! 

 

 

Wow, very traumatic! Sorry you had to experience that. 

I was awake the whole time.  I have to get these every 5 years or until they find a polyp.  My whole family gets them because it runs through my family big time.  They heard me yelling.  The nurse kept pushing more drugs in me but the pain is mostly in the beginning where more of the nerve endings are, in the sigmoid colon.  Once it reaches the descending, the transverse, and the ascending colon, you can feel it but it just feels like a snake going through the inside of you.  Very strange.  BUT the camera needs to come out so they have to go backwards and it hurts again at the bottom but he was much quicker.  I explained in such detail my Benzo problems.  This guy was so conceited that he actually said, don't worry your pretty little head about it.  I have done so many of these, I could do it in your garage.  WHAT?  He came highly recommended.  They actually gave me mg of Valium to relax me before giving me the IV.  LOLOLOL.  What was that going to do for me when I took 2 mg of Xanax and 3 mg of Clonazepam.  lolol.  When the doctor came to tell my husband it all went well and no findings I was too groggy to talk.  Great timing.  I told him to get the car and I nearly fell over trying to get my clothes back on to get out of there and then broke down and cried in the car.  I am not usually one to cry but I wish I did more research.  Next one will be with new doc and we will have a LONG appt regarding the Benzos and if he doesn't understand as much as a nursing student, then I will just move on.  But for anyone getting a colonoscopy I would say research, research, research because your doctor won't understand.  Bring in all the info you can and try to explain.  You will probably have to speak slowly.  lol.  Even though it was the scariest thing because I didn't know how long the pain would last I will still get one done every 5 years because I have seen what colon cancer did to my grandpa and it is really horrible and so easy to prevent.  My dad had a couple of polyps removed and they probably would have grown into cancer.  Well enough of my colon cancer speech.  lol.

Gees Oleander, you're making me pucker!  I still can't get over how much Klonopin and Xanax your Dr had you on, was it Versed they gave you on the table, does high tolerance to the benzo mean you need more of that to keep you under, I guess so huh?

 

Thanks for the cancer speech, I agree, this simple preventative measure can save your life.

Pamster,

 

Yes, it was versed and something else mixed which I never found out what.  lol.  I had Sodium Pentathol for my wisdom teeth extraction last year and was out like a light.  I am not sure what will work and what won't but I don't think there are too many doctors who bother to really, really look into Benzos and other cocktails of drugs.  That has to be our own jobs from now on.

 

Sorry about getting on my soap box about colon cancer.  It's just so darn treatable if caught early and there are so many that don't get them.  I know they are gross when you think about it and my story shouldn't scare anyone else.  It didn't scare me since I will be getting them forever.  My dad just got another one last week and clean bill of health.

 

Since I have to research drugs a doctor gives me since the doctor has never known, I really wish there was more information.  Why is this so quiet?  I have friends that are on Xanax.  I have a friend on Xanax that tried to get off before a drug test and couldn't do it.  They weren't even checking for that for nursing.  WOW.  Think that should be known as much as the pot and coke they were looking for but that's just me.

 

 

Oleander

Hey Oleander,

 

I think you ought to start a thread to get some input to your question, I'm trying to decide where though.    Would you think it's an Alternative Therapy suited for that board?  Or what about Chewing the Fat, where people discuss lot of things.  Or what about General Health and Well Being, I'm stumped, what do you think?

 

Tell you what, you put it somewhere and I won't move it. 

As you can see by my history switched to Diazapam from Ativan and have tapered.  However, while I know many would disagree with this approach, my Dr. prescribed 15 mgs of Remeron for the sleep and it has really been working.  Good luck.  You are doing great!

Thanks Jackson,

 

I have been on Remeron (and everything else made, lol) and it didn't work for me.  I am trying to just get off everything.  It has been hard and I am tired but I am going to keep trying.  Even though I feel good enough to jump this week I am going to stay put a few extra days to make sure I am stabilized and then get rid of some of the evening.  Really worried about that but I think that is psychological.  It is the only one I haven't moved.  I shouldn't be afraid, I used to take 2mg of Xanax and 3mg of K all at night and now only 20 mg of Diazepam at night.  Not quite the same.  lol.  I haven't figured out how to write on your thread.  Sorry.

 

Oleander

I got a huge project done.  I didn't make a jump this week. I am going to wait till the end of the week.  I have 2 projects due this week that I don't know if i can get done so I can't start making big changes right now.  I am just confused as to where to make the 10% cut.  I am so nervous about night time since I went on Benzos for sleep.  It would probably be the best thing to do but I am seeing my "CBT and biofeedback guy and I want to learn a little bit more on how to sleep first.  But I am taking 20 mg diazepam at bed time and only 7 mg in the morning.  It would make me more awake during the day to get rid of 2 mg of the morning and just take 5mg but I still haven't moved the night time.  I just can't tell.  My dr has not idea.  I just told him what scripts to write and he does it as long as I go in to see him and he has nothing to say since we are doing it my way.  I would gladly do it his way except he has no way to get you off of these, just one them.  It's midnight so I better try to sleep.  I set my alarm to take my morning early so my day isn't ruined.  The best was to get rid of that annoying afternoon 10 mg in less than a week.  

That made life easier.  my schedule is night and days.  I hope to get down pretty low on these by March because I will have some serious stress for 2 years straight.  We'll see..........

 

 

Oleander

This taper business is complicated, wow!  Did you say you set your alarm to take your morning dose? 

Pamster,

 

Yep, have it set for 5 am tomorrow.  I have to get it out of my system as much as I can so I can drive to school if needed or study if needed.  Sometimes I can't at night because I don't get home until after 10pm.  I need to get rid of these mornings.  They are cramping my style.  lol.  I have to take the 7 mg and it just puts me in groggy land and back to sleep or keeps me up and too groggy to understand what I need to understand.  But the best thing to do is to get rid of the 20 mg at night of diazepam but that takes me hours to fall asleep as it is.  My insomnia is just back, it's not a side effect.  It's why I got on this stuff anyway.  At least I cut down from a huge amt to a relatively small amount, comparatively.  I would like to get rid of some of the morning on Saturday after busy week ahead but maybe it should be tapered a little more even.  Of course I can't find anything on it except Ashton saying take more at night if insomnia is your problem.  I might just go with that and get rid of that last.  Decisions, decisions, decisions, lol.  Better hit the sheets.  Tonight I can get to sleep earlier so I have to take advantage of it.  Thanks Pam.

I was going to go off all of my morning dose of 7 mg of diazepam but decided to just get off 3 mg this morning and see how I feel.  I might get rid of the rest in a few days.  The morning just makes me sleep.  I have never had anxiety so I only need the night time amount.  That, unfortunately is 20 mg of diazepam but hopefully with my new CBT I can start to get rid of that too.  Going to school during the day and night with all these pills at different times just can't work out with driving and paying enough attention.  I really thought this year would be easier.  I can't do anything about it now.  I either go and live out my dream or go get some job for a paycheck somewhere and I am not ready to give up on my dream because of some doctors that decided years of Benzos would be good for insomnia.  They can't end my dream.  Well back to the books.

 

Oleander

I was going to go off all of my morning dose of 7 mg of diazepam but decided to just get off 3 mg this morning and see how I feel.  I might get rid of the rest in a few days.  The morning just makes me sleep.  I have never had anxiety so I only need the night time amount.  That, unfortunately is 20 mg of diazepam but hopefully with my new CBT I can start to get rid of that too.  Going to school during the day and night with all these pills at different times just can't work out with driving and paying enough attention.  I really thought this year would be easier.  I can't do anything about it now.  I either go and live out my dream or go get some job for a paycheck somewhere and I am not ready to give up on my dream because of some doctors that decided years of Benzos would be good for insomnia.  They can't end my dream.  Well back to the books.

 

Oleander

 

Oleander,

 

You seem to be very determined and know what you want! That's a A+.

I take 20mg of Valium 3:00am in the morning, I take it so early because of it's long half-life and it's 3 stages, which it has 3 Metabolites, as you may know. Methyldiazepam, Oxezepam and Tamazepam.. 3 into one (whoopidy doo.) right lol.

It's good that you have no Anxiety..I believe you said.

NOOO this will not destroy your dream and I'm not going to let it destroy mine!

I don't let Doctor's take my insanity nor will these pills.. a devil in a bottle! Sounds like you're doing considerably well.

Keep up the work!

PS. CBT is a good thing 

Some can do it in w/d, some find it more difficult.

 

Keryn.

 

Keryn,

 

I love your avatar.  That is how I feel.  I felt great today only taking the 3 mg in the morning instead of 7 mg but still just fell back to sleep and had less time to prepare for a huge exam I had today and one I have tomorrow.  I want to just get rid of the morning.  The very few people that know about all this mess want me to stick closer to the Ashton Method but I always took everything at bedtime.  Setting alarms is such a pain.  I was so glad to get rid of the afternoon ones.  I just took naps or was all drugged up.  I think I will go to 2 mg tonight since I don't have another exam until late tomorrow and then get rid of those on Friday because I have an early morning and a late afternoon.  I just have such a messed up schedule.  I used to set my alarm for 5 but 3 would be funny because sometimes it takes me that long to fall asleep so I wouldn't even need an alarm for my morning and I can't take my night earlier because I am in class at night or studying at night.  I am working day and night time.  I don't have any w/d symptoms, just the not being able to fall asleep very well but that is why the 4 psychiatrists thought that 2 mg of Xanax and 3 mg of Clonazapam were so great for insomnia. 

 

I'll let you know about the CBT doc.  He is a Licenced psychologist who has worked with that and with biofeedback for years but also gave me the realistic views on me.  I really appreciate that.  He said not being able to sleep for close to 20 years is going to take a long time.  He can't give me a date, obviously but said we are looking at over a year and I won't ever be normal, most likely there will be times I can't sleep.  Stress and all, ya know.  I live for stress so what's a girl to do except the impossible. lol

 

Thanks for writing.  I am new at this or I would write on yours.  I am looking around and learning.  I just grew up before the whole computer age stuff.  lol

 

Oleander

Wow, your taper seems to be causing you some difficulties.  I wish you could figure out a way to make it fit your life instead of it calling the shots. 

you said that right, Pam!!!!  I would like a breather from life for a few months, unfortunately it only gets worse after December so I gotta get off of all of it by then.  Oh, and then learn to live again without sleep while learning about how to treat patients.  lololol  Isn't life grand?  I have no w/d or sx, just a problem fitting them in.  I am going to go off another couple mg tonight and then another and get rid of the morning.  That should really help.  I think and hope I will be okay since I got rid of 10 mg in 4 days last month.  Hopefully I can get rid of the last 4mg of morning in the next couple of days.  My life needs to be 9-5 really.  I do know it never will be.

 

Oleander

I can see you're doing your best to do this right, I'm glad.  You have an ambitious schedule, I hope you can keep up with it!  Hey, with the profession you're going into, you'll never be 9 to 5! 

you got that right, most likely 3/12 hour night shifts.  I will be so glad when I have one test done tomorrow.  Then I have 2 appts on Friday and one is so early in the morning.  I am going down tomorrow morning by 2 mg and another 2 mg on Friday so I can make it to my appt.  It is super fast but if I am a mess I can take the 2 mg when I get home from my first appt before my second.  I have time to be a passed out druggie for awhile.  lol.  If I don't need it I only have the night time to get rid of 20 mg of diazepam.  THAT I will do one at a time with the CBT and biofeedback.  Hope he works because he is left in my insurance list for 20 miles around.  UGH.  I am trying to be careful and listen to my body and also live a life.  I feel like it was taken from me but of course I always blame myself.  I wouldn't take a drug now after my studies without studying it.  I wouldn't let anyone I know either.  What was I thinking back then?  I guess I thought doctors had the answers.  lol. I think they like going to the bank more but that is just the little sarcastic side coming out once in awhile.  I get over it but I am fighting to get all of my life back.  Before all this I was a busy girl doing some big changes.  I had no idea the consequences of the pills or getting off of them.  Boy, am I learning.

 

 

Oleander

 

Keryn,

 

I love your avatar.  That is how I feel.  I felt great today only taking the 3 mg in the morning instead of 7 mg but still just fell back to sleep and had less time to prepare for a huge exam I had today and one I have tomorrow.  I want to just get rid of the morning.  The very few people that know about all this mess want me to stick closer to the Ashton Method but I always took everything at bedtime.  Setting alarms is such a pain.  I was so glad to get rid of the afternoon ones.  I just took naps or was all drugged up.  I think I will go to 2 mg tonight since I don't have another exam until late tomorrow and then get rid of those on Friday because I have an early morning and a late afternoon.  I just have such a messed up schedule.  I used to set my alarm for 5 but 3 would be funny because sometimes it takes me that long to fall asleep so I wouldn't even need an alarm for my morning and I can't take my night earlier because I am in class at night or studying at night.  I am working day and night time.  I don't have any w/d symptoms, just the not being able to fall asleep very well but that is why the 4 psychiatrists thought that 2 mg of Xanax and 3 mg of Clonazapam were so great for insomnia. 

 

I'll let you know about the CBT doc.  He is a Licenced psychologist who has worked with that and with biofeedback for years but also gave me the realistic views on me.  I really appreciate that.  He said not being able to sleep for close to 20 years is going to take a long time.  He can't give me a date, obviously but said we are looking at over a year and I won't ever be normal, most likely there will be times I can't sleep.  Stress and all, ya know.  I live for stress so what's a girl to do except the impossible. lol

 

Thanks for writing.  I am new at this or I would write on yours.  I am looking around and learning.  I just grew up before the whole computer age stuff.  lol

 

Oleander

 

An Exam, eh?

What are you studying?

Ya, give me an update on the CBT. You were on Xanax and Klonopin before?

I c/o from Klonopin to Valium.

 

Get some rest,

Keryn.

 

PS. I made my Avatar.

I have a snag program that I use, it's a screenshot saver.

 

Hi Keryn,

 

yes, test for bachelor's in science nursing (BSN)  Thought it would be an easy semester but have night and days and stuff so it is crazy.  Starting next year it will be more hours but maybe a little more set for days for a bit.  I will let you know what I think about this guy CBT and biofeedback.  I have a minor in psychology from my first bachelor's degree and can't remember much of it but tried some self hypnosis.  I just went down 2 more mg from yesterday morning.  If I pass out, hopefully I will be able to get up and get enough time to study some more before microbiology examination.  yes, I was on 2 mg of Xanax and 3 mg of Klonopin.  I dropped the 'Xanax and c/o the K to diazepam, 60 mg down to 22 mg today.  Tomorrow, have to get rid of the other 2mg in the morning so I will be at 20 mg all at night.  I took all Xanax and K at bed time.  STill takes hours to fall asleep.  Got 4 hours and woke up a couple times so I am hoping for CBT.  Had long talk with him and he said after being an insomniac w/out learning how to sleep for 20 years and just taking sleeping pills and benzos I will probably never sleep normally but in maybe a year I could get better.  I am fine without sleeping sometimes.  I am used to it.  I just want NO drugss at all.

 

Talk to you soon.  I'll try to write on Friday after my appt.  I have no idea what to expect.

 

Oleander

Hi Keryn,

 

yes, test for bachelor's in science nursing (BSN)  Thought it would be an easy semester but have night and days and stuff so it is crazy.  Starting next year it will be more hours but maybe a little more set for days for a bit.  I will let you know what I think about this guy CBT and biofeedback.  I have a minor in psychology from my first bachelor's degree and can't remember much of it but tried some self hypnosis.  I just went down 2 more mg from yesterday morning.  If I pass out, hopefully I will be able to get up and get enough time to study some more before microbiology examination.  yes, I was on 2 mg of Xanax and 3 mg of Klonopin.  I dropped the 'Xanax and c/o the K to diazepam, 60 mg down to 22 mg today.  Tomorrow, have to get rid of the other 2mg in the morning so I will be at 20 mg all at night.  I took all Xanax and K at bed time.  STill takes hours to fall asleep.  Got 4 hours and woke up a couple times so I am hoping for CBT.  Had long talk with him and he said after being an insomniac w/out learning how to sleep for 20 years and just taking sleeping pills and benzos I will probably never sleep normally but in maybe a year I could get better.  I am fine without sleeping sometimes.  I am used to it.  I just want NO drugss at all.

 

Talk to you soon.  I'll try to write on Friday after my appt.  I have no idea what to expect.

 

Oleander

 

Oleander,

 

May I ask you a question, do you find the Valium isn't as sedating as it once was?

I'm starting to get less sedation as I taper down..Valium at first covered sleep well, but not much anymore; and that's bothersome.

I wouldn't up dose nooo.. just asking ya.

I am going back to school for Mathematics as it has always been my favourite subject, made straight A's in it.. naturally.

May work on becoming a Math teacher. I am a natural wiz at math, Algebra, Geometry, Calculus and Trigonometry.. also enjoy it.

Maybe become an Engineer, as it involves plenty of Math.

Nursing, I thought about Nursing a few times, my mother is a Medical Secretary and does a good job, ya bet' cha.

Klonopin is a hard drug to get off of; and I couldn't..had to c/, no choice.

Ya keep us all updated..and about the CBT too.

 

Keryn.

 

Keryn,

 

Darn, got a new laptop and I wrote you a long reply which vanished somewhere.  I have to get ready for school.  Our professor will be there early and I have some questions and I just finally got the energy to run again on the treadmill for 45 min. straight.  Quick answers now, diazepam is not as sedating anymore but I got off most of it in a couple months.  I will only have the evening to contend with.  I have to take a bunch of math I took when I got my BA because my new school doesn't count it for some reason like they want 2500 bucks for 3 algebra classes and stats class.  Will you be my tutor??  lolol.    I always wanted to be a nurse but I had a BA and a good job so I just stayed doing it and my husband said take the time off and do what you really, really want to do or I don't think I could swing it.  We live fine without my check, just a smaller savings and one less vacation per year but when I am done, it will be worth it.  My mom is very ill and watching those nurses in ICU really put it into perspective for me.  I finally know what I want.  The test today is going to be killer but I got an A on another test yesterday.  I only get A's until today, it won't be one.  Oh, well.  I will write about my CBT tomorrow afternoon afternoon.  Have a great day.

 

Oleander