Need help desperately - feel at bottom

[[Buddie]]

Hi - I have been working hard at my cross over from ativan to valium and I have been following the protocol in the ashton manual but I haven't even completed the complete crossover and I feel and look like a complete wreck.  What is happening to me??? I am either not sleeping at all or sleeping all day. I can hardly eat and am losing weight, which is bad as I am very thin to start with.  I have two teenagers who think their mom is useless.  I don't even have the energy to walk or exercise anymore.  Don't care about seeing friends, can't stand music or TV or even reading. Is it possible I am on too high a dose of valium and should start tapering before I complete the last step of my crossover.  What will that do to me?  I was planning to drop a mg of valium per week until I reached 20 and then slow it down to 1 mg every two weeks until 9 and then slow it again but should I do it faster if I am feeling this bad?  I am very scared.  I can't fail at this.  The only positive thing is that I don't have the interdose withdrawal anymore. But I feel barely alive. Please help me- I'm afraid to talk to my Dr. in case he does something to screw up this taper plan.  It is so important to me to get off these drugs, but I have never felt more fragile even though I try to hide it and get on with my life.  I have also finally found a part-time job as a counsellor for women in abusive relationships - they would not want me there if they knew I was having such a struggle.

Thank you for listening to my ramble. Appreciate all of you! 

[[Buddie]]

The equivalency factor for the purposes of tapering is sometimes too high or too low due to our differing physiologies. It's possible you don't need to be on this amount of valium. Another possibility is that valium just doesn't agree with you. This happens occasionally.
It would be reasonable to begin tapering now. You can actually cut up to 3mg valium at this point since that would equate to less than a 10% cut. But to play it safe, I would suggest a 2mg cut, every 10 days. 7 days isn't quite enough time, IMO, as valium is long acting. Give that a try.   

[[Buddie]]

Thanks [...] - I am finding it hard to even go back and read what I can and can't do regarding this taper.  I can barely concentrate.

One more question- should I stay on my last .5 mgs of ativan while I taper down from the valium? And if so when should I drop it?  Probably not at the same time - so how far apart from going down on the valium?

Thank you so much!

[[Buddie]]

You have a couple of different options

I was thinking first that you could just reduce your valium dose a bit so you might feel better, like maybe by 10mg. Then you could taper off the ativan directly at that point.

Or you could hold off on the valium taper and just start cutting the ativan without adding more valium. Get off that, and then start tapering valium. What size ativan pill do you have?

The last option, if you feel it's the valium making you sick, would be to cross back over to ativan and taper directly from that. We could set you up with a liquid titration if you find it too difficult to cut your pills. Of course this would prolong your taper start.   

[[Buddie]]

Hi [...],
I have the .5 size ativan - very  tiny but I am able to cut them in half.  I am not able to stop crying - so grateful for your quick reply.  I think the valium is making me feel sicker the higher up I've been going on it so I will try a valium reduction first then the ativan then continue to taper down the valium. - how long should I wait between the valium reduction and the ativan reduction. Also would two mgs of valium reduction every two weeks after that be easier to tolerate than 1 mg every one week? IYO

Thanks again

[[Buddie]]

Hi G,

Please don't cry! 

Actually, 1mg a week would be more tolerable than two mg every two weeks. Just a bit smoother. Since tapering by 3mgs at this point would still be under 10%, 1mg a week should be very tolerable. You might even be able to increase that a bit if you need to.
What I would suggest is to reduce your valium by about 10mgs and see how how you feel. At that point, You could cut 0.25mg of ativan a week or 10 days until off.

[[Buddie]]

Hi again, - I will reduce immediately - but since I am at 35mgs valium I can safely drop down to 25 mgs all at once?  I understand the rest, but I seem to have a foggy brain about the immediate drop. I will do today.

Thank for your patience!

[[Buddie]]

Hi again, - I will reduce immediately - but since I am at 35mgs valium I can safely drop down to 25 mgs all at once?  I understand the rest, but I seem to have a foggy brain about the immediate drop. I will do today.

Thank for your patience!

No no no! in increments. I just meant get down to 25mg in 1 or 2mg increments. 3 at the most. it will take you up to a couple of months to get down to 25mg.

[[Buddie]]

Hi [...],

Got it !! Thanks!  Will start today at 3mg increments.  I will let you know how it goes.

[[Buddie]]

Hi [...],

Got it !! Thanks!  Will start today at 3mg increments.  I will let you know how it goes.

Good! If you are doing 3mg cuts, I would hold each cut for at least 10 days. It will take a little over a month to get down to 25mg.