Frst time on any forum looking for help

I am a 53 year old male who hasn’t used alcohol for 20 years thanks to A.A..  I lost a lot of weight 2 years ago with the help of O.A. and I quit smoking.  More recently I’ve been trying to stop taking Lorazepam as prescribed by my doctor.  I had been taking between two and three MG a day for the past 10 years or more.  My doctor says I need them for my nerves; and while they do, or at least did, help me with moderately high anxiety, sleeplessness, and obsessive worrying, I rarely feel good and never feel great.  With all that I am doing for myself both physically and emotionally I should feel better than I do.  I can’t remember the last time I felt really good for any length of time.  For years now I have not had a lot of energy.  At best I’ll be excited or motivated to do things, but with out the physical and mental stamina to fully enjoy them I usually dread what others might look forward to.  A casual family function or a busy day at work, it doesn’t seem to matter.  Any event brings with it a kind of burden or weight that leaves me feeling like I’m constantly swimming upstream or against the tide.  Even worse are the familiar feelings of being detached from most experiences.  I decided to get off the Lorazepam in January, and taking only .5 MG once a day didn’t bring any noticeable consequences.  It wasn’t until about 2 weeks ago when I stopped taking them altogether that I began noticing: No improvements or change to the usual detached feelings; Big Headaches, which I rarely got otherwise; A mild but almost constant ringing in my ears; extreme sensitivity to sudden or loud noises; and the reason I’m now documenting my experiences: the onset of a panic attack which I have had twice before a few years ago.  After a few prayers and a lot of deep breathing I was able to slow my body down enough to know I probably wouldn’t pass out, have a heart attack or die.  That was yesterday.  Today I’m looking for some help and advice.  I am not against taking needed or necessary medications, however, I first want to know what it feels like to be me; just me, without any extra or unnecessary food and drugs.     

Hi sonny,

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies!! It sounds like you tapered off your Lorazepam too quickly. We generally recommend tapering 10% off your total daily dose every 7-14 days depending on how you are feeling. Most of what you are still experiencing are typical withdrawal symptoms. You may want to consider re-instating an amount that makes you comfortable, stabilize and then tapering at a slower rate. You may also want to read The Ashton Manual, it explains the ins and outs of benzo use and withdrawal. Here's the link... http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/index.htm

 

Let us know if you have any more questions, we'll be here!!

 

 

T2

Hello Sonny,

 

you've come to the right place for support to get off of these nasty meds. Many here are into tapering and others have done c/t as I did because I didn't know just how bad these drugs are.  I've learned a lot now and know either way is very difficult. Just know that whatever you decide to do others here will be here to support you with this difficult journey. Some have an easier time, and some do not. Take your time to decide what's right for you as even if you do reinstate there won't be any guarantee that you won't feel anything  at all, in fact it's rarely heard of in these matters.

 

I wish you much success and God Bless you as prayers will be needed also I find.

Hi Sonny!

 

Barring any other unrelated health problems, there is no reason you won't begin to feel like your old self.

Taking benzos for as long as you have can have quite an effect on stamina and energy levels. And the less motivated you are, the worse it gets. As you go thru the recovery process, you will begin to see your old self returning. But it's hard to say exactly how long it will take. It's so individual.

And healing from a benzo and it's withdrawal is not linear. You may begin to have periods where you feel great (called a window) only to plunge back into misery. But the windows are a good sign that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You will get better. 

 

Welcome Sonny!

 

You have come to the right place.  THere's lots of support here from lots of good people.  I am supporting my husband thru his w/d and I hear you when you say you just want to know what U feel like - just U and no meds.  My husband feels the same way.  I have witnessed that the very reason you took a benzo in the 1st place is exactly what you end up with in the long run - great more anxiety!  But I believe in the ashton manual, it is sound and is a safe way to taper.  There is no hard and fast rule here - everyone is different.  So just be patient.

 

Kiri

I am a 53 year old male who hasn’t used alcohol for 20 years thanks to A.A..  I lost a lot of weight 2 years ago with the help of O.A. and I quit smoking.  More recently I’ve been trying to stop taking Lorazepam as prescribed by my doctor.  I had been taking between two and three MG a day for the past 10 years or more.  My doctor says I need them for my nerves; and while they do, or at least did, help me with moderately high anxiety, sleeplessness, and obsessive worrying, I rarely feel good and never feel great.  With all that I am doing for myself both physically and emotionally I should feel better than I do.  I can’t remember the last time I felt really good for any length of time.  For years now I have not had a lot of energy.  At best I’ll be excited or motivated to do things, but with out the physical and mental stamina to fully enjoy them I usually dread what others might look forward to.  A casual family function or a busy day at work, it doesn’t seem to matter.  Any event brings with it a kind of burden or weight that leaves me feeling like I’m constantly swimming upstream or against the tide.  Even worse are the familiar feelings of being detached from most experiences.  I decided to get off the Lorazepam in January, and taking only .5 MG once a day didn’t bring any noticeable consequences.  It wasn’t until about 2 weeks ago when I stopped taking them altogether that I began noticing: No improvements or change to the usual detached feelings; Big Headaches, which I rarely got otherwise; A mild but almost constant ringing in my ears; extreme sensitivity to sudden or loud noises; and the reason I’m now documenting my experiences: the onset of a panic attack which I have had twice before a few years ago.  After a few prayers and a lot of deep breathing I was able to slow my body down enough to know I probably wouldn’t pass out, have a heart attack or die.  That was yesterday.  Today I’m looking for some help and advice.  I am not against taking needed or necessary medications, however, I first want to know what it feels like to be me; just me, without any extra or unnecessary food and drugs.       

 

Hello, sonny. 

 

Congratulations on all the things you have done to improve your health.  Your story of lack of energy and dreading things that should be enjoyable are all too familiar to me.  Lorazepam helped me for years until it turned on me and turned me into a shell of my former self, just going through the motions of living.  Last year I tapered off the same amount you were on and I still have some stray symptoms but overall am much better, including having more energy and enthusiasm.  It just takes time but no way to know how much for any individual case.

 

Since you took your last dose 2 weeks ago, I doubt that reinstating a small amount and then slowly tapering would do you any good at this point.  You know how to work your way safely off the panic cliff and I think documenting your experiences is a good way to identify things that are better over time as well as those little odd things that may crop up from time to time. I hope you get one of those windows others mentioned real soon.   

 

 

Hi Sonny,

 

So glad you are here.  You have done remarkable things for yourself.  Once you have healed from these benzos you will find yourself with more energy and enjoying life.  This is not an easy process but it certainly is doable.  When you hit those 'blips' just remember they are temporary.  You have already shown grit and determination and I know you will do this.  Best wishes in beating this last demon.

 

Patty  xo

Hi Sonny,

welcome to BB's. Congratulations on your hard work improving things for yourself already!,

 

I'm so glad you've found this place. There are loads of people here going through withdrawal from benzos and folk who have recovered.

 

It can be a tough process but is entirely possible with a good plan and attitude,

 

al the best,

Mr B

HI Sonny,

Glad you are here. Whether you chose to reinstate and taper or not, is up to you.But if that's an option you are looking at, don't wait too long. You are doing great. It takes a while to come back to normal, but it will happen. We will be here for you.

 

Good job on talking yourself out of the panic attack. It's a big deal to get that under control. Make sure you take the time to notice the little victories. It goes along way in our healing. I'm wishing you luck, and sending you strength. You'll get through this, we'll help. Kel

Hi Sonny,

 

welcome to benzobuddies, there are lots of great and unique people on this site and all of them can add their experiences. We have quite a few members here who are either tapering and some are benzo free, take a chair , relax and read the posts on this forum as they may answer your questions.

Welcome sonny!  You are so courageous for dealing head on with so many difficulties in your life.  Perhaps all of that was to prepare you to get off the benzos.  Like with all of life's circumstances, if we want to be healthy we have to face our fears.  Mine is depression.  Yours may be anxiety and insomnia.  I think you have been successfully dealing with a lot of tough issues in your 20 years of sobriety. I hope this last hurdle will bring you the serenity you so deeply deserve.  Reinstatement is an option.  Have you seen the "Taper" thread?  You can ask questions there specific to your unique circumstances.  Take what you like and leave the rest, right? Take care!

Welcome Sonny 

You sure did find the right place to help yourself. It has saved my life in just a few short weeks. I have learned so much with all the people here who have given me great advice. 

Congrats on your life change motivation and I pray for continued motivation through this very difficulty time.

Do the research you will find it extremely helpful and you will feel most of all empowered something I bet you can use.

I went c/t on years of low dose xanax (not knowing any better) and found myself in terrible w/d's that only reinstating to Valium has so far helped

. I am now tapering thanks to everyone here and the Ashton manual so all the best to you and my prayers are with you what ever path and journey you chose for yourself

a new Friend in Benzo Freedom

PennyB

Sandy