Question about depression

I am new to this forum, so I hope that I am following the proper protocols on how to post. At any rate, Im trying to taper off of Klonopin, and have noticed an extreme depressed feeling particularly late at night. I feel like crying, and have thoughts of suicide. Today, I went hiking and I felt good, then later this night I went back to feeling horrendously depressed, and scared that my girlfriend wasn't here to help me out. Will this depression lift without drugs? Are there any drugs that work realistically? Im afraid that I may spiral so low that I will need to end the suffering. One last thing, to anyone suffering depression like myself, If I can help you in any way feel free to send me a message. I think that if we try to help each other maybe that will be a key.

                                                                        Dan

Hi there panicboy, welcome to BB. 

The suicidal thoughts and depression are common to benzo withdrawal.

The feeling of being good following your hike and then a swing down into depression is one I recognise from my own withdrawal. It's so awful because it happens so suddenly and you really feel like you are going crazy.  But you don't and I didn't.

I was on high doses of benzos and a/d's for many years and have now been off all drugs for 18 months and can assure you that the depression does indeed lift.

There are no drugs that I know of that work realistically.

Can you tell us how much K you are currently taking and by how much you are cutting and how often?

Much love and healing to you

Vicky 

Hi Dan,

I am tapering of Ativan and I am also experiencing a terrible depression.  I don't do anything but cry when I'm not feeling like a zombie...and I am on antidepressants!!!  That I don't get.  I know I'm making everyone around me depressed.  All I think about is at what dosage will I start to feel better again.  I don't know if I could go for months feeling this way.  I bought omega369 because I heard it helps depression but I just started so I don't feel anything yet.  I am pretty new to this site also.  I don't know what else to say but I hope you start feeling better soon and let me know how you are doing. 

Hi, Dan.

You absolutely found the right place to post these questions.  There are many threads on this topic because it is so common.  Whenever  you hit one of those low points, remind yourself that it is temporary and chemical and hold on.

My psych doc recommended Omega 3 and Sam-E for depression.  Neither one will interfere with your taper and both are readily available.  They don't act instantly - don't know anything that does - but they should help keep the lows from being so low over time.

Yes it's absolutely normal benzo withdrawal.  I know that doesn't make it any easier to get through..but it helps to know you are not going crazy!!  I couldn't talk to anyone without crying my fool head off!!  I guess that's probably why the docs diagnosed me with depression.  Well if they were going through what I was going through, they'd be depressed too!!

It's a great idea to keep a journal.  That way you can chart the good and bad days and see on those bad days that a good one is right around the corner.  Once I was off the drugs, my mood leveled out and it just got better and better!  It will for you too!!

Love,

Jen

Before I forget, Vicky, I was prescribed klonopin 0.5 mg three times daily. I have never taken that much though, I took probably around 1mg daily, but for many many years now. I have been trying to taper down by breaking the pills in half, and taking one every 8 hours. That is 0.75 mg I think. I think my situation has been aggravated by going cold turkey off the SSRI's after being on them also for many years. I want to thank the others who posted responses to my concerns also, in my condition I cant remember your names, but realize that I appreciate it sincerely, and I am here for you also in any way that I can. I want to thank the moderator's and the more experienced members also, your time and advice is invaluable.

                                                                                  Dan

Hey Dan! Everyone is right, this is completely normal. Depressison is one of my most symptoms. I also have suicidal thoughts, but they are obsessive thoughts, not "I want to do it" thoughts. But alot of times now that I KNOW I dont want to do it they come and go easily.

As long as you arent thinking about actually doing it, planning it, I wouldnt worry about it. There's a site someone posted on negative thinking. Let me try to find it for you.

Amanda 

I am new to this forum, so I hope that I am following the proper protocols on how to post. At any rate, Im trying to taper off of Klonopin, and have noticed an extreme depressed feeling particularly late at night. I feel like crying, and have thoughts of suicide. Today, I went hiking and I felt good, then later this night I went back to feeling horrendously depressed, and scared that my girlfriend wasn't here to help me out. Will this depression lift without drugs? Are there any drugs that work realistically? Im afraid that I may spiral so low that I will need to end the suffering. One last thing, to anyone suffering depression like myself, If I can help you in any way feel free to send me a message. I think that if we try to help each other maybe that will be a key.

           

                                                                        Dan

I'm with you on the depression deal coming off Klonopin. I am most depressed in the morning though. At night I seem to be most calm and at ease and then every morning -- every morning -- every morning I wake up depressed and anxious and not looking forward to anything. It's awful. I've been somewhat a depressive person most of my life but always looked forward to things and did things I enjoyed, never really reaching a deep depression. This is as bad as I can remember it and sometimes it's hard to believe it's the little freaking pill. I sometimes think I'm using it as an excuse which is why I come here and ask the same kind of questions over and over again. Everyone here is so great. Keep posting, the support is here.

You know, depression is one of the most common withdrawal effects (and also just a general side effect) of any benzo, not just klonopin. I came off klon too, and did have depression before I tapered. It began to lift during my taper though.

I have heard also that valium can cause a lot of depression. So I don't think it's any one benzo in particular, just benzo. 

It does go away though!

I agree, Eljay. I think ALL benzos cause depression. I remember sometimes hearing that when taking them, but I didn't believe it to be true...then I found out the hard way. 

SO glad to be off of them! 

  Hey there Panicboy.

  I know how the depression can be...I was that way too early in my taper too.I would get so upset over the littlest of things and sometimes would cry my eyes out.

Have you tried Vitamin D as cholecalciferol ? that is supposed to be really good for depression and mood disorders.. I have recently started on 200IU's daily and it has helped me tremendously .

There is plenty of info on the net about it..just google Vitamin d and depression..if you are able to..or if you need me to send some links I would be happy to do that too.

  I know those benzos can all cause depression but maybe ..just maybe this will help get you through the bad times along with the omegas and the sam-e ..it can't hurt to try.. just make sure you get the form I mentioned if you do try it OK? Make sure you are getting good nutrition as in lots of veggies and fruits and good sources of proteins and no junk foods........this is a hard ride buddy but you will get through this and be better than ever on the other side.you will be fine ...hang in there..                 

and good luck to you my friend... 

  big hugs                                                Nola

Hey Panicboy,

I'm on a Klonopin taper right now at a dose of .5 three times a day.  I'm also clinically depressed from losing my Mom and Brother within the last 2 yrs, so I take an antidepressant with the Klonopin.  Does it help?  Who knows?  My good mood today got slammed so bad with depression earlier, all I did was lay on the sofa and cry.  I couldn't even bring myself to the forum!

Thank God it does come and go.  I'm waiting for it to decide to go as I type!     

Hang in there, yes depression is a very alive side effect for many of us!!

Best of luck with your taper and depression!

Ladyh 

Boyx and all others,

While Klonopin is psychologically an all-consuming drug, don't rule out concommitant, or comordid factors in your life.

This means stressful events which are happening at the same time. Considering my topic, Depression: The challenges of differentiating etiology. True that we all pretty much settled on Klonopin withdrawal as being the evil factor "X," I see that you had recently discontinued SSRIs.

Well my point is simple. Be careful not to lay everything at the feet of our addiction.

There be can a number of things which act as catalyst for profound, clinical depression. Keep in touch with your doctor and don't dismiss your depression but instead address it along with the many possible causes because major depression can strike the healthiest among us for different reasons.

Ten