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12-24 months and up support group


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Helen your thanksgiving sounded very relaxed with your son. I’m so happy you felt well enough to go see him. You’re truly a warrior to do that even though you’re having waves. Thank you for your lovely post. So sweet as always! And yes I’m so happy to have some relief. It’s not 100% but I’m grateful.

 

I’ve got my net to catch the window fairy for all of us! I heard she has a “ turn the corner stockpile of fairy dust”. She better quit being stingy and sprinkle us all.  :laugh:

 

Love and hugs to everyone….wrists locked 🤝 ❤️🤝❤️🤝

 

How’s everyone doing?

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I hit the 30 month mark yesterday. Sure hoping the next 6 months brings better healing and easier times. It's just been so brutal. Struggling quite a bit. Hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

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Live congrats on 30 months! I’m sending you tuned corner wishes and much better days. Big hugs 🤗

🌹❤️💗

 

I’m hoping the same for us all.

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LadyDen,

 

Thank you so much for the well wishes and encouragement. I hope the same for all of us as well, we need to turn a corner big time. Hugs! 🤗😘

 

LiveLife

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Hope you are all doing OK. Sadly reinstating the zopiclone didn’t work. Very very sick, thought turned corner last week had couple good days, but then went drastically downhill, spend most my days in bed, can’t face the world. So my tale of woe, hope you are all doing OK, really think I’m damaged beyond repair😩
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Oh, Leann, sorry to hear this!  I wish I had wise words, but only can send prayers that 2023 will find you feeling better!  I hope the zop hasn't set you back...you only took a few doses, right?  Did you try anything else?
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Good morning Yearlings! I hope everyone had a good sleep. I’m in total agreement with Live and GG in that 2023 will bring us nice turned corners. In case you all didn’t see the news posted in the main lobby…on November 30 there will be a documentary about benzodiazepines. For more information please go to the lobby to read it.

 

It’s good to see you all posting such support for one another. We all know it’s much needed in this journey. I’m thinking just now that it’s a good thing we only have to take one day at a time because two would be too many. As far as where I’m at…. I’m still having a few days decent ( not 100% but certainly 80%) a couple of medium ones and a couple of roughs. Every week repeat. At 29 months, I will say I’ve seen improvements in all of my main symptoms. They’re small but noticeable. They become obvious when I do things. For example, taking a bath - one night it’s boaty the whole task then the next night it’s barely there. So comparing two months ago, it was every time! Improvement indeed! I’m definitely fine tuning and probably rapid cycling a bit each week. I’m feeling like “ ok be finished with this already! “ So, as far as sitting up….it’s going ok meaning it has improved a bit. I’m still working on it. Anyway I just want to encourage you all to hang on to the good things. Everyday is a day closer to the end of this chapter. I hope you all do something that you enjoy today so you can wear your beautiful smiles!

I might start a new painting today that will be a gift to someone special to me. Good excuse to sit up more today. :thumbsup:

 

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten: Love and hugs

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Hi all,

 

I'm checking in to say that I'm trying to keep up reading the comments and I care about all of you!  Live Life and Leann, I know you are in really tough weeks and months and I can just hope you know how much we all care and wish it was different for you at this time. I'll keep pulling for you to come through this and sooner rather than later.

 

GG, LD, I'm so glad you are both feeling improvements.  I'm having some good days mixed in with some rough ones and a few in betweeners.  I'm sort of amazed at how bad one day and night can be and then how good the next day can be. It's very confusing!  I have to remember during these good days not to get carried away and make a bunch of commitments or plans.  I need to just keep the pace and keep on doing all the good things (healthy food, good hydration, structured sleep schedule, meditation, deep breathing and gentle exercise in the fresh air). Those are the practices along with TIME that are getting me there so I have no real reason to shift off of that just yet. 

 

I managed to ride in the car with hubby from NC to DC, spent 3 full days there and rode back in the car yesterday.  In that whole time I had 3 good days, 1 BAD day and 1 medium day. That's a massive improvement over previous attempts. I'm so fortunate that my family doesn't expect me to do any big things while traveling. They get it and are then delighted when I can make some of the outings with them. 

 

I may not post a lot through the holidays but will check in from time to time.  Please know I'm thinking of all of you. That's LD, GG, Livelife, Leann, Becks, J Ben, Decatur, Deanna, Jordan Jack, and anyone else reading here. 

 

Cheers,

Helen

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Ok Helen. Glad you’re home safe. Thanks for letting us know. You do very well and deserve a medal 🥇

I understand that you won’t post much during the holidays. I don’t plan to either but I’m sure I’ll post more often than you. I’m having the same pattern as you…we’re twinning again HA!

Few days decent. Couple medium. Couple rough….repeat. Even some days with a variety of the three. It’s all par for the course. A very good sign of healing for sure. Keep doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. I’ll be thinking of you and checking on you as well dear friend. Love you bunches! ❤️🌹

Thank you!

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Oh, Leann, sorry to hear this!  I wish I had wise words, but only can send prayers that 2023 will find you feeling better!  I hope the zop hasn't set you back...you only took a few doses, right?  Did you try anything else?

 

 

Thank you GG fir caring. She did prescribe some diazapam, used it when my husband had heart attack, dud help then , but no now, first couple days seemed really help, but then felt worse than ever. Got Skype call with psychiatrist on Friday, I know more meds not really answer, but am virtually bedridden, not eating much at moment. Not taking anything until speak to her, just desperate for bit of improvement after nearly 4 years of this twilight existence. Hugs to everyone.

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Just had really frustrating call with psych. Was meant be trying diazapam fir few months. Now saying git to take anti psychotic fir 2 weeks instead. Going to lie and say it’s making me feel awful not taking it. Get so frustrated none of these people will accept that this is withdrawal, I feel like J’m in hell. Just kept on like I was psychotic and on on about having therapy. And dismissing on line forums like this. This is for sychzophrenia  and bi polar symptoms that don’t have never even mentions anxiety  bid knkw who many are given the wrong meds. Just feel my life is over, wish I lived over there and could actually get something to help, not be told you are psychotic. Just feel my brain is fu**ed and the don’t give a damn.
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Lean I really feel you. I was given so many wrong medications and looked at like I was crazy because I listened to online forums. It is the reason I am here today. I got tested for sibo (positive) which has been giving me anxiety and sads. I hope getting rid of it helps because if this doesnt work Im at a loss at what to do next. I was also called psychotic. Well, I wasn't before meds. Hugs to you. I've had to lie too... it sucks.

 

Congrats Helen on 18 months!

 

Livelife

This sucks. Keep hanging on with me.

 

Hi Lady Den, as you say wrist locked!

 

As long as I don't eat my anxiety and sads go down. So does my weight. Almost done with this diet. I think Im only going to make it until monday. I hope thats all it takes. Then off to treat candida.

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Helen,

 

Congratulations on 18 months! We do love you.

Hugs!

 

I'm still barely hanging on.

 

LiveLife

 

Thank you Live (and LD) for the love! I'm feeling grateful right now. 

 

I would SO like for you to feel better.  I need to read your signature, Live.  I suffered with all sorts of horrible and debilitating symptoms for 14 years from the meds and am finally seeing some true progress. I've still got a ways to go but I want you to know that I understand long term suffering very well and it's NOT fun.  Please know I'm pulling for you and thinking of you.  I know you have some challenges.  I had a lot of responsibilities and obstacles and heartache for years which was why it took me so long to finally get off the meds. I've still got responsibilities and challenges but they aren't as dire now so I've been able to take better care of myself and that goes a long way.  Anyway, just know I empathize and want nothing but comfort and relief for you.

 

Helen

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Morning hugs Yearlings! Let’s congratulate Helen on her 18 month milestone!

 

Congrats on 18 months Helen! We love you!

 

Thank you so much LD! I love you back!  How are you doing today?

 

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Live my heart goes out to you too. As the others said please keep hanging on. We are all pulling for you to turn that corner! With wrists locked together 🤝 as Stitch said. Sending you healing vibes and love love love! ❤️💗💕

 

Stitch has the diet helped you? Hopefully it is taking care of your stomach issues. Hang in there for your last week of it. I’ve got wrist locked for you too. 🤝 thank you for your encouragement while you’re suffering too. Very sweet of you .

 

Helen I’m not doing well today. It started last night at bedtime. I’ve had very decent previous few days so I expected this. It’s my pattern. Fine tuning is going on I guess. How are you? Thank you for being such a sweetheart to post such support to us. I know like the rest of us you have bad days too but still manage to show love. We all do that for each other. It’s wonderful! So wrists locked to you too 🤝

 

To everyone else… I hope you’re quiet ( absent) because you’re in a nice window enjoying it. If it’s because you’re feeling bad please know I’m sending my love and feel better wishes to you. This is such a crazy journey. It can wear us down sometimes. Myself included, let’s remain encouraged and keep our eyes on our healing everyday. I find myself talking to my symptoms when they rev up stronger. I tell them they’re not welcome! Do any of you do that?

 

❤️💕💗

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Lean I really feel you. I was given so many wrong medications and looked at like I was crazy because I listened to online forums. It is the reason I am here today. I got tested for sibo (positive) which has been giving me anxiety and sads. I hope getting rid of it helps because if this doesnt work Im at a loss at what to do next. I was also called psychotic. Well, I wasn't before meds. Hugs to you. I've had to lie too... it sucks.

 

Congrats Helen on 18 months!

 

Livelife

This sucks. Keep hanging on with me.

 

Hi Lady Den, as you say wrist locked!

 

As long as I don't eat my anxiety and sads go down. So does my weight. Almost done with this diet. I think Im only going to make it until monday. I hope thats all it takes. Then off to treat candida.

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Stitch didn’t know what sibo was sorry to hear that. Yes I am realising psych seem totally ignorant over here of the symptoms of being made to go CT from long term meds. My husband didn’t help saying about the weird thoughts I had after bad reaction to flu jab. The stupid woman obviously decided I’m schizophrenic giving me anti psychotics. Doesn’t seem realise people with that condition don’t realise their fears aren’t true. She’s clueless  just kept saying that’s not normal behaviour. Have calmed down bit  eat something today. Going to try get some thing elsewhere just in case need it. Def not taking the pills all sorts horrible side effects don’t even help anxiety. Frightening how many people been mis  diagnosed due to psych ignorance and probably stuck on psych wards.

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Helen, Stitch and LadyDen,

 

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I am trying so hard to hang on. The fear is what's the worst of everything even though the other symptoms are bad. I just wish it would finally up and take its leave for good. I do get some breaks but they're not very long I never get a whole day. I just hope it's a good sign that it is coming and going. Really want to turn that corner now.

 

Leann,

I'm sorry you were suffering so much but I'm glad to hear that things are looking up for you.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

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Hi everyone,

I’ve been away since Thanksgiving as I’m continuing to suffer so greatly. I took a step away because I was in so much pain from the burning nerves, and was being triggered with hopelessness.

I missed you all and  have been thinking of you.

 

The burning on my head and body is so ramped up. I’ve gotten yet another UTI with antibiotics which just set me back over and over. It’s a vicious cycle of uti, yeast, antibiotics, uti, etc.

 

The vicious circle started after the high dose of antibiotics for my tooth extraction 6 weeks ago. Those antibiotics set off everything and then even more antibiotics; I hate taking them but when it’s infection, you have to get rid of it. I’m still trying to find balance. I take probiotics and eat decent, no sugar, etc, but I think my immune system is compromised.

 

I went to a gynecologist last week and she hurt me so badly because I’m so sensitized. It was very painful. I am now going to see a urologist later this month to do some tests judt to make sure everything is okay. Menopausal women can have so many issues. I had no idea!

 

So the stress of all the above is just keeping me in this horrible long wave. I am very afraid anxious, fearing because it seems I’m only getting worse. I tell myself that I will heal but my body isn’t doing so. If I could get relief from the horrible burning nerve pain, everything else would be okay.

 

I want to thank everyone for your kind support and the sweet replies on my last post about spending thanksgiving alone. I had a very hard time because I was in so much physical pain. Thank you LadyDen and Livelife for your recent encouragement.

 

If I could just have some days of no burning it wouid give me hope. It truly feels like hot acid scouring my body. Inconceivable pain which makes me so weak mentally. I try to be strong, but the relentless pain and torment is just too much! I just don’t know how to endure it. It just ramps up anxiety and so much fear! I feel that I’ve lost myself. Sometimes it feel like me vs. my body; like my body is against me. I try to tell my CNS that I’m sorry for what I did to it and that I know it’s working hard to fix things, and yet, I strangely feel like it’s against me.

 

I have anxiety from the battle and so much fear thinking what if it's this or that. I have ruminating thoughts regarding my symptoms and if I'll ever recover. I obsess about it and that makes the anxiety and symptoms much worse. Sometimes I wonder if I will go crazy from not being able to escape the pain.

 

I pray for my miracle everyday. I’m so sad that I have lost my joy especially during my favorite time of the year. This time last year I thought, well, next Christmas I’ll be so much better; yet here I am suffering even worse! I just don’t get it, why would I be worse?

 

I’m also experiencing a lot of muscle pain and barely sleeping. I have anxiety about sleeping because it’s not restful and I have pain.  So anyway, I wish I understood and I pray that the Lord would hear my cries for mercy and healing.

 

Helen, congratulations on your 18 months anniversary! You are so strong and courageous!

I hope everyone else is doing better. This is so very hard. I pray the holiday season is bringing you peace and comfort.

 

I am so grateful for everyone here and for helping to carry me.

Love to you all! 💕🙏

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Morning love to all you yearlings!

 

Live yes it is a good sign of healing when you’re getting relief even in short spurts.  :thumbsup: They will get longer and better quality…hang in there. It’s only a matter of time for you. I’m cheering you on to get that radio fine tuned. Sending you my love . ❤️

 

Jordan it sounds like you’ve had it pretty rough this thanksgiving. For that I’m sorry to hear it. You asked about why it’s getting worse…..it seems to be the normal path of this. Worse before better. I definitely went through that part. But it will pass. Hang in there. I’m sure you’re doing all you can. One thing that helped my bladder issues instead of taking antibiotics I took cranberry juice twice a day…about 1/2-1 cup. It worked wonders! Yes antibiotics are culprits of making people feel worse unfortunately. But if they’re necessary then you’ll just have to take them. I’ve heard of many people on here thought they had bladder infection but it turned out after getting cultures at a doctor, it wasn’t infection at all. This crap mimics other ailments. I’m not saying you don’t have an infection but if I were you I’d make sure. I hope you get to feeling better very soon.

That’s my hope for all of us.

 

Big hugs 🤗

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Jordan

I so much understand what you are going through, because I am suffering the same way with all the burning. It's horrible.

I hope it's a sign of recovery snd that we get some windows soon🙏.

Hugs, Jørgen

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Hi everyone,

I’ve been away since Thanksgiving as I’m continuing to suffer so greatly. I took a step away because I was in so much pain from the burning nerves, and was being triggered with hopelessness.

I missed you all and  have been thinking of you.

 

The burning on my head and body is so ramped up. I’ve gotten yet another UTI with antibiotics which just set me back over and over. It’s a vicious cycle of uti, yeast, antibiotics, uti, etc.

 

The vicious circle started after the high dose of antibiotics for my tooth extraction 6 weeks ago. Those antibiotics set off everything and then even more antibiotics; I hate taking them but when it’s infection, you have to get rid of it. I’m still trying to find balance. I take probiotics and eat decent, no sugar, etc, but I think my immune system is compromised.

 

I went to a gynecologist last week and she hurt me so badly because I’m so sensitized. It was very painful. I am now going to see a urologist later this month to do some tests judt to make sure everything is okay. Menopausal women can have so many issues. I had no idea!

 

So the stress of all the above is just keeping me in this horrible long wave. I am very afraid anxious, fearing because it seems I’m only getting worse. I tell myself that I will heal but my body isn’t doing so. If I could get relief from the horrible burning nerve pain, everything else would be okay.

 

I want to thank everyone for your kind support and the sweet replies on my last post about spending thanksgiving alone. I had a very hard time because I was in so much physical pain. Thank you LadyDen and Livelife for your recent encouragement.

 

If I could just have some days of no burning it wouid give me hope. It truly feels like hot acid scouring my body. Inconceivable pain which makes me so weak mentally. I try to be strong, but the relentless pain and torment is just too much! I just don’t know how to endure it. It just ramps up anxiety and so much fear! I feel that I’ve lost myself. Sometimes it feel like me vs. my body; like my body is against me. I try to tell my CNS that I’m sorry for what I did to it and that I know it’s working hard to fix things, and yet, I strangely feel like it’s against me.

 

I have anxiety from the battle and so much fear thinking what if it's this or that. I have ruminating thoughts regarding my symptoms and if I'll ever recover. I obsess about it and that makes the anxiety and symptoms much worse. Sometimes I wonder if I will go crazy from not being able to escape the pain.

 

I pray for my miracle everyday. I’m so sad that I have lost my joy especially during my favorite time of the year. This time last year I thought, well, next Christmas I’ll be so much better; yet here I am suffering even worse! I just don’t get it, why would I be worse?

 

I’m also experiencing a lot of muscle pain and barely sleeping. I have anxiety about sleeping because it’s not restful and I have pain.  So anyway, I wish I understood and I pray that the Lord would hear my cries for mercy and healing.

 

Helen, congratulations on your 18 months anniversary! You are so strong and courageous!

I hope everyone else is doing better. This is so very hard. I pray the holiday season is bringing you peace and comfort.

 

I am so grateful for everyone here and for helping to carry me.

Love to you all! 💕🙏

 

Dear Jordan,  I don't post much anymore but I read your post and felt I had to reach out to you.

 

I'm almost 29 months off the poison.  Not everyone suffers with the physical pain, but like you it was my most horrible symptom which was with me constantly.  It wasn't burning as you describe, but a deep nerve pain that was so intense it took my breath away.  I had been poly drugged and as soon as I started withdrawing from Gabapentin it started.  It was a fibromyalgia-like pain which made my life unbearable.

 

I reach out to you because I see myself in your words.  There were so many many nights (and days too) that I laid awake deep breathing to get from one moment to another.  I rationalized that if this was life I didn't know how long I could endure.  All I could do was survive moment to moment.  I've been where you are now and my heart goes out to you.

 

I want you to know that slowly, incredibly and excruciatingly slowly, the pain became less intense.  As the months went by I found I was coping better because I saw some improvement.  Sometimes it got worse for sure, but I had to keep my head above water to get to that next occurrence of perceived improvement. I know you are dealing with medical interventions which are obviously making things worse.  Your nervous system is fighting you because it doesn't like the meds :-( 

 

Once you get past having to take these medicines you can march forward again.  Clean diet, no sugar, no supplements or meds, meditation and calm day after day will get you there.  It is so agonizingly slow but it will come.

 

I wish you steadfast resolve, but please know that you are working hard to get your life back.  And you will live a most wonderful life indeed!!!

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Big hugs Deanna and everyone! I totally agree with Deanna. I certainly felt worse too for awhile then things started improving. Lately I’ve been having decent consecutive days with longer windows and milder waves. I’m very grateful. I’m trying not to get too excited and just see how it goes. But I’m definitely better after a long wait. I’m sitting up more, things are easier to accomplish and next I’m going to get back in my car for short rides very soon. Hopefully this weekend.  I’ve been absent because I’ve been focusing on improving.. Taking a break from here is also a good thing.

Sending everyone my love. Please know you’re in my thoughts.

 

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

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