Jump to content

Please help


[fo...]

Recommended Posts

Hi.My name's Mike and I live in the UK. I am severely depressed right now and live on my own. This has been the case for over a year now. I was on 30mg Mirtazapine and 6mg of Diazepam at night. However, especially during lockdown, and even now, this was and is NOT enough to avoid very low mornings. I would get up dreading the day and thinking it would be a real struggle just getting through it. Occasionally on an especially bad day I would take an extra 1mg of my own stock of Lorazepam, and this would work really well to calm me down. By late afternoon/evening things would always improve anyway. But the nest day it would start all over again however. Not having much to get up for isn't making things any easier. I decided the 6mg of Diazepam and maybe even the 30mg Mirtazapine were not enough. My doctor has now started me on an antidepressant called Vortioxetine (5mg) and I'm still on the 30mg of Mirtazapine for now, though this is expected to reduce to 15 mg in a week or so after the Vortioxetine has started taking some effect. The main thing is that the only thing that calms me down some days is the Lorazepam. So I'm now self medicating on 1mg of Lorazepam during the day and the taking the same at night and avoiding the Diazepam. It's helping in as much as the low mornings are more manageable but at the same time its the equivalent of tripling the Diazepam. So naturally I feel guilty. I don't have the best of Doctor's and don't have any other support for the depression/  anxiety, except I do have a counselling session each week. What to do? I have been chatting to a friend online who has had psychosis for many years. He says not to feel guilty about the Lorazepam since its really helping right now. My doctor has no idea I'm on this as I no longer trust her. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[fb...]
It would appear to me that benzos are the source of your problem, not a solution. If you need 2 mg lorazepam a day (equivalent to 20 mg diazepam) to work for you then you've already developed tolerance and your anxiety was probably benzo withdrawal. It would be for the best not to start another drug that you'll have to withdraw from later, so I would avoid vortioxetine like plague. As for mirtzapine, so as to avoid withdrawal from I would keep the old dose. You can stabilize on benzo, and then commence withdrawal. I don't know for how long were you on lorazepam twice a day, but I would drop the morning dose to see if I can cope, because withdrawal will be much shorter if you have to taper just nighltly dose.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I understand and appreciate your response, but my depression is quite serious at the moment, and as I'm already a week in to taking the new antidepressant it would be hard to stop and my doctor would not be happy. She doesn't know I'm taking the Lorazepam either. Last night I went back to the Diazepam and am going to try and avoid the 1mg Lorazepam today but it's going to be s real challenge. I was wondering whether anyone else has  been in this situation too, or similar?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[fb...]
Unfortunately we have all been in similar situation with psychiatric drugs. Depression is a tough one, but you are operating under assumption that drugs are going to work, however SSRI/SNRI drugs have a success rate comparable to placebo, except they are very dangerous. Many people have depression as a side effect of benzos, others have depression as a benzo withdrawal symptom. Adding more drugs to the cocktail is always a bad idea. It's better to try to stabilize on what you're already taking, than to add even more drugs to the mix. If you can't reduce lorazepam it's fine. You'll just taper for longer when you decide to come off.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It would appear to me that benzos are the source of your problem, not a solution. If you need 2 mg lorazepam a day (equivalent to 20 mg diazepam) to work for you then you've already developed tolerance and your anxiety was probably benzo withdrawal. It would be for the best not to start another drug that you'll have to withdraw from later, so I would avoid vortioxetine like plague. As for mirtzapine, so as to avoid withdrawal from I would keep the old dose. You can stabilize on benzo, and then commence withdrawal. I don't know for how long were you on lorazepam twice a day, but I would drop the morning dose to see if I can cope, because withdrawal will be much shorter if you have to taper just nighltly dose.

 

Pacenik makes some great points to consider, but I would like to caution you not to just drop your one dose bc some people find that it leads to interdose withdrawal ..this is bc ativan is not a long acting benzo and when you lose a dose your body can essentially go into wd between doses. If/when you choose to taper it is advised to keep an equilibrium of the med in your system...reduce dosage equally with each dose.

 

I am also concerned that you are basically self medicating the benzo. I think it may be in your best interest to let your doctor know of all medications you are on as they interact with each other. Could you maybe get another doctor that you feel good about?

I think its great you have counseling - it will be an important part of your recovery.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Mike, I’m alone and severely depressed too. I know how you feel. I understand the pain and the worry, the stressful decisions about the medications, the not trusting of the doctor. I don’t have anthing helpful to say. Just wanted to send you a virtual hug.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks so much guys. I really appreciate your responses. I'm going to stabilise on both the Lorazepam and the Diazepam for now, then do a slow withdrawal when I feel able. I think it's correct that I've been going on and out of withdrawal with the Lorazepam which isn't helping. Yes I have thought about changing my doctor and surgery. It's not an easy thing to do though. Thanks for the hug lilpea.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...