Depression is a symptom of a bigger picture. We can heal.

What I know first about depression is that it’s a profound invitation to be more real. All difficulty is. My depressions began 31 yrs ago. I got lucky when I awakened to what is deeply real in this life. So first, I became (and continue to be) unconditionally honest, taking responsibility for all that’s mine. No more blame game. That was the beginning of my healing. Having said that, the following has been a great help.

I’ve had depression/anxiety/insomnia and a benzo dependency for 16-17 yrs that started in 2003 when I took Ativan for extreme insomnia 0-3 hrs sleep/night after developing PTSD from being in a new, really difficult marriage, losing a baby to cancer, having 7 mos chemo and more. Finally, I found the answer to what’s going on physically. After a traumatic holiday in Mexico last year (2019), I contracted shingles, knew I couldn’t continue with all the meds and that I needed help. My band-aid approach of 7.5-10 mg of Valium, nightly alcohol and pot to help with my depression/anxiety/sleep was taking its toll on my body and I knew I had to stop. I had tried weening from benzos a number of times (first time cold turkey and learned how serious this is).

On a google search I discovered Anthony William ‘Medical Medium’, began his shingles protocol in May 2019 (tho I still drank until the last few months), and now am down to 1.25 mg Valium, no alcohol, and a little pot/CBDs. My sleep is now about 6 hrs/night average. I had also developed chronic fatigue and spend a lot of time in bed. A few keys to understanding my depression/anxiety/insomnia are 1. my illness is largely viral and 2. I need massive quantities of nutrition- the right nutrition to kill the viruses and support my body 3. 20 mg of melatonin/night. I bought all his books and I know it’s the answer I’ve been looking for for 20 yrs. Anthony William (celery juice trend) knows chronic illness. Depression/insomnia/anxiety are symptoms of chronic illness and may be much less benzo related than we think.  Weening from Valium is easy and I’ll be off soon. The diet is expensive but I know it’s the answer. I highly recommend it. I’ll update when I’m off the Valium.

Whatever works whether it's Ayahuasca, LSD, deep tissue massage, grass juice, Jesus etc. - if it works go for it.

But that's with you. You cannot speak for others. I've been into metaphysics for decades but I don't advise it -

that's with me.

Sounds like you've been through a great deal - yet, to get off Benzos - something others consider when looking at

your story.