the worst part about this is the lack of 'normal' coping mechanisms

not only are you severely, SEVERELY depressed for the excruciatingly long duration of this torture, but you cannot do the things most people do when they're not feeling well.

want some homemade chicken soup your grandma made for you? chicken stock usually has MSG in it, expect to feel worse after eating it.

want to go out with friends to take your mind off it? sorry, you're agoraphobic now and the DPDR makes the outside world terrifying and stressful.

you want to take a hot shower? nevermind, the peripheral neuropathy will make warm water feel scalding hot.

calming tea? actually, the herbs in that work on GABA and aren't good for recovery.

got a headache? forget ibuprofen, works on GABA too. maybe you'll try tylenol, but it won't work as well.

how about putting on your favorite movie to cheer you up? well... suddenly this classic movie you loved for so many viewings makes you feel NOTHING.

okay, maybe you'll just sleep... but then the insomnia keeps you awake, or the sleep you do get it plagued by nightmares and hypnagogic hallucinations.

and through all this you're alone. nobody understands, and if they try to, they help in the wrong ways. and then you seem impossible and it pushes people away. i am so tired and so, so drained. it's been a year since i started my benzo withdrawal journey and almost 6 months since i jumped. and it hurts so much

Hi Seafoam,

I feel your pain & suffering...Everything you have written down here I relate completely, I am sure it resonates with a lot of us sufferers,  well I know I am in the same boat! You have articulated and described each experience as it is!

I have done so much research, and of the many illnesses similar to Benzo and Z - Drug withdrawal is Traumatic Brain Injury(TBI), as our brain and nervous system have been injured , and its going to time faith, hope and lots of distraction to heal. I hang onto this narrative and brain plasticy!

The only positive I can take out of this 24/7 suffering, is that we have agoraphobia at this  present time during the Covid-19 lock down, which is completely ironic.

I read an article posted on a TBI site which headline is "COVID-19 Welcomes the World to Brain Injury-Type Isolation""https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/concussion-is-brain-injury/202003/covid-19-welcomes-the-world-brain-injury-type-isolation?

The opening paragraph reads:

Welcome to the world of isolation.

You are joining people with chronic illnesses like chronic fatigue and debilitating injuries like brain injury. You are finding out what it's like to be in my world, where people stay physically away from you, and you're alone in your home, with maybe a cat or dog to keep you company and not much else — except that because the whole world, literally, is in the same boat, people are reaching out to you and you have the energy and ability and means to reach back. But those of us with brain injury remain isolated within the self-isolation of SARS-CoV-2, the official name of the novel corona virus....

Hope you start getting some sort of relief soon.

CyberA