cant stop crying

I cannot stop crying. Ive lost everything due to this depression and noone knows how to help me i just want to die

if i had kids at least id have something to live for

I’m so sorry... this process can be brutal.  I cried an ocean during withdrawal and early recovery. 

 

Valium in particular is known to cause sedation and depression. If you’ve noticed more depression since being switched to Valium, I’d be sure to let my doctor know. 

 

I remember the feeling of wanting to die.  For me it wasn’t that I really wanted to die, but I really wanted the suffering to stop. I even toyed with the idea of cryogenics so I could be ‘defrosted’ once the misery was over.

 

Your job is to hang in there til this gets better, and it will get better. If you have thoughts of suicide (that’s not how I’m interpreting your post) here’s a link with information on reaching for help in the real world: Suicide, Self-harm & Threatening Behavior 

 

Keep posting for support, keep distracting yourself from the symptoms...we’re here for you.

 

 

HI,

 

Just wanted you to know I cry every single day and sometimes multiple times a day.  The grief and depression I have around this process is enormous.

 

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

 

FH

Thanku for makibg me feel not alone.

i just cried reading your post. are u healing?

 

I hope I am healing.  In a rough stretch at this time.  Holding to stabilize and then will cut again. 

 

How are you?

Im also going through the toughest times in my life. I dont think ill ever go through anything so dark and so brutal again. this is torture.

 

It is very tough and scary.  I belong to the long hold support thread. They are a very supportive group and even though I refuse holding, I have done some small holds and am holding now. 

Thanks. I dont think holding is a good idea for me Ive already tried it

 

I understand.  They are just a supportive and active group.  They welcomed me even though I have scrapes down bit by bit with my taper. 

I’m struggling bad at 5 months CT. I got hit with mental and physical I’m going to loose my career I used Ativan for 6 weeks at .75 in July-aug.  I didn’t like at all so doc said just stop I did and I went phycosis.  My husband has been caring for our teenage boys    I lost myself. I don’t shower much I struggle to cook and clean. I have lost my ability to feel. It like I didn’t raise my kids for all these years.  I feel disconnected affaird to be home alone yet when my husband and boys are here I still sit in silence because all I can do is talk about this.  I have had so many symptoms it’s insane.  This was never me.  Im having a very very hard time to see the light or silver lining I cry everyday I have been through so much I’m so scared and my cognitive gotnhit badly.  I have a lot of symptoms and I’m loosing my family      I need so much help.  I am only 38 and I’m so tired of this I wake up after little sleep and again same thing. How do you push forward for so long    I don’t see this being a short term thing.    I’m missing out on my kids important years and I can’t help with school.  I’m scared I won’t make it      Now I’m hot day and night it’s 64 in my house and my family is freezing and I’m hot.  I can’t be in the sun.  Everyone is tired of hearing abioy this so I’m stuck in my mind stuck in silence

I'm so sorry you are going through CT withdrawal. 

 

This is not your fault and I know it seems like it will never end.

 

You will probably get more support and response from the section on this site that deals with Cold Turkey  and Rapid withdrawal. 

 

Also, here is a blog post by Jennifer Leigh, who is a benzo coach who went through cold Turkey. 

 

https://wp.me/p7whZN-4yX

 

Keep holding on.

 

Final Healing

 

I wish I could take it away and make it all better but I can't.  I know you are suffering, we all are.  Please hang in there.  Look up Baylissa Frederick she has a good support for benzo withdrawal.  🙏💜✌️

 

B